[deleted by user]

Delicious_Ad_1853 · 2022-08-09T13:54:38+00:00

The standard advice is, "If you don't want a girlfriend, don't act like a boyfriend."

I'm a fan of open communication, though, so i don't like to rely entirely on subtext like that.

The problem with being blunt right away is that it's usually comes across as a premature and jarring decision. The world is FULL of people that "weren't looking for a relationship" when they started their relationship.

Are you already sure that you won't ever want a relationship with her? You've completely ruled her out as incompatible?

If there's some chance that things could blossom, there's nothing wrong with leaving that door open, even if it's not your top priority.

zisehuar · 2022-08-09T23:49:29+00:00

I wish everyone would even bother to think that way. I'm a 39f and I'm telling you most men pretend to be interested in a relationship when they're not. I think that's borderline evil and definitely bad karma. You're at a great start. There are many women who are fine with sex only, although you're probably aware it's not the majority. I'd say build rapport for a couple of dates and break it to her in a sense that you are not looking for a relationship. You will have to "give" something to be a gentleman, and you should probably disclose what that would look like for you. Such as, you'll still take her out for dates before you'll be intimate etc. Mind you, women tend to catch feelings when they have sex so you should check in with her on that frequently to hopefully avoid heartbreak.

HighestTech · 2022-08-09T13:46:24+00:00

I don't look for anything serious, just want to have some fun

restivepanda · 2022-08-09T16:07:16+00:00

Put in your bio “No hookups!”

peduxe · 2022-08-09T17:21:54+00:00

Careful because it’s actually the sex that progresses the relationship.

I’d just see how it flows if both are single, no need to rush things.

Just call it having fun…

2022-08-09T23:50:46+00:00

I was kind of in the exact same situation, but the girl has a boyfriend and i wanted company, not just sex. My advice is just be direct with her and tell you want to have sex with her, without saying too much about it. If she is not mental, and is someone you actually know, and is not your arch nemesis, the best thing she will say is no.

Why be upfront? Because if you r solely looking for sex you should not waste your time investing onto someone who doesn't want it.

megainculu · 2022-08-09T13:47:42+00:00

Bro you don't say things like that. You have to get to know her better but at the same time you need to escalate things with her and subconsciously communicate that you are not JUST their to get to know her better. Women don't want to feel like sluts. So if u say that all ur looking for is sex then that won't happen.

MacDwest · 2022-08-09T16:22:07+00:00

Plug the term “fun” any chance you get. E.g. you sound fun, I like to have fun, let’s go do some fun shit together

Blaphrodite · 2022-08-09T20:36:56+00:00

Tell her all the sexual things you’re wanting to do .

nlmbmel · 2022-08-10T00:43:34+00:00

Just say if you ain't suckin dick why yo lips movin

2022-08-09T23:46:13+00:00

Accept that you are only looking for something casual, that way you won't need to overthink. With your intentions set, you only then need to talk to her normally and find out what she's looking for. You might want to have f*ck her, but she might not, she may have other intentions in her mind. Just don't feel desperate because then you're expecting something. When you have no expectations, it makes conversations more easy to have and less anxiety-ridden. And hey, if she's looking for something casual then great. If not, then you both go about your day. You are just two strangers afterall, don't make it deep.

i_love_some_basgetti · 2022-08-10T03:51:54+00:00

Maybe ask her what shes looking for first, and then the dialouge is open for you to express yourself and your needs. Definitely make sure she knows its not because of anything wrong with her.

EquipmentZestyclose · 2022-08-09T14:47:04+00:00

sounds like first world problems over here again

2022-08-09T13:37:31+00:00

Tell her when you're done having sex

Alternative_Pin5925 · 2022-08-09T20:12:55+00:00

Say I’m only looking to have fun with fun people

ilovefootball49 · 2022-08-10T05:43:17+00:00

Show her your driver's license. Point to where it says (M) male. She'll pick it up eventually.

MrBlack__ · 2022-08-10T07:30:50+00:00

You don’t

UrFavPlayerIsBack · 2022-08-09T21:59:48+00:00

Thought u already smashed and wanna keep it casual

Dude, ur overthinking. Smash her first. Then dont promise the ring if ur not serious. Be honest w real shit. Thats that simple

Antitititesisis · 2022-08-09T20:18:08+00:00

La verdad os hara libre

Antitititesisis · 2022-08-09T20:18:52+00:00

La verdad os hara libre

Particular-Pop-2484 · 2022-08-10T01:07:13+00:00

There’s also woman out there just looking to hook up. I met a guy recently and we had the “what are you looking for convo”

He just got out of a 7year relationship and isn’t too interested into jumping into another, but that window is still open for him ( it seems)

I on the other hand, straight up said a relationship is completely off the table. I try to keep texting at the minimal and I told him I’d like to be sexually exclusive with him to prevent stds and well condoms suck ( I’m on birth control). I just asked that if he does have sex with other people to be honest about it (I won’t be mad) and vice versa. They’re awakard convos to have but necessary

For reference I’m 23f he’s 25m

badhombre88 · 2022-08-10T01:15:11+00:00

Just say you want friends with benefits. Don't be afraid of getting rejected.

below298 · 2022-08-10T21:52:02+00:00

Call her cute and tell her you wanna hook up.

That will be $5 please. 🤑

Reasonable_Ad_6626 · 2022-08-11T02:01:22+00:00

"I am just looking for fun"

Simple...clear.

Just be sure what you want... Cause your last few lines seem to show that you don't know what you want.

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	36
Comments	54
Date	August 9, 2022 12:04 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/wk1kk8/how_to_say_youre_only_looking_for_sex/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1252499 https://theredarchive.com/post/1252499

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