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dobbs1997 · 2022-08-08T16:58:12+00:00

I think a girl coming home and wanting to take things slow shows a lot of character. She is worth pursuing and considering for a longer term thing if you really click. I am more attracted to girls like that.

shittyfuckdick · 2022-08-08T16:36:50+00:00

You're too impatient, be patient.

CutMonster · 2022-08-08T17:36:36+00:00

lol, women who have guy friends don't make out with them in the guy's bed and shower them with compliments on how good they look. She likes you, and the fact that she's withholding sex means she REALLY likes you and doesn't want you thinking she's easy with all guys. You're just gonna have to wait for her to be ready, which will probably be in 3 to 5 dates. Dunno, you can ask her if she usually does this and ask how long she likes to wait.

2022-08-08T17:03:32+00:00

I'm with u/Minute_Statement_829. You just need to be patient. You've had one date. The fact that she wasn't comfortable fucking on the first date doesn't mean she's uninterested. She just has boundaries. It's good that you respected those boundaries.

Now let's touch on "the friendzone." It's not a thing. Sometimes people just realize they aren't romantically attracted or compatible with another to a person, and that's all there is to it. You can enjoy hanging out with a person without having romantic feelings for them. It's not the friendzone, it's just a friend.

Just continue to respect her boundaries.

P7o7s7t7a7l · 2022-08-08T16:30:03+00:00

No sex on first date is good rule to uphold.

Actually there's this scale of promiscuity based on various scenarios.

One night stand: Basically meet the same night and have sex, and usually never see each other again. Health professionals frown upon this and I'd say a majority of people think it's not good.

Sex on the first date: Not a one night stand, but it's like one knotch below the amount of risk. Obviously the longer you've known someone before you decide to go on a date the better.

Is there ever really a length of time or ideal before getting sexual with someone you date?

Dangerous_Item_6879 · 2022-08-08T17:11:22+00:00

Wait for 2nd date. Try again.

Beginning-Ad-8041 · 2022-08-08T17:26:27+00:00

Usually they are trying to boyfriend you when they delay sex a few dates despite kissing and making out and being intimate, gj reading her body language btw, a lot of guys forget that you can use touch even just platonically to test a women to she is interested or not or just playing games with you ie. just using you for free meals

There is a chance she was not shaved and not ready for sex but if she knew about the date in advance she should of been ready

Just go again it’s her being the problem here not you, like others said you will need to be patient

devolve79 · 2022-08-08T17:45:20+00:00

You're not going to get friendzoned. Chill

great_account · 2022-08-08T17:52:27+00:00

Bro it was one date. Lots of girls don't want to give it up on the first date. She seems into you. Give her a few more chances.

ImpressiveGrocery959 · 2022-08-08T18:30:11+00:00

Never consider someone to be out of your league.

I don’t think you’re at risk of being friendzoned. Just hit her up and schedule a second date doing an activity.

Don’t just ask her round for a movie and food as she might think you’re just interested in sex.

futuremo · 2022-08-08T16:46:00+00:00

You're fine, just try again next date

CocoBabeNYC · 2022-08-08T16:48:59+00:00

Girls need a bit more work to be ready for sex. All guys need is to wash their dicks and we are good to go. Women need to shave, make sure that are fresh down there, but also shave legs, pits, etc. So just chill. Being a horn dog will work against you right now.

2022-08-08T16:57:49+00:00

She’s into you and you’re gonna blow it.

Nullroute127 · 2022-08-08T17:29:35+00:00

In this scenario it sounds like she wanted to, but had some condition that wasn't met.

She was feeling slutty. A label on her emotions in the right context can help, "Whether we go further than this or not I'll feel no differently about you."
She wants to make sure you're not going to hit and quit
She might have been feeling self-conscious about her body. Maybe her period, or that she didn't shave, etc.

Also, you gave her an 'out' and and she took it. In my mind you should have solved the condition and engaged a bit more on what that is. I'm not saying keep going pass a form objection, but you gave too easy a way out IMO.

The 'almost' sex thing can be a problem. You got real close to sex without getting there. Now she may give herself justifications of why she didn't sleep with you. This can cause some dissonance with future attempts; if whatever she conjures as to why she didn't sleep with you still exists it'll cause some resistance, regardless of it being material.

You encountered some last minute resistance and likely needed to do some problem solving vs bailing.

dobbs1997 · 2022-08-08T17:54:35+00:00

The fact that you said she’s out of your league….lol cmon man… That’s the real problem here, maybe that explains why you played it so safe with her & why she may have not wanted to proceed sexually…

CanUnusual8729 · 2022-08-08T17:54:00+00:00

Man it sounds like you had a great night! Not sure why you’re so worried about it. If she was complimenting your looks and making out with you in your bed, you’re probably not in any danger of the friendzone… She told you her reasons and it sounds like she’s being sincere. Just keep seeing her and don’t overthink it.

modidlee · 2022-08-08T18:01:52+00:00

Dude if she’s kissing and grinding on you you’re not in the friendzone. She’s probably just really nervous about hooking up too fast. The best thing for you to do is to let her take her time getting comfortable. If you’re making out with her, trust me, eventually she’ll be so ready to go all the way she’ll almost take it from you LoL

RedditAtWorkIsBad · 2022-08-08T18:08:38+00:00

To echo other comments, you aren't friend-zoned, and you need to be patient. That said, don't let it interfere with your masculine energy. Don't get upset or offended. One thing I may do in that situation is play with it a little and say "you are right that we should take it slow because you shouldn't be feeling so good as I'm kissing your neck right here, and you shouldn't be enjoying the thrill of me running my hand through your hair like this" etc etc.

She'll be thinking about it before your next date.

ArtofWar2020 · 2022-08-08T18:13:57+00:00

In the wise words of Sir Lil’ Wayne,

“She say sorry I didn't shave so that pussy a little furry I put that pussy in my face: I ain't got no worries”

2022-08-08T18:19:27+00:00

i mean everything seems fine, but i always thought it was funny when girls would say that shit followed by "because usually i just fuck them and they never talk to me again" then i'm over here second guessing what i did wrong being the only dude she didn't put out for hahaha

Coconut-Lemon_Pie · 2022-08-08T18:39:48+00:00

You already made out, you're past the friend zone. She probably wasn't ready and it's good that you didn't pressure her. Maybe she just wasn't prepared for how well it went. Respect her pace and let her know how you feel :)

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	39
Comments	44
Date	August 8, 2022 4:25 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/wjd5iw/brought_a_girl_home_on_a_first_date_but_she/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1252580 https://theredarchive.com/post/1252580

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