As a young working professional working 40-60 hours a week, I'm having trouble finding time to even meet people at all. What should I do?

Learningtoclose · 2012-07-10T18:52:30+00:00

Not to sound too harsh, but you're making a lot of excuses, just do it. Don't like soling, do it till you find a wingman. Prefer daygame to nightgame, too bad, you work, and you can't quit your job. Make the time, don't make excuses or else you won't get out, won't meet people, and won't improve.

I work 80+ hours a week and still sarge 5 nights a week, it can be done.

Flashwit · 2012-07-10T18:47:27+00:00

I'm in the same boat. I suppose I didn't move to a new location to start my job, so it helps that I have a few social circles to interact with. I usually work closer to 40 hours a week than 60, but I still go out 3-5 nights a week. I frequently get less than 7 hours of sleep a night though, and I am a fucking slave to caffeine. Do your "other responsibilities" take up all your remaining time not set aside for sleep? If so (and if possible), maybe you should think about laying some of them off to make some time for yourself. I know if I had no time to go out and socialize I'd go batshit insane within a month.

I'm not a huge fan of going out by myself either. That being said, most of the friends I see on a regular basis were met through various sports teams/other extracurricular groups. Surely you can find some people with similar interests and go from there? None of your co-workers go out/do anything ever? It's tough but in a new location you've really gotta put yourself out there in order to meet new people.

You could try online dating sites? I have no experience in that area but it's a thought.

If none of that seems possible or reasonable, then I guess you'll have to start ramping up the daygame. Don't even look at it as a way to start picking up and going out with women (this is going to happen anyway), just try to make some connections/friends. Meet one person and even if it doesn't work out you can still get introduced to their circle of friends. All downhill from there.

EDIT: Spelling. I need more coffee.

PUAdept · 2012-07-10T20:28:26+00:00

Online dating. If you have a good job, you can be upfront that "I'm new in town and work a lot and want to meet new people." Good jobs and ambition are catnip for girls. Go out Saturday night. Always. Talk to everyone. Be open and friendly. Eventually you'll find at least a good wing.

pumapua · 2012-07-10T23:05:49+00:00

Same boat here. I'm an engineer also so if I don't sleep enough, my coworkers notice because it definitely fucks up my ability to think critically and analyze technical situations. In addition, I work in a completely rural area where there are no hot women around. I'm stuck to Friday/Saturday nights but once grad school starts up again I'm kinda fucked there as well.

edgar_alan_bro · 2012-07-10T21:33:35+00:00

Start up your daygame and approach girls throughout your day!

Your out for lunch and see a cute girl walking by you, WALK UP TO HER AND SAY "Hey my name is _____, i saw you from over there and I wouldve kicked myself if i didnt come over and say hi." Chat her up and get her number eject saying "Hey i gotta go i was on my lunch break, takes out phone hands it to her I'd love to see you sometime, here give me your number", schedule a date for later and boom you got someone.

60% of the time it works every time

sakuyuichiro · 2012-07-10T21:13:09+00:00

I understand how you feel and was completely stumped as well as what to do. I work out and work 40+ hours a week with the whole office job thing and that tends to eat into a lot of my time but one day I was in the gym and an epiphany hit me and I realized that since I'm busy I should just go and talk to girls I find attractive where ever I am. For this you need to have good day game and night game and it is like OJT.

2012-07-10T21:51:57+00:00

You've got the wrong attitude saying that no one would be interested. Make them interested. Lead the night.

BurnerSkunk · 2012-07-10T23:50:47+00:00

Im in the same boat but go up to 80+ hours sometimes.

Massive amounts of 5-hour energy (and rarely mix a little molly in there), and making the most of the weekend I do have, and pushing hard at work to have more of a work-life balance. Also started some hobbies I can do doing the work day for a few hours that are social. Bouldering at the local gym, and various excercise classes and meetups. Squeeze those into a workday and meet some people.

Estatunaweena · 2012-07-11T00:37:05+00:00

Okcupid.com

phallic_audio · 2012-07-11T01:33:36+00:00

it's gonna be quite a puzzle. The key is finding balance. Keep at it brother.

And yeah, take every opportunity you have. Daygame, lunch game, etc. Going out alone is quite awesome. Try it once and talk to everyone. Tell them what's up. You'd be surprised on how many solid people are more than willing to let you in their circle.

xyals · 2012-07-11T02:30:11+00:00

I'm in the same position but what I did was I made small talk with my coworkers became quick friends with many of them and asked them about going out etc (I work in a pretty boring town like yours). Most of them knew a few fun places, some knew club/bar/pub owners/employees and said they could get me on guest lists easy. Also I practice conversing with my co workers which helps me expand my knowledge of the place I work at and allows me to hang out with different people when the time comes.

2012-07-11T03:17:05+00:00

I started doing online dating for just this. Shoot a few messages off on my phone while in the office, get dates set up for the weekend. Feel free to PM me for more details.

meclaudius · 2012-07-11T04:21:02+00:00

I work in finance, usually 85 hours a week and 110 on bad weeks (usually 9 - midnight most days and a few hours on weekends). I can still see friends, work out, run text game and go party. If it's a Thursday night and I'm in the office, I might head out to a club for an hour or two, then come back and work. If it's a Friday, I'll go out and come in earlier on the weekend to finish what I had to. If it's a weekday, I'll do an approach when I step out to get lunch or dinner. If it's a weekend, I'll drop in a little bit of daygaming. During downtime, I'll build connections with girls I've met. It is doable. You just have to be prepared to cut out some sleep. Admittedly, that isn't fun and I know I would perform a lot better if I were well-rested.

NB: my office, my house and the central clubbing district in my area are all in the same place

squarehouse · 2012-07-11T07:46:49+00:00

I feel like daygaming is my best bet, but that's not something I'm particularly accustomed to either, and I'm still not sure when I'd get time to do it.

rAFC here, but I'm working on daygaming while I'm out doing errands: shopping, going to the gym, etc. I've tried going out just for the sake of approaching women, but the whole situation seems off to me. Maybe part of me needs some plausible honesty to game effectively.

Besides, part of me wants to learn game like it's kung fu: Like I could just suddenly start gaming on a whim whenever I'm out doing something, and not only when I've set time and decided on a venue.

I've heard that experience day gaming actually improves your night game more than night game does. Not sure how though, other than that with day game you don't get to take advantage of drinking and tricks. You're perfecting your ability to have a decently long and sober conversation with a woman you've just met.

SunnyPixels · 2012-07-11T13:24:08+00:00

Have you thought of online dating ?

This is something I just started and have had good success with. I'm a girl though, so I'm not sure what it's like on the guy side of things but I don't think you would have anything to lose just trying it out.

I hear many people speak of OKcupid.com but I didn't like that website when I tried it so I've switched to Plenty of Fish and it's been a lot of fun. It's hit and miss, but it's a good way to meet people you might not have a chance to encounter otherwise. You exchange a few messages with someone and if you're both interested than you set up a date and time to go for a drink or whatever else you feel like doing (I like mini-golf for a 1st date :D).

One of the date I went on to, we didn't connect on a romantic level but I ended up making a great friend! And through this friend I might have a chance to meet other people, who knows!

I highly suggest trying it, like I said, you've got nothing to lose. It's easy, you create a profile, put up good photos and check out whatever your matches are, or do a specific search and just start sending messages to whoever you think you could be interested in getting to know better. If they don't message back, no big deal, at least this gives you a chance and it's easy to do with whatever work/life schedule you have!

rmbarnes · 2012-07-10T22:21:11+00:00

Sounds like your work situation (hours & location) are interfering with your sex / social life. You'll have to decide what your priority is.

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