Can’t f*cking approach (rant)

dreamingplays · 2019-07-08T21:40:51+00:00

A lot of people are saying “just do it” but as someone who had severe social anxiety it is not always that simple. Would you tell someone who has a phobia of roller coasters to “just get on it bro”? No, phobias are complex and require strategic action to reduce the fear conditioning response and extinguish the fear.

I would recommend taking baby steps through an exposure therapy program. First, ask 5 hot girls for the time. Keep repeating this until you feel comfortable with it. Then, you can build upon that. Ask 5 girls for the time, and then also give 1 compliment to each girl. You get the idea, the trick is to first get you comfortable talking to women and then adding things in as you progress. Create a hierarchy of fears and work your way up from the smallest fears to the largest fears.

It’s like being a newbie weightlifter who wants to bench 300lbs. You need to build your strength up from a smaller weight all the way up to a larger weight. Not just go for the larger weight right away.

kalz44 · 2019-07-08T19:28:31+00:00

Maybe ask yourself why this is so hard for you. What’s holding you back?

QawL · 2019-07-08T20:42:49+00:00

I did cold approach to a girl that has been looking at me for 2 days straight at the library. I got so excited, it was pretty much a failure, kinda put together through the end. She acted weird after that, I don't know why for sure but whatever. Now I don't have the same anxiety as before. (In addition : what really helped me was 3 second rule, you wanna go talk to that girl? Go and talk to her in 3 seconds after you see her.)

If you totally screw it up it's still worth it. You will get rejected so much more because of the fact you're doing cold approaches. If you think about it nice way to get over to the rejection fear as well. Just do it, it's better than nothing.

Murfdigidy · 2019-07-08T21:13:47+00:00

I've always used this analogy when dealing with approach anxiety.

Approach anxiety is alot like jumping off a high dive platform. People who sit on the edge looking at the water way way below them hesitate and think too much, then end up not jumping. Those who just run back and jump, do it.

Never never linger when approaching, just go or don't go. don't sit there and think about because you won't do it. Approaching is all about just taking that jump off the high dive platform, just do it

_imayush_ · 2019-07-08T19:28:01+00:00

Dude, this is me. Same stuff happens to me. I just cant find the balls to do it. Thoughts like "Youre better alone, you dont meed them" comes to my mind and i pull off. Facing this since last 6 months. But still i hope theres some light at the end of this tunnel and better things are waiting once we start. To start is to do. So go for it man.

FloridaFireball · 2019-07-09T00:17:47+00:00

get Todd's "winner game" product. its' free and covers a lot of approach anxiety things.

bemore_ · 2019-07-09T05:10:24+00:00

Try meditating to reduce thoughts

xxbryguyxx · 2019-07-09T13:43:02+00:00

You could take the direct route and approach. Your in a grocery store, strike up a convo about something in that aisle and get her opinion. Mentally, it seems like you want to do it, whats the worst that could happen rejection or not doing it, the end result is the same. You go home with your thoughts and rant. One other thing i would add is to be quick with your convo game to keep it going. Confidence is key. I have literally done this in a shoe store. Build your confidence up to approach first. Grab your nuts and say i would like your opinion on the best paper towels in this grocery store.

ilikepie145 · 2019-07-08T19:06:36+00:00

Just do it. It’s not hard. Ur just overthinking it

IllustriousPepper8 · 2019-07-08T21:00:06+00:00

Just do it bra. After 6 times you won't died and it Wil just get easy.

Title	Can’t f*cking approach (rant)
Author	KofiDreedZ
Upvotes	11
Comments	19
Date	July 8, 2019 6:41 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/cap1j3/cant_fcking_approach_rant/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/cant-fcking-approach-rant.1291485 https://theredarchive.com/post/1291485

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