[deleted by user]

2022-09-23T16:36:41+00:00

I know everyone pushes direct openers but If you have this level of social anxiety start with indirect openers. Start with being super indirect and have no intention of asking the girl out etc and over time slowly build up to having longer and longer conversations, when you get better with that start introducing intention and eventually ask for her number or Instagram. Have a plan written down of how you intend to progress and try your best to stick to it.

For example

Monday - ask 20 girls for directions, so just say "excuse me do you know where the nearest Starbucks is" then walk away when she tells you

Tuesday - same as Monday but add a cold read before you leave - "you're not from [name of your city] are you", " no I'm from xxxx", "I thought so have a nice day"

Wednesday - same as previous day but add something about her reply, "really xxxx such a nice place why did you move here"

If you follow this pattern you can take baby steps and hopefully get over your shyness and get comfortable talking to girls. Start with purely friendly conversations, When you're ready you can add non physical compliments to start indicating intent like "I love your energy you're so chill", slowly make the conversations a bit more flirty with eye contact, smiling, moving a bit closer and then eventually get to a point when you're comfortable saying "I'm going have to run now but you're going to have to give me your number as it was really fun talking to you"

The important things are baby steps and writing down what you intend to do each day and what you actually achieved to keep yourself accountable.

Top_Client9752 · 2022-09-23T11:50:10+00:00

Start by starting conversations with everyone you cross paths with throughout your day. Men and women alike, with no agenda other than acknowledging another human and passing a few moments together.

Speaking to men as well makes you appear more sociable and less predatory.

The conversations don’t need to be long. Maybe a compliment about their style , and a simple question about how their day is going, or what the highlight of their week is.

If you need tips on how to keep the conversation flowing and connect more deeply, I’ve previously detailed it here.

Consider joining community groups, attending workshops etc that are likely to attract people with common interests and values. It’s much easier to connect with people when you already have something in common.

lifeintraining · 2022-09-23T18:13:54+00:00

The best advice I can give you is to be confident. Don’t go into any social interaction trying to “win” or impress anybody. You are your own self and not everybody is going to appreciate you. As long as you’re comfortable with yourself then you’ll be able to approach social situations with no fear.

drunken-_-redditor · 2022-09-23T18:49:07+00:00

Eye contact and smiling go a long way. In general If someone just simply says hi and they have a nice smile and eye contact you’d be more receptive than someone who isn’t.

The second part is knowing when it’s appropriate to approach and strike up a convo. If they’re busy with headphones in their ears and speed walking you can assume they are probably not gonna be as open to hanging around for a 10-15 minute convo. This is especially the case in nyc.

But I want you to notice something, everything I said above applies to both GUYS and GIRLS.

If you don’t have a problem with speaking to guys or creating friendships with guys. Then it may not be your social skills. But more so that you’re viewing the woman you see on a pedestal which could be what gets you nervous.

At the end of the day, women love great conversations too, they like making new friends, and they like fun charismatic people(regardless if you’re introverted or extroverted).

Maximum-Malevolence · 2022-09-23T10:51:39+00:00

Are you trying to date them or just talk?

Resident_Afternoon48 · 2022-09-23T19:39:13+00:00

Where: tinder, Bars, etc etc.
How: I dont mind pointing out something if they look like someone or if I am genuine about a perfume, clothes, vibe etc. But I do analyze my interest and act on it.

I dont expect anything back other than it feels good to give to other people. I do this to anyone though. The trick when giving compliments is to do it specifically.

When I go out alone I mostly do bar hopping as it makes many new encounters possible.
One beer, one bar :) and tbh it doesnt matter what you say, just as long as you say it.

if you overhear something: "I overheard you saying that". But do be mindful of how welcoming people are depending on the culture. Where I live I do excuse myself or ask them if I could join them for one beer. The best thing is someone understanding and respecting group dynamics without overtaking them completely imo.

Or you could use Tinder or other dating apps. Write you are new in town in description perhaps.

However! Quick tips for spontaneous meetings 1 on 1.

I would tell them if I were the main part or early convo would be:
Hey, I am new to town etc etc.

It is a great opener and opens up to a lot of other fun stuff. Where to go, dream places, where you have been, how it is being new. Even how to approach people.

It touches at surface and also depths if people allow it.

Canadian-Seductioner · 2022-09-23T13:37:24+00:00

The same way you'd start a conversation with any other gender.

RedditsOlderBrah · 2022-09-23T11:06:04+00:00

do you need to strike up conversations with strange women for some reason? you know you can just hang out with your friends? meet people through friends of friends and such?

don't get me wrong i think it's good you want to become more sociable, but you're stuck at saying 'hi'. i suggest if you really want to pursue this you see a therapist and work through it professionally and not through this sub.

curisax · 2022-09-23T11:43:10+00:00

type in 'infields' in youtube to get an idea.

V-Future · 2022-09-23T17:44:05+00:00

I usually ask her name first and if she asks my name back is because she is interested in me. If she's not, I will leave the interaction immediately without any damage.

Otherwise, it would be something like: -Hi my name is Neil Armstrong, how is your name? +Who? -My name is... +Who asked you? -Uh... +Stop talking to me, I don't care who you are, leave me alone.

It happens all the time but these weirdos from YouTube will not show you this part.

And don't interview women because is boring as hell. Don't ask for her siblings, what she does for a living if she lives with her parents, no... It's stressful. Remember you can do whatever you want to a woman except bore her. Just talk about other stuff, she's not applying for a visa or a scholarship. Please don't make invasive and personal questions when you meet her.

Just keep it casual, simple, non personal. Have fun, don't judge her and don't try to impress her.

zapadz · 2022-09-23T19:01:35+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08sXxIx6ots

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGYy_QKRS4c

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qu-wFuDqZws

Try the free “start conversations with women” video here http://davidtianphd.com/masterclass-content/

2022-09-23T20:29:11+00:00

When I approach girls, I glance at what they're wearing, what they're holding/carrying, etc. And make convo. there. I couldn't give a shit less whether I ACTUALLY care about what they're wearing or how nice they look. I'll just pretend I do. For instance I'll be like, hey I like how your did your eyeliner, what's your favorite makeup? And really not give a shit about it at all but would listen just because it's a conversation that strikes up a girl's mood to get her started and to be able to feel herself/feel comfortable/natural. lol

2022-09-23T20:30:28+00:00

The most important thing fact though is to NEVER fear rejection. Ever. You can't really give a shit about 'em. lol. The right one will eventually come. Trust me. Let them come to you don't go to them. lol

HomeschoolProm · 2022-09-23T20:38:08+00:00

“Hey, bottom text”

2022-09-23T20:38:59+00:00

This gets asked multi-weekly. You haven't tried for even 30 seconds. Fuck off.

burncushlikewood · 2022-09-23T22:01:57+00:00

Here's a great video on conversation, I believe opening is very simple, you just ask her name and introduce yourself, the middle and end part of the communication is most important, this video is attempting to tackle a very complex part of seduction, which is the verbal aspect, what to say and when to say it https://youtu.be/KBBnve-LcFo

GabeDrumBeats7Seals · 2022-09-23T23:07:06+00:00

Getting a job is an easy way to just build the confidence. But one where you have to interact. Simple.

TheRealAlkemyst · 2022-09-24T01:24:57+00:00

saying hello is not a bold move. It was common not so long ago.

Hister333 · 2022-09-24T02:29:37+00:00

Just say, "Hi, I have a felony."

iiexistenzeii · 2022-09-24T05:21:19+00:00

Like you start conversation with anyone else

Gaydame · 2022-09-24T06:38:31+00:00

If you are socially introverted don't go direct... Yet!

Step by step. If you can talk to guys, you can talk to girls. Just do exactly the same as you do with guys and ignore the fact that they're girls... For now

Once you're comfortable talking to girls the same way you do with guys, then you can introduce a sexual element, but don't do this until you're comfortable with step 1, which will probably take a hundred or so approaches.

Good luck!

mfposgbcs · 2022-09-24T07:15:10+00:00

Just gotta work up to it.

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	54
Comments	48
Date	September 23, 2022 10:49 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/xlu5tr/how_to_start_a_conversation_with_girls/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1249512 https://theredarchive.com/post/1249512

Comments