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paddywacknack · 2022-01-17T18:31:12+00:00

How is taking care of your physical health and exploring new things in life rhe equivalent of changing everything about yourself?

People come here because they arent getting the results they want. So yes they will have to change some things.

fondlemysausage · 2022-01-17T18:25:28+00:00

The problem is most guys come here and want the default advice because they already dislike who they really are. How can you find someone to like you for you when YOU don't like yourself?

Using the "like me for who I am" line is an excuse, in my opinion. I refuse to believe the majority of men are natural introverted simps easily manipulated by women. They just don't know where to start.

RProgrammerMan · 2022-01-17T19:26:29+00:00

Maybe the disagreement comes from having a different goal in mind. If it’s just to bang, then making those kind of changes will probably bring results or improve your numbers. If it’s to find a relationship, you can make all those changes and still not meet someone that’s actually compatible. Since the number of people you’re compatible with for a long term relationship is very small, there’s a lot of luck involved.

JacobMoogberg69 · 2022-01-17T18:38:45+00:00

The default advice should be "You are good enough as you are". Your problem is that you believe you have a problem and that's what makes it real to you.

CompetitionFair7686 · 2022-01-17T19:07:33+00:00

If you seek advice you are seeking to change things about yourself, whether your appearance or your behaviour. If you don’t want to change then asking for advice is illogical. It would be summed up as, just be yourself.

But clearly being yourself isn’t good advice, because the reason people seek advice is because they tried being as they are and they failed.

There is a saying that goes: “Stupidity is doing the same things over and over, and expecting different results”. If you have been yourself for 30 years, and still no success maybe there is something you need to change or improve. You could keep trying for being just as you are for another 30 years of failure but why would you?

A better advice would be; Be the best version of yourself.

If you are an insecure person, probably that’s something you should change, as it’s being scientifically proven that someone’s insecurity causes difficulty when it comes to dating, to simply say that you should continue being insecure and avoid changing that aspect of yourself, is counterproductive.

Fate-in-haze · 2022-01-17T19:33:17+00:00

I suggest you read a book called Models: Attract women through honesty by Mark Manson, also read his blog at markmanson.net he teaches you how to attract women by being the best most authentic version of yourself.

Dianabayyebii · 2022-01-17T19:43:17+00:00

I get what you are saying. You feel outwardly that you are doing the right things. And that may be very much the truth. I think if that’s the case, then you are looking for something above this sub. I totally get it. Maybe some life coaching would help. The act of seduction is not a one size fit all type of thing and I think a lot of advice on here is standard. Sometimes it takes a little more than that and that’s cool too.

cplus4 · 2022-01-17T21:10:24+00:00

They’re not wrong, but as a very overweight old guy (late 40s) with graying hair, I do pretty well. I can carry on a conversation and I don’t mind going out on my own. I also give no fucks when it comes to talking to women. I used to be shy, introverted and nerdy. But after my divorce I just don’t give a fuck anymore and that kind of confidence is appealing to women. But the women aren’t going to come to you, you have to do some work too.

AngeloMacon · 2022-01-17T22:11:48+00:00

It's the default advice because it's good advice for 100% of dudes. I mean, no matter how honest a poster is here we don't fully know their situation. So it's gets hard or even questionable to offer more nuanced advice at times.

For the guys with some serious mental, emotional, social or self esteem issues, there is nothing that random people on reddit that are going to offer up that will fix the problem. This place is more for kicking Average Joe in the ass so that he does a little better with the opposite sex.

byteseed · 2022-01-18T00:19:45+00:00

OP, default advice here, when you are already constantly improving yourself, is to start approaching regularly. Improving yourself will not bring results alone(unless you become really famous and rich), but combined with the regular cold approach, it makes wonders.

2022-01-17T20:26:34+00:00

When I think about things the best way to seduce is by doing your own thing and concentrating on something else.

In the past, I’ve found that by focusing on something else, for some strange reason I have women approach me when I’m in that mindset. That’s just me though.

thelambofdeth · 2022-01-17T18:41:22+00:00

People just spew the same tired false platitudes and regurgitate the same hollow rhetoric. "Work on yourself", "put yourself outhere" "they'll come when you least expect it", "groom, get in shape and get a better wardrobe", "jUsT bE cOnFiDeNt", etc.

Everyone who gives "advice" just assume you're a fat, grotesque socially inept slob who never leaves the house. For all the people who actually have worked on themselves extensively and things haven't changed, they just move the goal post. Somehow this issue is still all your fault, then they just brag about how women just come to them or things work out for them even though they're a hunchback leper in a wheelchair with one eye or whatever.

People here don't give real advice. They just seek to tell you why you're wrong, brag and reaffirm themselves.

TheLegendofMikeHawk · 2022-01-17T22:37:44+00:00

I'd say thats more of the base-line when people are getting started. Evolving past that, things I recommend focusing on are; social strategy, gaining experience, and studying more material (in Feild examinations, different methods, etc)

Calamity__Bane · 2022-01-18T00:28:03+00:00

I also dont like the implication that if you cant find someone, you are obviously just doing everything wrong and should change everything about yourself.

Most likely, if they are asking for advice in the sub, they are doing something wrong and need to change something. Depending on the person, those changes might range from the small and technical to the large and fundamental. It's normally the former if the person is already handling the fundamentals properly and is going out and meeting women, it's almost always the latter if the person is a complete noob or some kind of incel, but it's always useful to check back on the fundamentals and make sure you're aligning yourself properly, even if that's not the whole picture.

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	24
Comments	30
Date	January 17, 2022 5:53 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/s6a3xd/deleted_by_user/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1268841 https://theredarchive.com/post/1268841

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