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RSNK10 · 2022-04-04T16:11:30+00:00

You gotta find balance. If you’re always waiting for the perfect moment in your life to “start dating” you’re going to be waiting a while.

c4rdc0llector11 · 2022-04-04T16:30:40+00:00

been there done that, had all these feelings about wanting to ready myself before this and that and the truth is whenever that time has elapsed, you're truly never where you wanted to be or envisioned in the first place. then you prolong the time once again. it's like an endless cycle. definitely work on all areas on your life as you go, because you'll look back at many opportunities missed.

Neo-Rio · 2022-04-05T01:47:35+00:00

I think you probably just need a holiday. After COVID I think everyone is going to need one. This social isolation BS has mentally screwed up a lot of people.

If you're having little to no success in your surroundings, go to where you're more appreciated. If you're living out in Bumhole Idaho you're never going to meet anyone - at least not to the volume you need to properly calibrate your social skills. Additionally you will probably burn through the entire population or gain a reputation. In a big city, you don't have that problem. Especially if you park your residence right near major traffic areas where women are likely to traffic through.

The most valuable thing you have in life in TIME. Money doesn't really factor into it (although it can give you freedom and hence more time doing what you want). But as far as attracting women is concerned (at least that ones who will want you for you) it does not help at all.

The time in my life when I had the most success with women was when I was single, living like a poor person, and renting a tiny hole in the wall apartment. When women are good-to-go, they will be OK doing it with you in bathrooms, lobbies, cupboards, etc. or one mattress hole-in-the-wall apartments with shared amenities.

CocoBabeNYC · 2022-04-04T16:02:41+00:00

Really bad strategy.

Vigeto619 · 2022-04-04T16:09:53+00:00

Yeah no need to wait. If you were just a torso and no head some girls would still date you.

dametime223 · 2022-04-04T23:09:08+00:00

You won't magically become better with women when you reach some point in your career or fitness. Dating/social skills are a muscle, and you should practice it alongside with improving yourself.

FlatDistance5 · 2022-04-04T16:45:45+00:00

I’m currently building my business been doing 20k revenue 3-5k profit monthly and starting to scale quickly should be 10-15k prof. 30-50k rev end of the year and I also DoorDash/Ubereats. If I could do it all over again I would would’ve finished my degree right out of high school. Honestly I was going somewhere with that first part but lost track and now don’t want to erase it, anywho.

I too say from time to time when I get my money better and a six-pack I’ll go approach. I’ve had my struggles with dysmorphia, I’m 5’11 and I want(ed) to be 6’4, my former coworkers were 6’2-6’5 one 6’7 and they were pulling the baddest women at my job just by being present, the one that hit me the most was a new 5’1 nerdy chick with glasses and an extreme coke bottle shape, and a young single mom crazy body with a live in bf, tried talking to both, but they both started congregating to the 6’7 who had a pack of women under him already, and the 6’4 guy who promptly started fucking the single mom with the live in bf. I was jealous and it fucked with me up thought it was all height

But I realized, would me getting limb surgery really make a difference? Maybe? I’m a black guy into black women and black women love tall black men. Or could I hit the gym ‘harder than last time’ and work on my body maybe put in some inserts in my shoes make me a little taller. Maybe work on my hobbies to make me more conversational (I still have no extra hobbies lol) but the point is did I do everything I could to maximize what I have and just put myself out there the answer is no.

You have a business…. Would it be hard for you to take 2 weeks vacay and just work on building it up. And seeing if it’s worth pursuing full-time. If you have a degree you always have the ability to get another job at almost anytime you want. There are a ton of jobs you can do from home. If you sit and think about it you have plenty of avenues. That’s the way to free up time.

Not sure how to answer so I would say this you are completely right. If you keep this mindset of pushing off dating until the time is right the time will never be right. So if I were you I would change thing. Start cold approaching when out and about. Use the ability to conversate as your weapon.. while your cold approaching work on getting your body to such an insane level that you stand out when on dating apps and in person. Get your fashion on point.

I say you can both get your shit together and have an optimal dating life but that also depends on where you are. If you’re a fat Ass working at burger king than no, take a year or two figure shit out, while working out consistently. But where you are sounds like you just need to cold approach more, build up your fashion, workout harder and maybe get a stay at home job that allows you to be more flexible with your time.

I don’t think I was helpful in this post lol but this is the two sources I recommend the most John Anthony lifestyle, dudes don’t like him. But I personally use his shit and I’ve gotten a lot of dates from it. And playing with fire for texting.

Not saying height doesn’t matter either. If your shorter the rest of you absolutely have to be on point, look at short dudes such as fitxfearless hes 5’6 has to put on Ass load of muscle and get really fashionable.

If you can do both do both.

Good luck I hope I tiny bit helpful

PainDevourer · 2022-04-04T17:13:00+00:00

I found this very helpful regarding the texting:

https://archive.ph/572sI

As others already said, don’t wait any longer, now is the time!

henry-bacon · 2022-04-05T01:56:35+00:00

I'm waiting as well. I want my own place plus my own car before I start dating.

I'm 24, with housing costs as they are, I'll probably be in my early-mid 30s before I start dating LOL

lights6969 · 2022-04-05T03:03:29+00:00

literally what I'm doing right now. currently almost done with school, braces almost done, been hitting the gym more often. my plan will come into fruition soon

putcoolusernamehere · 2022-04-04T17:18:08+00:00

Yes I am. I realized a couple weeks ago that cold approach and OLD was doing more harm to my mental health than I could handle, so I decided to massively scale back on it (I still want to occasionally get out there and cold approach, but I view it as more for fun than expecting any results out of it.

But for me, I have a lot more work to do on myself than the average person. I'm very obese, my career is falling greatly short of my potential, and I have some persistent mental health issues (anxiety/depression). I have very specific criteria in place for when I'll turn my focus to dating again, which include reaching a certain weight, getting a certain job, and reaching a certain stage in my mental health treatment. Could be anywhere from 8 months to a year and a half. I think this is the right move for me, but in general I think you have to be in a really shitty spot in life to put your whole dating life on hold to focus fully on self-improvement. 9 guys out of 10 won't be in as bad a situation as I am and shouldn't take such a drastic measure.

Difficult_Ad_8299 · 2022-04-04T18:33:42+00:00

Read my field report - I’m in the same situation as you although living it completely differently. It might give you idea on how to build a new social circle whilst alone

phillypiston · 2022-04-05T05:52:31+00:00

There is no better time than right now. It's ok to be scared of rejection but those who are successful in life (in all areas) overcome their fears.

It only gets harder as you get older. Unless one wants to be Hugh Hefner forever playing with his harem of 18-24 young girls, you are going to want a serious relationship with a grown woman. And as THEY get older, they grow less tolerant of games and are looking for signs of maturity in finances, experience, and carry baggage from prior relationships.

Take your lumps early for being teased for trying for a kiss in HS, dealing with rejection in college, a broken engagement early in your career, etc. The feeling will not change but your character will grow. Musicians and dancers develop calluses on their hands and feet from practicing to develop their talent over extended periods of time; there is no shortcut.

A woman can tear a BOY to shreds in a second. They can only wound a MAN but wounds heal.

EmbodyCompetence · 2022-04-05T05:59:10+00:00

"I say never be complete, I say stop being perfect, I say let... lets evolve, let the chips fall where they may."

cronasminate · 2022-04-05T07:48:41+00:00

Damn bruh, I have no dating problems but I'm trying to build a business because I'm tired of feeling like a typical fuck boy with no direction in life other than doing fun shit but I keep getting sidetracked by friends and the girls I'm dating. I think the key is having a balance. Too much of one thing is bad. I personally just need to get a business going so I can travel around meeting people while getting rich in the process.

SYNDIFATE · 2022-04-05T08:14:28+00:00

Its not about focusing on one thing then after it succeed do another thing. Its all about prioritizing. What do you prioritize more , your financial or woman?

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	57
Comments	27
Date	April 4, 2022 3:47 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/tw59do/anyone_else_waiting_to_get_their_shit_together/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1262919 https://theredarchive.com/post/1262919

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