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[–]noonewonone 234 points235 points236 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Hey Sarah, I think you’re a really cool person and I apologize if this comes off as abrupt but I don’t think is is going to work and I really don’t want to waste your time. I wish you the best.
Hey Sarah,
I think you’re a really cool person and I apologize if this comes off as abrupt but I don’t think is is going to work and I really don’t want to waste your time. I wish you the best.
Or something like that.
[–]BackFlashy2939 25 points26 points27 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Probably the best move
[–]creative_i_am_not 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This, also you could be honest and tell her pictures don't look like her. Maybe she didn't know, maybe she did. Avoid her losing/making others lose time.
[–]kneeuhhhh 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Honestly, the best way to go
[–][deleted] 140 points141 points142 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
You’re not a dick for breaking it off with someone. Just tell her you’re not interested in the nicest way possible
[–][deleted] 76 points77 points78 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
"Hi , i am not interested in the nicest way possible."
[–]FaithInStrangers94 10 points11 points12 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
“you’re not interested in the nicest way possible”
Oh
[–]RinkyInky 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Hi not interested in the nicest way possible, I’m Dad
[–]theowawausyss 80 points81 points82 points 4 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link
Dude I’m having the same problem.. I’ve been trying for weeks.. but the girl is soo sweet I feel like an asshole
[–]mrstat88 35 points36 points37 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Bro, I know it sucks to hurt someone’s feelings, but you have to man up. Don’t lead her on. A man with abundance isn’t afraid to let her go
[–][deleted] 27 points28 points29 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Just introduce her to a new guy & bounce.
[–]awezed 32 points33 points34 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Hi, have you met Ted?
[–]JaikishanB 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yes he talks a lot. Ted Talks
[–]awezed 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I never thought I could hate someone and love them so much at the same time.
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Classic move
[–]FaithInStrangers94 17 points18 points19 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I usually make it about me.
“Hey Rachel :) look you seem like a genuinely lovely person, and I’ve enjoyed chatting but I’ll be honest I’ve had a bunch of unexpected things pop up recently (family and work issues) that have put me in the wrong headspace for dating. So I’m just focusing m on myself for a while, if you’d like I could message you when I’m feeling back on top if things, but otherwise best of luck x’
Usually they reply something like “hey, sorry to hear that. Yeah let me know if you’re feeling like it x’
And then it fades out
I know that’s not being completely truthful and they might see me on a dating app again, but I honestly think that’s better than saying “hey I’m not interested sorry” which always leaves me wondering what the hell I did
[–]kneeuhhhh 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Wouldn’t you feel more like an asshole if you continue to waste her time and yours ?
[–]theowawausyss 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Being friends isn’t a waste of time
[–]kneeuhhhh 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Never said friends are a waste of time
[–]theowawausyss 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
So I’m not wasting time.. just don’t wanna be friends
[–]Shadow__Account 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Tell her you really like her but as friends. That is literally the situation where friendzoning is for
Don’t wanna be friends just want to cut her off
[–]Shadow__Account 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
When a woman tells you she misses that spark and just wants to be friends, she doesn’t want to be friends either
I mean no one has ever told me that I’m trying to get out of a situation with a woman
[–]roakmamba 21 points22 points23 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is how I handled a situation like this last month. I was talking to multiple chicks,dated one and had a date set up with another one the following day. The first girl I was really attracted to and the second one I wasnt to as much. I texted her I met someone else that I really hit things off with and I don't think it's fair to her and me if we continue on with our date, best of luck. She never replied but I feel better not leading her on.
[–]poly_nerdy_panda 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
just be honest with her tell her you only want to fuck and have an FWB thing.. she what she says if she's down then go for it.. most chicks these days look different than photos maybe get her to dress up and put makeup on ? I lived with a "model" and her photos looked nothing like her IRL but guys still wanted her for some odd reason even if she was a toxic piece of shit
[–]jimsgympartyhouse 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You should meet her. She might surprise you.
[–]unicorntears13 30 points31 points32 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Please don’t listen to some of these tools who say to talk less and less. Be a man and just tell her you’re not really interested in taking this further. If you want to be honest about why then feel free to do so but it’s not really necessary unless she asks. There’s no reason to waste anyones time if you’re not interested. With the other option you’re just contributing to the toxic dating atmosphere that you are trying to avoid.
[–]WePlay2gtha 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This! 👐🏻👏🏻! THIS DOWN TO THE T. Just be 100% HONEST with her! Don't continue leading her on and slowing your roll slowly over time. Slowly pushing her away will make her think she's causing problems but your trying to fight to stay with her. It will degrade her, hurt her. She will feel less and less about herself. She will blame herself for YOUR actions. Honesty is the KEY to everything. Communication and honesty! Just tell her straight up. Don't continue calling her by her nicknames, that will make her think there is still hope. Shoot her down nicely and fast! Before you waste so much of her time, the longer you hold onto her, it hurts her more. It's so much easier for us women to snap back from something like this if you do it quick and painful like a band-aid instead of slow and steady like a loss of a parent to cancer....
[+][deleted] -42 points-41 points-40 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
A woman cant tell a man what being a man means. You don’t know what you’re talking about.
[–]boozeandbovver 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I downvoted it, disrespectfully. You fucking idiot, you have a woman giving you the answers to the test and you still wanna pop off with that misogynistic bullshit?
[–]GenMarFergus90 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
I downvoted this comment then upvoted so I can downvote it again. Respectfully.
[–]lickylicky_69 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I agree with this 1000%
[–]1DarkDD 13 points14 points15 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Remember. She posted unreal pictures, tell her that she is sweet but not really your type.
[–]j_tothemoon 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
only advice you need.
[–]Persephone1230 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Yes if ALL you're after is someone who looks good in video chat , this might be great advice.
[–]1DarkDD 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
No, it's called catfishing. it's not about being good-looking or sexy; she misrepresented who she was.
[–]Persephone1230 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
You can't possibly know that. Might also be that you've been watching too much MTV. The same person can look much different in different pictures taken in different contexts, lighting, scenery, color, camera, viewers mood, monitor or phone type and quality, etc etc etc. Personally I look horrible in most pictures and on almost all webcams but I'm often complimented on my appearance in person and am pursued often by men of many ages and walks of life. I'm not rich, powerful or famous, but I also don't think it's because they just feel sorry for me.
If she was catfishing and misrepresenting herself wouldn't she be avoiding appearing on webcam?
[–]1DarkDD 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I'm not sure how much catfishing girls get compared to guys, I once met a flight attendent on line, her pictures where great and she wanted to meet for dinner right away, since I had to drive 45 minutes to see her, told her to pick a resturant, she picked one of those exclusive resturants with set menu and I was fine, I go there, she was inside and waved at me, she was 4 times the size in her pictures (nothing wrong with that but not my type), I didn't want to hurt her feeling and sat down politely and during dinner she kinda admitted that she always wanted to try this resturant and wanted someone to pay for it, it was $600 for two people, that's cat fishing.
[–]Persephone1230 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Agree. That IS catfishing, as was the guy who posted pics of someone of a different race, was 30.years younger and two hundred pounds lighter. But someone who maybe doesn't look like her pictures on a webcam is significantly different. I have pictures of my own kids that don't look like they do on webcam OR in real life, and I mean that I wouldnt recognize them from that picture alone! That is not catfishing. If he doesnt that he's been stringing along for a while and says he had a great connection with, because he doesn't like how she looks on a web cam, fine. But he's never met her, so it's unfair to insist she's catfishing without even meeting her for coffee or whatever. It's his right to be shallow and callous, and the girl will be luck to have missed the red flag parade, but it's just plain a jerk move to not own it.
[–]t1mmyturn3r111 10 points11 points12 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If the roles were reversed she’d probably ghost you or say she changed her mind without having to give an explanation. Say some bullshit about how some shit came up and you need to focus on yourself, then just don’t ever talk to her again. You don’t owe anybody anything let alone an explanation.
[–]BackFlashy2939 14 points15 points16 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
You have to be straight up honest, not a dick, but honest. You were intrigued by the pictures she shown, but she catfished you. You're going to hurt yourself more than her tbh. Just let her know how you honestly feel about the situation. I'm pretty sure she knows that she doesn't look like the pics she sent you anyways. It's her fault tbh, just don't be a dick about it.
[–]KneeJamal 15 points16 points17 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Can’t tell if this is a joke. Just in case. Don’t do this :)
[–]BackFlashy2939 -4 points-3 points-2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Not a joke bro
[–]Visualize_ 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I'm pretty sure the way you are suggesting implies being a dick. Like this pretty much boils down to you telling her "its your fault I'm not into you".
[–]BackFlashy2939 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Precisely, whose else fault is it?
[–]TheHungryRabbit 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Every time i match a girl on tinder and meet 99% of the time they doesn’t look even close to the pictures, I always give them a chance if we click then I can look over that, but if not then I just ghost them, sure it hurts for them or even for me but sometimes if you say that you are not interested they start to ask what they did wrong, why you don’t like them etc.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Tell her you didn’t feel the connection over the video call. What was a lot less sexy about her?
“I think you’re very nice, we should just be friends”. If girls use it, I don’t see why guys shouldn’t.
[–]monkey36937 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Or tell her the truth, that you don't find her physical appealing. Instead of running around looking for excuses.
[–]vin9889 -5 points-4 points-3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Just get some head and never have sex…
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
kek
[+][deleted] -16 points-15 points-14 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Guys who are downvoting people who are telling OP to do a slow fade get ZERO pussy and it shows.
The risks with an outright rejection range from the girl harming herself, you or even going down the “Me Too” movement route. You careless idiots are the same guys who hesitate to approach women because you’re afraid of being accused of sexual harassment.
NEVER outright reject a woman who has a very high interest in you. Just slowly engage her less & make things less sexual in your conversations and more platonic. At least then you and her can still be friends afterwards.
[–][deleted] 8 points9 points10 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
You aren't going to get Me Too'd for ghosting/rejecting a girl on online dating lmao
[+][deleted] -12 points-11 points-10 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I’ve seen it happen, where a guy got a girl’s number off twitter. They facetimed and were talking for a while. They then met up for a date, the guy didnt like what he saw, so he told her then and there “im just not feeling it & i dont wanna waste your time”. They never even had sex, and a few days later she takes to twitter calling him a narcissist and claiming he assaulted her on the date.
What is it with so many guys in this sub being such naive chumps. Is it just an age thing? Like are all y’all 15-20 years old or something… because if thats the case it makes sense, you guys have nothing of value except your penis and brain, so women aren’t that offended when you reject them.
But when you’re late 20s, attractive in shape and somewhat visibly affluent guy, rejecting girls in as EXTREME sport and you have everything to lose and women who go after you feel they do too.
[–]Asleep-Somewhere9934 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is seriously one of the dumbest things I've read all day. Not every woman is out there to "get you" same as not every man is out there to mess you up if you're a woman. This is such a toxic outlook on life.
You might have met some women who do that but to outright assume every woman does stupid shit like that is really immature.
[–]HonorificUserAccount 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It sounds as if you have a really hard time setting boundaries.
Not everyone's out to hurt you!
[–]icantfigureredditout 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is so toxic. Why waste both of your times? As long as you’re not a dick, rejecting a woman isn’t difficult.
A woman isn’t going to have high interest in you unless you acted a part (see: don’t be a dick). Don’t “run game” to make someone interested in you if you’re not even sure that you like them yet.
[+]carrotverse -11 points-10 points-9 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Don’t break up just talk to her less and less.
[+]gnome_alone32 -7 points-6 points-5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Fade away
[–]AlmostEasy89 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
She created this problem for herself, not you.
[–]gangweedsavedme -5 points-4 points-3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well, you should have brought it up the instant you noticed it. But now you should just ghost.
[–]Fun_Sun_97 -3 points-2 points-1 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
just say u r no longer into dating then carry on dating, if she finds out asks why tell her u didnt want to hurt her feelings over her being a big fat whale
[–]mattgk39 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Is it just the angles she took the pictures at? Or are they obviously deceitful? If she looks nothing like her pictures (e.g. way fatter) than I think it’s reasonable to point that out. It’s completely unfair to make a dating profile and post pictures that are essentially lies about what you look like.
[–]Scylla34 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You should better see the girl once or twice. After seeing face to face, then she will always busy and said you got no time for her. After a week without messaging, she will eventually ask to break up with ya. She will said you guys should seeing someone else. No worries. That what my a year in phone relationship with ex-girlfriend did this to me. We only been dating twice.
[–]Jamesdoink 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'll take care of her 🤣🤷🏻🤦
[–]Lucy-boy 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I think you should at least meet her once before braking it
[–]BrzR_R 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
So your talking to someone you like ready to get jiggy with and bail at the last moment because she doesnt look as sexy on a videochatscreen as in her posed foto's that most people take 1000 of before they post. Could be that you like her in person? Why bail at the last moment and at least be a man and tell her to her face if it doesnt work out but you can always gain a friend especially is you have similar interests (and she probably has hot friends). Honesty does work if your sincere
[–]teinimon 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
We've been talking for too long for me to ghost.
Hmm you're being a dick right now for thinking it is ok to ghost someone even when you haven't been talking for long
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
When I was younger I felt really guilty when I wanted to break up with a girl and because of that I often pushed it off for too long. Once, after I broke up with someone I had only been seeing for like two weeks, her best friend called me and berated me for being an inconsiderate bastard and how I had hurt her friend drastically. I was too inexperienced then to just hang up on her and/or tell her never to contact me again, so I just politely explained that I wasn’t feeling it and didn’t mean to hurt her, but fortunately I held my ground. I did feel really bad though.
Now even though I’m far more experienced, I still dread breaking up, and in those situations, I often find myself hoping the girl breaks up with me.
My advice, assuming that the girl did not purposely deceive you: Break it off as soon as possible. The longer you wait, the deeper her feelings might get and the more it will hurt her. Be as polite as possible, but don’t give false hope. Feel free to make up an excuse to soften the blow (say you rekindled with an ex rather than say that you actually don’t find her attractive), but don’t leave room in that excuse for her to hope. Expect that she will be hurt, but this has not gone on very long and she’ll get over it quickly. If she gets irrationally angry and or demanding, you are under no obligation to answer her questions, meet her demands, or feel bad in any way.
[–]Persephone1230 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Not everyone looks great on video. Some people look better in pictures than they do in person, some people look much worse or not like themselves at all. Two of the most gorgeous men I know look like trolls on video. In my opinion you are setting yourself up for a life time of shallowness by basing your entire perception on a video call or picture.
[–]thedrugsinyourveins 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
i know this probably the bad way to do it but I usually slowly ghost. Making up excuses like I was really busy and setting up dates only to cancel a day before. Eventually she gets pissed off and leaves - I feel like less of an asshole this way
[–]oussamabouaoued 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
just tell her you have some shit goin on and you dont think you're ready yet for dating.... suggest to stay friends, if they use it we should do it too
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[–]noonewonone 234 points235 points236 points (3 children) | Copy Link
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[–][deleted] 140 points141 points142 points (3 children) | Copy Link
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[–]awezed 32 points33 points34 points (2 children) | Copy Link
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