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[–]PurpleCookie_Og 52 points53 points54 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Truth!
[–]loofyd 66 points67 points68 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is a point i have drilled into my head as a way to cold approach more women
Even if most of them have boyfriends etc, it shouldn't really matter because you behaved like a classy man, paid her a compliment and were direct and upfront with her
That makes her day
AND it increases your confidence
And even a small confidence boost can go a long way
[–]AK1010 45 points46 points47 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Got my girlfriend to read this and she said it does brighten our day 1000% as long as the person doesn't take the rejection bad and keeps it polite so that's some good feedback boys.
[–]zeliew 14 points15 points16 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
This is so true! If a guy approached me in the street and asks for my number, I’ll 9/10 say no because I don’t give my number to strangers. But if he compliments me in my dress, my smile, something personal and genuine, I might consider it. Even if I’m not very attracted to him, I’ll either say yes to give him a chance, or simply to boost his ego a little.
[–]No-Seaweed 4 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
So what would be the best way to approach you and get your number if I was to do it?
I was thinking of doing this as my opener: “Excuse me, I saw you from over there and I just had to come to say I found you super attractive and I wanted and if you’d be down to get a coffee or drink sometime”
But this feels clunky, looking to improve this
[–]zeliew 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No maybe don’t mention directly the number thing. And attractive is too general. Find a compliment that feels special and genuine, not a pick up line. Don’t make it seem like the only reason you’re saying that is to get the number, commit to the compliment. I’d say « Hey I just wanna say I love the way you dress like your fit is fire », let the person respond and then be like alr have a good day and unless I can give you my number…
[–]Ambitious-Ice2357 74 points75 points76 points 4 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link
I don’t need to make her day. I need to get laid.
[–]Dumweight 23 points24 points25 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lmfaoooo
[–]TheBroMagnon 16 points17 points18 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Make her day, might she lay, need all you say, is I've got a shit-ton of money and everyone has a price, I have depraved degraded activity in store for you in my vise, also you have beautiful ears it was a pleasure speaking to you, but seriously get the fuck in the car it shouldn't be this much work bargaining with a prostitu...
[–]perkal8tor 14 points15 points16 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
This mindset is what holds men back in my opinion. You just see women as a prize to win and ultimately getting laid isn’t gonna fill that feeling of lack you have. Sure it will make you feel good for a bit but then that same feeling creeps back in and rears it’s head. Switching to an unconditional giving mindset like OP is what ultimately will lead him to success because he’s indifferent to the outcome and just wants to spread joy. If you’re looking to have sex just because you “need” to get laid women will pick up on that and ultimately that comes off unattractive and needy.
[–]vardarac 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I get what you're saying, but it is hard to not feel quite literally worthless when your approaches do not provide the value you would love to give to others, particularly in a realm in which a lot of us guys don't find ourselves valued by the people we most desire. The giving mindset only makes sense if you have what people love in the first place.
[–]perkal8tor 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
But the thing is you shouldn’t need anything from anyone else. The question fueling all this is “Do you love yourself?” When you internally get to a point where you don’t need a woman in your life in order to be happy, that’s the day you’ll find the outcome you want. When you don’t love yourself, you feel you “need” a woman to fill that void. When you do love yourself you simply “want” to share it. See the difference there “need” vs “want”?
Rejection happens to all of us! Of course it’s disappointing when our romantic interests aren’t reciprocated but if you love yourself you always have a place within your heart to come home to. So be kind and gentle with yourself and do the internal work necessary to heal the wounds of self-doubt. Feel free to PM me if you have any questions always happy to help.
[–]vardarac 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I can't "heal the wounds of self-doubt" if I'm giving myself fresh reasons to self-doubt all the time. I can't accept myself so long as I continue to be awkward and get in the way of what I want. I would rather die than accept any less than what I think I could bring into my life if I could just fix this fucking flaw.
That is how deep and how long this frustration runs. I'm old as shit. I should have this figured out by now.
Anyway, you come off as a really chill person. Thanks for the reply.
[–]perkal8tor 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I feel your frustration bro! It’s hard work! You will find your way. It’s just the natural path of life.
There’s no dichotomy. No good or bad outcome. There’s only that which is loved and that which is longing for love. So ask what needs love in your life? Hope this helps brother! Much love!
[–]IINoobSlayerII 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You said that perfectly my man
[–]NastyMonkeyKing 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Of course this is highly upvoted
[–]Ambitious-Ice2357 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
You must be a woman.
[–]NastyMonkeyKing 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Nope. A guy in a relationship that sees girls as humans not just moving targets to stick your dick in
[–]Ambitious-Ice2357 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That’s great
[–]getyadoughup 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lmao this is sad asf. So you just made her day, gave her an ego boost while you walk away with an L. I’m just tryna fuck
[–]Candyboi97 -4 points-3 points-2 points 4 years ago (22 children) | Copy Link
I don't agree with you, i don't see why the person who approaches actually wins something, and yeah there's the gain in experience (which is not satisfying if it is in this context of rejection) whereas the person who got approached will remember it especially if the said person does not receive this kind of attention. In my opinion this is not a win/win situation that's why i was fed up with cold approaches and i ultimately gave up temporary.
Maybe i'm just too pessimistic but the approached person seems to be in a better situation than the person who did the approach.
[–]matjas1881 4 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
As a business owner who had to go through the nerve racking process of learning business door knocking sales, and now a person who is trying to learn approaching... If you don't feel elated and feel pride from making each approach you arent giving yourself credit. You should be LEARNING from each approach. Most interactions should help you, in business and in approaching. If you feel pain from getting rejected, you may have to reassess how you perceive your goals
[–]Candyboi97 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes you're right i never give myself credits for thing that i juge normal for others. I am working on that.
And i'm learning from each approach i did in the past, and still, i don't feel satisfied by all of that. I won't stop because i want to try again and again i like to talk to girls actually, i accept that i will be rejected but it's not something that i will try to appreciate in a strange far fetched way.
I will learn from it, the more i tried the more i felt okay with it at some point but i don't feel that it is positive for me i just learn to keep going with new strategies and that's it.
And do you have any tips for reassessing your goals? Did you have to do it in the past? And how did you manage to do it?
[–]S_Writer29 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I can only speak for myself. Here is what I gain: 1) No regret that I didn't try or lose an opportunity 2) Experience improving my social skills and watching the results improve over time 3) Feels good to make someone else feel good 4) It's empowering to be the man, the approacher, who takes chances and pursues any intriguing woman who catches his eye. 5) Adrenaline rush
[–]Shadow__Account 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
You feel in touch with your manliness and you feel you just went for what you want from life which translates to all areas in life, I rarely feel as good as I do after an approach when I pushed myself through my fear. Stop being a negative bitch.
[–]Candyboi97 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
This is the perfect exemple of "if it works for me then it will work for everyone, stop making excuses".
It's good for you but i don't feel any better after cold approaching women, i don't feel bad in fact but this isn't a satisfying process in my opinion.
[–]Shadow__Account -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Try approaching men, maybe that is the thing for you
[–]Candyboi97 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
If you run out of things to say, just don't say anything next time ;)
[–]Shadow__Account -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
You are either a sociopath, very out of touch with your feelings or gay and that’s fine. But there is literally no one (else) that when they go for what they want in life doesn’t have feelings that come with the act of taking action.
[–]Candyboi97 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I don't know if i'm a sociopath but i am certainly not gay just because talking to random girls isn't the most sensational thing i've ever done. Because talking to guy isn't more satisfying.
And just because a random on Reddit says so? Generally when you have to repeat something with your end goal in mind you don't always have this special motivational feelings or the satisfaction. Sometimes it is satisfying, sometimes it is annoying, sometimes it's just "boring" you don't get your feeling involved in what you do you just do it because that's the process to reach your goal you have ups and downs and sometime(or often) you just do your routine.
If you want to have something you can't normally get you have to adopt the habits that will get you there. And those new habits just become... habits. Do you always get feelings with all of your habits(cleaning, flossing, studying, dressing)? I don't think so, you just do it. With time you don't think much about any if that.
That's my point.
It's quite the same thing with cold approaches it take so much tries to not get rejected and in this context of rejection it's just not satisfying if you don't try to wrap you head around it to make it look inspiring to not get what you want at all.
If that's your thing to push through this "fear" if interacting with girl(who are humans just like you, or i hope so) go ahead, me when i want to talk to a girl i just go if i don't, i don't that's it...
[–]Shadow__Account 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
If you felt Nothing you wouldn’t be talking about rejection, you’d just play the numbers game and do endless approaches until you get what you want.
I am talking about rejection because that's what the "no thanks" is.
I meant that like every habits you adopt the feelings associated with them attenuate over time.
Rejection stings at the beginning but it's almost nothing when you do it frequently and even less when you grind.
And that's what i'm aiming to do, approaching every day if i feel like it but in parallel getting more friends to have a good social network since i'll leave my country soon.
[–]Blackgod_Kurokami 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You are correct this is mad cope lmao gotta appreciate the way they’ve twisted it into being positive though
I'm satisfied to not be the only one who sees that !
[–]VDKay 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Even if it was a lose/lose, I loose more if I don't approach at all
But you don't lose ANYTHING lmao, even if you don't do it every time you get to approach other girls and even try again next time, what do you actually lose uh? Tell me !
[–]Proper-Rub6270 -5 points-4 points-3 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
They are just coping. Normal people feel bad after being rejected. It is normal human behaviour and no sane person will do it over and over again. You can read plenty of stories of guys who thought they were attractive, then they started cold approaching, got rejected plenty of times and got depressed. There is no virtue in being rejected, you must be psycho to think there is.
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]ChutiyaChutney420 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Not a psycho, what you said is right, feeling good by making others feel good isn't psychotic lol
[+]Proper-Rub6270 -6 points-5 points-4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
No, you don't have to be rejected left and right to be successful. You just fetishize rejection.
[–]Blackgod_Kurokami 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Was gonna comment something similar lmao though gotta appreciate the way they turned it positive from a certain point of view
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
This post is cringy af
Ask your female friends to show you what their DMs look like. The literal last thing they want or need is more validation from random guys.
ESPECIALLY true for night game.
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points-1 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If you're not getting results, it's not a win for you.
The last thing I want to do in any interaction is boost the ego of some random hottie.
This isn't a great reframe, man
[–]frenchiveruti -2 points-1 points0 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
*If she's not insanely inbedded with extreme feminist ideology.
[–]TooMuchJibberish -5 points-4 points-3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
9 times out of 10 you just brightened this woman's day.
Lol not really
This woman is not going to be bothered. She is going to be flattered.
Lol nooot really. Especially if the guy isn't attractive
And you walk away with more experience, courage, and pride.
I agree with the experience and courage part, in reality it's can be a win / loss depending on the guys looks.
[–]HowToStud 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Facts! Everyone loves a well spoken confident approach. They don’t have to love you, just respect you.
[–]MrValentine___ 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Cold approach is very very rare in India, this post makes me think its time to change that.
r/Indian_seduction
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[–]PurpleCookie_Og 52 points53 points54 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]loofyd 66 points67 points68 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]AK1010 45 points46 points47 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]zeliew 14 points15 points16 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]No-Seaweed [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]zeliew 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Ambitious-Ice2357 74 points75 points76 points (12 children) | Copy Link
[–]Dumweight 23 points24 points25 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TheBroMagnon 16 points17 points18 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]perkal8tor 14 points15 points16 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]vardarac 3 points4 points5 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]perkal8tor 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]vardarac 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]perkal8tor 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]IINoobSlayerII 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]NastyMonkeyKing 2 points3 points4 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Ambitious-Ice2357 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]NastyMonkeyKing 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Ambitious-Ice2357 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]getyadoughup 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Candyboi97 -4 points-3 points-2 points (22 children) | Copy Link
[–]matjas1881 [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Candyboi97 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]S_Writer29 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Shadow__Account 2 points3 points4 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]Candyboi97 -1 points0 points1 point (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]Shadow__Account -1 points0 points1 point (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]Candyboi97 -1 points0 points1 point (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Shadow__Account -1 points0 points1 point (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Candyboi97 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Shadow__Account 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Candyboi97 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Blackgod_Kurokami 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Candyboi97 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]VDKay 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Candyboi97 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Proper-Rub6270 -5 points-4 points-3 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]ChutiyaChutney420 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+]Proper-Rub6270 -6 points-5 points-4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Blackgod_Kurokami 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points-1 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]frenchiveruti -2 points-1 points0 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TooMuchJibberish -5 points-4 points-3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]HowToStud 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MrValentine___ 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link