[deleted by user]

stumpdawg · 2022-07-29T18:06:10+00:00

Because it's fun?

dick_head4life · 2022-07-29T21:45:01+00:00

Life’s too short to be left wondering “what if?”

vulgardisplayofPoK · 2022-07-30T00:33:04+00:00

I don’t know but that isn’t my case, I’ll just go into a first date looking to know more those girls without having an explicit sex mindset, the rest comes naturally with time or may not at all, but I’ve experienced that females feel way less pressure and are willing to have a sex encounter in some future occasions.

Mfs gonna say “ain’t got time for second dates, it’s first one or never” (or some similar way of thinking), that’s why these mfs don’t get laid. Like the incels whom just commented

GorillaGlue89 · 2022-07-30T00:50:42+00:00

Man the one time I took a girl out on a date and tried to be friendly instead trying to make it happen shit went completely horrible I somehow made the girl insecure by not giving signs that she was attractive to me soooo idk everyone’s diff

FranciscotheBull · 2022-07-30T00:55:03+00:00

Couple things:

We are all sexual in some way, shape, or form. It depends on the contexts. If you two know it is only just friends with benefits, then go for it. If not, communicate and say it is not what you are looking for.
I can't speak for women and not say all men and/or women, but guys are very into trying to get as much as possible.
It can be flattering that he finds you attractive. Depending on the chemistry, he may like you as a person and turned on by the chemistry on the first date. If you didn't feel the same thing, then of course that is a different context. I am not sure how often you two communicated so it is difficult to say.
First dates is can be difficult for a guy to know if a woman is interested, so he probably went for it. Again, don't know the full extent.

Contango6969 · 2022-07-29T21:11:02+00:00

If a girl won’t kiss me on the first date then there won’t be a second date.

One of the biggest and most consistent differences between men and women is that men don’t really want you to want us for our personality. So to us, knowing someone well and making out aren’t such connected things.

Mediocre-Training-69 · 2022-07-30T01:04:49+00:00

Yea basically because guys are sexually motivated.

Depends on the date. I've had sex with women within minutes of first laying eyes on them. It's also been a few dates for some before it gets physical. In either case it was established before the date where it'd be going. Chatting for a few days before meeting is a good idea to figure out if it's something you are interested in.

And no, a chick not kissing you on the 1st date doesn't mean she's a prude. Could mean she don't like you.

I've beat a chicks ass on stage at a kink club who I didn't kiss on the 1st date.

YMMV

Leading_Research · 2022-07-29T19:29:21+00:00

It’s all down to you. Take your time and if they don’t like, it you know where they go.

2022-07-30T03:33:01+00:00

Me personally, if I don’t at least go for a kiss or a make out, I have this fear she won’t be interested and move on and I won’t consider it a successful first date

AngeloMacon · 2022-07-29T23:36:05+00:00

Not understanding what your issue is? If you're not interested, turn your head on the good night and move on. Otherwise, you're on a date. It's not some random dude who just spontaneously tried to kiss you.

cormacru999 · 2022-07-30T01:35:53+00:00

Assuming you are a woman, asking a men's group for their opinions & if you've read the answers, you've already realized it was a mistake. I will point out that this subreddit is specifically for men trying to learn better techniques on dating or sleeping with women, & implicit in that is a disregard for the woman. Men will read that & be upset, but if you spend some time in this forum, you see it every day, especially when a man will ask the group why they never want to hear advice from women, & many of the men here are of the mind that women are tricky or deceitful or just not good people, that its a hard road to trick or convince a woman to date them, that women all have the ultimate power of choices because men desire them & there's a lot of anger in that seeming power imbalance. They are typically not at all interested in learning what women might be looking for in a partner, & seeing what they might learn to be more appealing, beyond the basic ideas that you must be as attractive as possible, so athletic, working out, they believe $$ is a great asset, but learning about women's experiences, their concerns, fears, struggles, are probably all over dramatic, made up, or exaggerated.

To actually answer your question, the reason men focus on sex, or that form of contact, making out, feeling you up, getting you naked, etc, its often because they have very little sense of what else there is. You can see from the answers that men expect a "payment" for their attention, time, $$,anything they took you to do & of course you're a woman so your entire worth is in your fuckability. If you're not going to give them that, or at least the start of that, then you're wasting their time & they already have to fight reality to even get a woman to agree to hang out, so they don't want to waste any more time.

The best advice I can give you, & men for that matter, & I'm almost 50 years old & dated many amazing women, slept with many amazing women, been married once & am a father & grandfather whose has decided to stop dating because I'm unwilling to put in the effort that it deserves, I'm focused on a writing project & being a better father than I was & a great grandad - all of that said -

We habitually leap into relationships, or for women, this often means they think the man is decent, sleep together, move the guy into their space & quickly realize its not the best match, or, is in fact a bad, toxic match. At that point they often feel stupid, shame, & fear of being alone, which happens to men & women, but women tend to stay in relationships longer in hopes that the man will improve.

You should look for red flags right off that bat & a man pushing to make out with you or go further IS a red flag, they aren't listening to your boundary & they probably won't change that issue, or will pretend to & then force it later when you're more stuck. You should date people, as in live in separate places, for a good while, you should see how they act when they are angry, or under stress, how do they act then? How do they get along with their family, do they have any friends & what are those relationships like? Do they know any other women & how do they act around them?

The idea is that if you go slow & take your time & this future partner respects that, you are way more likely to have a successful, long term, meaningful relationship. There is nothing wrong with having sex, or dating around or being poly, but I get the sense that's not what you're looking for, but if you were, the same stuff applies, to be safe & happy, develop any relationship over time.

(for the men who will read this & be upset, I just don't follow the comments, I make time to write a solid answer & that's all the time I'll make for this)

humptyone · 2022-07-30T01:49:56+00:00

Get our hands on ya. What else?

inline6throwaway · 2022-07-30T02:53:20+00:00

I usually see if she wants to make out. If she does then that kind of let's me know how she sees me. Men are always going to want to make out with women they are attracted to.

Jewcygoodness88 · 2022-07-30T03:17:25+00:00

I mean why not?

always_plan_in_advan · 2022-07-29T23:43:07+00:00

[permanently deleted]

stanfarce · 2022-07-29T20:56:34+00:00

Men are more sexual creatures than women. I'm oversimplifying, but for men it's just a switch and they just need to see the woman for their switch to be turned on. For women on the other hand, it's more a gauge that needs to slowly go up so guys need to adapt to that (it looks like your arousal gauge was quite empty at the time lol).

2022-07-30T01:51:35+00:00

Because a guy has sex on his brain 24/7. We’re burdened with having testosterone coursing through our body and it makes us horny. Making out is just a prelude for what we really want and that’s to hopefully turn you on and make you want to get naked.

P7o7s7t7a7l · 2022-07-29T18:20:00+00:00

Because they answered all your texts?

I would think that if she was texting me, and as emasculating as it seems to just write texts back and forth, that eventually when we do date, i can restore my masculinity by kissing her.

ftdrain · 2022-07-30T00:49:17+00:00

Im usually making out in the first 5-10 minutes, sex on the first date almost always happens (like 90% of the time), if I want to go bareback they are also up for it. I look way better than the average dude tho, especially nekkid. If she doesnt put out on the first date the second one usually doesnt happen, unless shes hot, then she gets the second or third one, avg girls get 1 shot (but usually only last 2-3 encounters). Point is

Geaux_tigers69420 · 2022-07-30T00:11:09+00:00

Buddy just from reading this post I can guarantee they don’t want to have sex with you.

Ok-Argument-1015 · 2022-07-30T01:13:58+00:00

It’s yummy to make out. I’m a chic love to makeout like a teenager

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	16
Comments	42
Date	July 29, 2022 6:05 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/wbbl3o/why_do_you_guys_want_to_make_out_on_the_first_date/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1253303 https://theredarchive.com/post/1253303

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