I haven’t been on a date in 12 years and have no friends

Zebrahead033 · 2022-03-27T00:28:20+00:00

I would try the hobbies route. Something physical. Hiking, swimming, martial arts.

As far as dating goes, you can try hiring a matchmaker. Not saying they will get you married but they will get you a date.

Seems like your biggest obstacle is social anxiety. The only way to improve that is to get out there and be social.

artseesloth · 2022-03-27T06:59:06+00:00

Yo bro, dont give up, its ok to feel alone, i do too, i was seriously planning to do something similar to what you plan to do, but i got a sign

Here> ☣ This is your sign,

Now ill give you a few reasons why you should keep fighting:

1) people with less than you still get ladies, so its not impossible to find a date, maybe try something new? Like cold approach? New cologne? New clothes?

2) male friends are mostly leeches and pests anyway, they are doing you a favor by not replying

3) you are over 6ft, with a good job, you came too far to just quit

4) the new Jurassic world comes out in june and you shouldn't miss it, it looks like its gonne be awesome

5) have you tried cannabis? 🤔

6) if you are set on self destruction then do some good deeds for people in need before you go, so you leave the world with a positive impact and fond memories

7) why not stick around to see how one piece ends? lol

That_Ad4734 · 2022-03-27T04:41:34+00:00

I recently relocated for a new job. For about a month or two I had no friends, people at work were al twice my age so I had no one to talk to since we had nothing in common.

Guess what? I joined a rock climbing gym and now I’ve started to make friends. The first few weeks were awkward because I didn’t fit in, I was the loner who was climbing alone. Eventually, after seeing me daily for a few weeks they came up and talked to me and now I know the best rock climbers in the gym.

Why am I telling you this? I have social anxiety too. I forced myself to join a gym and talk to people. Now I have friends. Only took me about 2 months to make a new friend group after a total life altering relocation.

SlabbedSack · 2022-03-27T01:29:12+00:00

Dude, if your job makes you relocate, that is a fucking fresh start.

Enjoy your own company. Walk by that bridge every day and tell it to fuck off. You're letting yourself beat yourself right now. You already have the good job in place and that makes everything else a lot easier.

Just pick a place and fucking start. It won't happen overnight and fuck sometimes it won't happen in a year. But 12 years of nothing... you have to look at yourself and make changes. Nobody said it would be easy.

You got this. Tell yourself to go fuck yourself, you're better than this.

Erbium-Oxide · 2022-03-27T00:44:12+00:00

Not counting rom-coms with female friends, I haven’t been on a date in almost 20.

java5head · 2022-03-27T09:14:11+00:00

I would recommend getting in shape, hit the gym and start eating healty. Also start small. Talk to cashier, store workers etc. They are paid to be friendly.

Do a smalltalk. Start with only hello and bye. Then throw in a little comment. Then a compliment probably. Do this with 3-5 people. Remember its ok to say hi and run away. It builds momentum.

If ur struggling with depression and not being consistent do the Jordan Petterson method. Like get up make the bed, brush your teeth and take a shower. First it will be hard (i assume that you are not doing this). Then throw in a 10 pages of a book. Small wins. This is similar with the upper method with the saying hi.

_526 · 2022-03-27T01:13:53+00:00

You just need to reinvent yourself. You're obviously not too happy with the man in the mirror. Start making some life changes, gradually. Just don't go all over board because then idiots will be all "DuRhUrr midlife crisis"

stanthemilkman88 · 2022-03-27T01:55:57+00:00

Are you in shape? Are you doing anything to be more social? Have you taken any action in improving your situation at all?

SnooMarzipans5277 · 2022-03-27T15:36:09+00:00

I moved to a new country knowing absolutely no one. Had to start from scratch. I feel that friends are usually made in settings where you see them often like a hobby, work,school or any other activity. I started Muay Thai a couple of months back. Initially it was just 'hi' and 'bye' and 'how are you doing' but over a period of 3 months I've gotten to know some amazing people and the classes massively helped with my confidence. For the dating part, I wouldn't give any advice as I'm struggling there as well. Still a long way to go but baby steps.

Impossible-Music-407 · 2022-03-27T17:04:08+00:00

Tbh with you dude I felt this post my ex cheated on me and all my friends chose her side and I was lonely for so long but try picking up a hobbie you’ll make a lot or new friends sign up for a Sunday ligue soccer team or try some other sports like boxing or basket ball you can always make friends through sports

Glad_p · 2022-03-27T22:04:59+00:00

I can relate because i have not been on a date for almost five years now, but i do go out and to meet new people(girls too). the truth is dont be hard on yourself nor compare yourself with others. I would say get to know what you are good at (with women and things). Just please dont take the option of the bridge.. So many women are out there looking for you, so dont beat yourself, if one or more date turns down or you get declined , do see it as a test, its always comes down to this "yes" or "no".. do you first, make you happy 🤗

NootropicLove · 2022-03-27T07:29:40+00:00

warm baths to think about things, nootropics? dm me and I can get you into a good server or just give u some info, it's kinda complicated but plz do

DB_Cooper_is_alive · 2022-03-27T14:10:34+00:00

Don't worry bruh you're not alone. My last date was in 2014 lol. But don't ever think life is not worth living. You gotta learn to live with yourself first, trust me. Get a hobby, it really helps. I've been learning to play guitar for abt 2 years nw and I'm getting pretty good at it. I've also been hitting the gym regularly for over 3 years, I'm fuckin ripped now. And I feel great! It really helps both physical and mental fitness. I focused completely on myself and I have a decent career that I can see myself growing professionally in. And you know what? I'm slowly losing my social anxiety! It's still kinda bad, a lot of times approach anxiety kicks in, but I do things like count to 3 and then just start walking to the person I want to talk to. Whatever helps you step out of your mental confort zone. I also moved cities because I wanted a change in environment, start fresh! And looks like you're just in the right position too, think of this as a new beginning!

Monopoly41 · 2022-03-27T00:09:01+00:00

If you have such a good job and zero social skills , simply pay some girls to hang out with you. It happens all the time .

Do you think those millionaires goes to clubs and try to approach girls ? Hell nah . They either pay cash to provide some $$ value to those girls life like paying rent , bills etc

appmanga · 2022-03-27T01:42:13+00:00

Before you jump, can I have your stuff?

Kieldro · 2022-03-27T01:56:12+00:00

go paleo
start lifting
join a jiujitsu school

Then-Recording6836 · 2022-03-27T02:16:07+00:00

Social life is entirely overrated unless you're a person that doesn't handle being alone often well. Many thrive with little social activity.

Friends will leave you hanging when you need them the most and Women can leave you much worse off than you started. Be grateful that you didn't get into a toxic relationship or accidentally have kids with that person.

I would handle the social anxiety first. Know that we all have social anxiety to a degree. You may find that some otc substance or prescription can eliminate this. Experiment with supplements and find a doc who will let you try different prescriptions. Also, do blood work and see if there is an imbalance with your hormones. That can be a major cause of social anxiety and depression.

And it really comes down to self image as well. You would be surprised how other people see you. They often have a much higher perception of you as opposed to how we feel about ourselves. Read some books on this subject. Once you make progress on these two issues I think you can easily begin approaching/attracting people and building the social life you want.

incognito3107 · 2022-03-27T06:13:03+00:00

I think you place too much value on such relations, sometimes you just don't need anybody around, especially got in such forceful way.

I guess you should firstly take care of your own physical and mental health. You don't need anyone to validate your value except yourself.

ProfessionalPie8852 · 2022-03-27T09:05:28+00:00

Jump on testosterone broski you wont regret it, it will save your life.

Ok_Macaron3002 · 2022-03-27T10:08:43+00:00

U just need to gain some confidence and things will take a turn. Theres ways to learn this

LegendaryPrabhpreet · 2022-03-27T10:15:58+00:00

Me neither

WhamHead · 2022-03-27T11:33:28+00:00

Have you told your therapist what you have written out here?

Xenonzess · 2022-03-27T12:06:34+00:00

you should be on r/suicidal

RSDAbhijeet · 2022-03-27T13:16:42+00:00

Bro.. contact Yadhuvir Singh from India. He's the best in social skills and helped 1500+ men like you in developing social skills and dating. His Instagram ID is:- iamtheyadhuvir . How do I know he's the best.. because I'm one of those 1500+ men

beta0209 · 2022-03-27T14:02:24+00:00

You should try volunteering, giving is very rewarding. Plus you will meet some people.

2022-03-27T14:21:32+00:00

Join martial arts and CrossFit gym

girlgurufordudes · 2022-03-27T16:46:55+00:00

Have you tried Bumble BFF?

BlancheCorbeau · 2022-03-27T19:13:25+00:00

When therapy doesn’t work, it’s like a date not working out… it’s just a bad match, not a bad idea.

Find a new therapist.

dropmeoffhere · 2022-03-27T19:59:45+00:00

You should quit your job and start bartending. It’s one the the funnest jobs Iv ever had and it’s much easier to make friends with coworkers than it is working in an office.

Affectionate-Bat-235 · 2022-03-29T22:15:09+00:00

Maybe get a hobby. Anything really, preferably something you like and want to put time into.

Title	I haven’t been on a date in 12 years and have no friends
Author	CulturalChemical8034
Upvotes	39
Comments	53
Date	March 27, 2022 12:04 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/tp81nl/i_havent_been_on_a_date_in_12_years_and_have_no/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-havent-been-on-a-date-in-12-years-and-have-no.1263613 https://theredarchive.com/post/1263613

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