Has anyone ever been absolutely destroyed by a relationship that only lasted a month or so and cannot bounce back?

Silver-Variation8903 · 2022-03-07T23:28:10+00:00

Don’t worry. Time will heal this.

And yes, it will, do not bullshit me saying it won’t. It will. Time heals all wounds.

She’s putting you through all this pain and you’re still looking for ways to glorify her. Wake up buddy, she’s not as good as you’re making her out to be. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, hit the gym, get your shit together and move on. Nearly 4 billion women on the planet, she ain’t 1 in 4 billion bro. The worst mistake a guy can do is dwell in his own delusion. She’s a girl like any other girl. You can do better, better for you. How can she be good for you if you’re in all this pain because of her? Cmon man wake the fuck up.

You likely got too attached. And girls HATE guys who are too attached. You loved her more than you love yourself, and that repulses women. That’s where you went wrong. In the future, love you first, then love women.

Seriously bro. She’s done. In the past. Leave her there. Move on and don’t give energy to the past.

It will take time. But it will happen. You will move on. You will be fine again.

throwerawayer2910 · 2022-03-07T21:43:46+00:00

Hey man do you think you feel this way only because she was out of your league?

Let’s say this girl was a 9/10 but tomorrow you meet a 7.5 or 8/10 with all the same qualities.. do you think you’d still not get over her?

lovethepho · 2022-03-07T22:19:28+00:00

Unfortunately yes

howdatingworks · 2022-03-08T02:10:43+00:00

Tough pill to swallow my dude, I feel for you. But the good news is we can diagnose the problem, fix what you did wrong, and set you up to have someone even better. I'll link below to more detailed articles to read up on this but first let me go over the three main issues that led you to this point: 1) moving too fast, 2) counterproductive mindset, and 3) not doing anything to fix it.

When a woman says things are moving too fast, it means you're calling, texting, and initiating too much contact. You're making yourself available 24/7 and trying to get her to spend more time with you than she's ready for. Always heed the 80-20 rule – she needs to initiate at least 80%, if not all, of the calls, texts, messages, and communications between you. This gives her space to wonder about you and for her feelings to increase without you smothering her with too much attention. It also sets her up to chase you and seek your validation (attractive) vs. you chasing her and seeking her approval (unattractive). Also keep the dates to once per week until she is contacting you multiple times per week to hang out. If she ever backs off, revert to once per week.
Your mindset sucks. Women see you the way you see yourself. If you believe she's out of your league, guess what – she is. If you believe you won't meet anyone else, you won't. When you tell yourself not to screw it up because she's perfect, it causes you to talk her out of liking you with your lack of confidence. Your attitude should be flipped – you know you're a catch, and you're not surprise a hot babe wants you, but how good is she for you – is she really what you're looking for? One month in, you really don't know a person. If it's going great, beautiful, but it takes two months for women to fall in love and a full three months before people let the mask come off and show you their real selves. Then you have the 6-12 month honeymoon period before you really get to see what you're working with once the infatuation fades. Once again you were in a hurry to lock her down and it caused you to smother her with your neediness and lack of confidence, which women find extremely unattractive.
Not taking action is your worst enemy. Pain can only move if you do. I'm not saying you need to force yourself to talk to women you don't want to talk to, but get busy doing things you like. Nail down that gym routine, eat a healthful diet, immerse yourself in your work, your hobbies, your free time with your best friends and close family members. In the process of having an active social and work life, you'll encounter other people, many of whom will be attractive women. The more you do, the less you think. Your actions will then shape your thoughts (positive action --> positive thoughts and beliefs about yourself) rather than your negative thoughts causing you not to take any action to care for and improve yourself.

Here are the resources you should be immersing yourself in to fix these problems:

https://www.howdatingworks.com/blog/how-to-be-attractive

https://www.howdatingworks.com/blog/how-to-meet-women

https://www.howdatingworks.com/blog/how-to-be-boyfriend-material

https://www.howdatingworks.com/blog/how-to-keep-her-interested

Oh and lastly, fuck the age thing. Women love older guys who are more experienced, sophisticated int heir dating skills, advanced in their careers, and generally calmer and more peaceful in life. 32 is a solid place to be as long as you believe it is.

NewspaperNo4764 · 2022-03-07T22:28:41+00:00

This will pass with time and it sucks now but that’s not what love is about. You aren’t supposed to obsess over someone. This sounds unhealthy and is for the best for both of y’all. You clearly don’t love yourself enough and she could sense that. Relationships are about building a life together and this sounds more like a lustful relationship. You are 32 and had the time to hang out almost everyday? Maybe you should start making yourself more attractive by not always being available and having a life. Wish you the best and know this will only improve your relationships in the future if you use it to grow.

Saxon2010 · 2022-03-08T01:58:31+00:00

You can’t rush the healing.

SirLoin74 · 2022-03-08T02:18:43+00:00

Been going through almost this same scenario for the past three weeks! Seriously. Dated a girl I think/thought was just amazing for about 3-4 weeks. Things were going great. Had great sex and she told me how much she liked me. Two days later she ended it saying she just didn’t feel anything. Really??? Earlier that week she was telling me how great I was and how much she liked me. It devastated me. Almost a month later and it still stings. The point is… I, and I suspect you, need to figure some things out about ourselves. Getting THAT invested into a relationship no matter how perfect a girl may seem just isn’t healthy. Life isn’t like a rom-com. Real life relationships require healthy boundaries and lots of self respect by both parties. My guess is that your girl and mine felt us becoming too heavily invested, perhaps even needy, in such a new relationship. We need to do some self care and learn some self love before finding “the one”. Otherwise this just might happen again.

shinymusic · 2022-03-08T04:38:29+00:00

Love is so crazy. Time will help. So will lifting. So will eating healthy. do as many friend group activities as possible. RIGHT before it becomes unbearable it will get better. I had no idea what healthy obsession/love/ego/longing was until it hit me. I was shocked that everyone goes through this crazy depression after a breakup at least once in life.

When you can finally breath again, when you go hours without thinking of her, when you still think of her sometimes but you don't feel like a full blown crackhead, you will be happy. When it finally comes a regular day will put a smile on your face. My heart goes out to you and wish you the best.

baddog992 · 2022-03-08T02:27:57+00:00

I had a crush I still think about and it has been over for about 20 years. That being said I still went out and had sex with other women after we broke up. Do not stew in your breakup. If anything my crush breaking up with me lit a fire under my ass. This was before tinder or dating apps. I became a social butterfly. Do not get in your own head. That will lead to nothing. Accept that you tried and it didn't work out. You can find someone else that wants to spend time with you. If it helps have yourself a good cry and afterwards get back into dating. Let her rejection of you light a fire inside of yourself.

millhows · 2022-03-08T02:48:13+00:00

I dated a women in 2016 for (3) months and, no bullshit, I was sad about it for a fucking year. I got over it, and was dating not long after but it sucked. You’ll get over yours before ya’ know it.

GoGo5230 · 2022-03-08T05:49:44+00:00

I feel you,

My relationship lasted 3 months and it was a dream but was done so fast. You are so young have a lot of time to meet new interesting people, and even when you feel you won't find anyone else there appears a person that fits you even better. Don't give up

ak00n · 2022-03-08T05:54:37+00:00

Delt with a similar situation last year, yes I was a mess, yes I will take time to get over her, but you will move on a start to see the flaws and time passes. Also when you do think about her you are thinking about the times that brought you joy. Just think you will find a partner who brings you more joy in the future and supports you. It will take time but move forward go out see your friends, enjoy your hobbies and one dya you will have a awesome chick and she will be fat and dating a dead beat ;)

freespirit1963TJ · 2022-03-07T22:55:03+00:00

First, you must've had a pretty easy, positive life to this point. Doesn't sound like you've had to deal with many hard knocks before. You have to accept that the relationship probably wasn't meant to be if it ended after a month. You have to be able to put what happened in perspective and move forward. I've been divorced twice and during the divorce itself there were times when I really questioned if I was going to make it, especially the woman I had kids with. You aren't alone in feeling that way, and there will probably be a day that you'll realize it was probably for the best.

quantumactual · 2022-03-08T02:02:20+00:00

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Gnostromo · 2022-03-08T05:57:43+00:00

You had great chemistry and now you're going through withdrawals. It sucks. Gotta immerse yourself into a project or video game to take your mind off it

KrimsonPepe · 2022-03-08T06:20:41+00:00

I been there it's true what they say time heals all wounds, could take a while. That said the best medicine is to rebound, keep it casual though so you don't end up hurting people. The sooner you are in another persons arm the faster you forget about this one, dangers include desensitizing yourself for long term relationships but kinda depends on your overall goals.

If you want to game and go through lots of chicks no problem. If you want to have a long term loving relationship this may hurt your ability to do that, but that said most women blast through men so easy even if you want a real long term thing lots of them don't/can't anymore so it's a gamble either way.

TLDR: Time will heal you no matter what, you will heal faster if you find another, do it too much you may have bonding issues later.

Selkie-Princess · 2022-03-08T06:33:40+00:00

The dangers in punching above your weight class. Doesn’t ever last and makes you feel like anything less isn’t enough.

Metapl3x · 2022-03-08T06:39:28+00:00

Time will heal you sure, but get busy bro. Hard to think about females when the world is out there for the taking. Get attached to being better than who you were yesterday, and not to the panties. You saying you can't focus or can't do "xyz" is a limitation itself, and you must destroy it. You have to. Good luck brother, headup.

GODDO101 · 2022-03-08T08:21:15+00:00

Man I was in a similar spot pretty recently so I totally get where your coming from. My best advice is to just give it time as that’s what helped me the most. Also learn from it and maybe try to not get as attached the next time.

aStonedPanda94 · 2022-03-08T17:24:39+00:00

It’s takes time. As most will say, work on yourself and go to the gym. Continue with hobbies or find new ones, and spend time with friends and family.

dontbanana · 2022-04-24T18:04:50+00:00

I’ve been in this exact situation. It sucks so bad. By far the worst pain I have ever felt in my life.

It honestly took me years to get fully over it but if I could go back and tell myself one thing it would be this: learn from this, don’t repeat the same mistake again and remember you got a girl of this quality once so you can do it again. Oh and don’t be afraid of therapy.

Years later I have a girlfriend that I think is even higher quality and our relationship is very real.

You are that guy but you had to learn this lesson first.

chappist · 2022-03-08T16:49:40+00:00

I feel your pain. I was head over heels for a women I hung out eith for about 2 weeks. Everything was great. I could see a future in both of us but things fell through. I'm wreck atm. But only time will heal. Keep your head up.

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