Asking out women without flirting?

Western-Month-3877 · 2026-04-02T14:52:47+00:00

Telling her she’s attractive falls into flirting. Don’t overcomplicate it.

norwegiandoggo · 2026-04-02T14:37:29+00:00

Learn flirting. It's a skill that requires practice.
Stop mentally masturbating and get rejected in real life. Learn to be okay with rejection.

zebekias · 2026-04-02T16:53:24+00:00

Anything will work some of the time.

If you look good and are congruently confident, you can literally say "you are cute, and I definitely want to take you out" and some % of attractive girls will be thankful that you asked and accept.

A memorable moment in my journey was a quick #close at the W Hotel rooftop in DC. She was thankful. She was by far the hottest girl I had ever #closed. All the fancy slicing and dicing of the 5 years since I studied and practiced game... to get to this simplicity. I thought the chance of flaking was high, but sure enough when I messaged her a few days later she instantly accepted and we had tons of fun.

So do what feels natural to you.

Certain_Process_7657 · 2026-04-02T15:09:43+00:00

Calling her attractive and asking her on a proper date is flirting. The problem is when you leave it ambiguous like you would be cool with just being their friend.

stick_it_in_your_bum · 2026-04-02T15:09:59+00:00

This is my approach on apps. I find that for whatever reason flirting there doesn’t translate to dates for me. So I just make very brief convo then ask them out. Seems to work better for me than having endless conversation or “flirting” or being clever

StrawberryLogical341 · 2026-04-02T19:19:30+00:00

I used to be exactly like this, couldn’t flirt at all so I’d just go from normal convo straight to asking her out

on paper it sounds fine but yeah it can feel a bit out of nowhere if there’s no build up at all

it’s not that you need “flirting skills” though, it’s more just showing a bit of intent before you ask

even small things like teasing a bit, holding eye contact a second longer, or just saying something slightly more personal makes it feel more natural instead of a sudden switch

I had the same issue where I thought I either had to be super smooth or just go full direct, but there’s a middle ground

honestly the reason it feels hard is just not being used to that kind of interaction yet. once you’ve had more of those moments it stops feeling like this big risky jump

your approach isn’t wrong btw, it just hits better when there’s a bit of build up before it

Doki_Doki_Doki · 2026-04-03T14:19:26+00:00

dude, keep it genuine. if you're vibing, a direct ask like 'let's grab a coffee' works. just make sure to read her energy first. it's all about timing and confidence, not some magic line.

Lacunaethra · 2026-04-02T14:23:56+00:00

should work with women who are equally horrible at flirting or don't mind your rational approach.

probably won't work with women who like the game, the banter, the conversational sparks.

Warm-Fun5226 · 2026-04-04T19:55:49+00:00

Ok well I think that you should try different things out and see what works. Trial and error. Also I wouldn’t recommend saying directly that you’re bad at flirting since that could tend to seem self conscious and already saying that she is attractive is kinda building up that flirty energy and a good start. My best advice is trying the app Shawty in order to understand what you’re doing right and wrong and make real progress from there. I wouldn’t overcomplicate what your doing and being straightforward while making them feel secure and engaged is best

CoachSlyDating · 2026-04-02T16:47:10+00:00

You will lose way more often than you will win if you don’t flirt. The good news is that flirting is mostly a mindset to not be bored in a conversation. You want to have a playful vibe. Think of it how you may tease your little sister.

A lot of flirting is nonverbal too, she can pick up the vibe you are giving off. Two vibes that work. One is to have the mindset that it is funny/hilarious to approach her. The other is I’d suggest getting slightly turned on when you talk to her. Just imagine yourself with her. The point is, she will feel what you feel. If you feel bored, she will be bored.

Title	Asking out women without flirting?
Author	tin8374
Upvotes	13
Comments	14
Date	April 2, 2026 2:19 PM UTC (4 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1saip7v/asking_out_women_without_flirting/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/asking-out-women-without-flirting.1576980 https://theredarchive.com/post/1576980

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