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[–]mabden 63 points64 points65 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Going for the kiss is a good indicator of her attraction to you.
She's not.
[–]5_7pickup 222 points223 points224 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Shes not attracted to you bro. If it aint a fuck yes its a no.
[–]9Jeremy8 34 points35 points36 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Most important line I ever read.
[–]ChutiyaChutney420 21 points22 points23 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If it aint a fuck yes its a no
Well fuck me I'm framing this line on my wall
[–]NiNj4_C0W5L4Pr 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This right here. A man's ego will make him continue to pursue, but if you can realize her body language and actions aren't emphatically screaming to ravage you then you are wasting your time and giving her an ego boost...maybe even a free meal, ride, etc. Don't be an emotional tampon for her. Move on.
[–]cold_cash_devine 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No better yet If it’s not a fuck me it’s a no 😭😂
[–]DrewforPres 83 points84 points85 points 4 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link
Sounds like you're being friend zoned
[–]bojanglez34 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link
Anything I can do?
[–]fuckboychadlmao 158 points159 points160 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah. Move on.
[–][deleted] 37 points38 points39 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Really don’t know how to explain this but once you take another girl out and she realizes she isn’t the only option for you the dynamic changes.
I was trying to date this chick and was really into her. But no matter how much time we spent together she just wasn’t feeling it.
So i stopped talking to her like that and remained friendly at work. She caught me super tired yesterday after I went to a hockey game with the new girl i’m dating.
She asked me why I was so tired and I said i went to a Hockey game. She goes on about how much she loves hockey and loves going to games
“So who did you go with?”
So I tell her a couple of friends to not rub in her face that i’m having a great time with a new girl.
She goes “Oh are you sure? you seem like you are repeating yourself a lot?”
Wasn’t sure if she was fucking with me or not. But my point is that as much as it sucks, move on and find someone else.
[–]Prestigious_Pause_45 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
Just be friends back and move on. Nothing wrong making her a friend.
Edit: Sometimes that actually does the trick and maybe she's looking for both in you. Friend/lover.
Worst case, you have a new friend. And chick friends offer great insight.
[–]__Gynotarian__ 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
they do when they want to. not all female friends are genuine just like not all make friend are.
you'll definitely have to assess each one as you go
[–]Prestigious_Pause_45 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I was thinking that was a given with people in general.
[–]wenchslapper 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Have you tried communicating your desires? That’s usually the best way to find out if her desires match yours. Then, you plan accordingly.
[–]bojanglez34 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yes multiple times and just yesterday when we were hanging out she brought up chapstick when I said my lips are getting crusty I said why put it in if you won’t let me use my lips etc something along those lines. We both got a laugh out of it but still no success
[–]wenchslapper 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I meant have you ever straight up told her your intentions? Like, if you want to date her then just tell her you’re looking for something more. If she’s interested, she will tell you.
Or do you already know the answer and just want to avoid it being said?
[–]Delicatestatesmen -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
move on or work on raising her interest level. If her interest in you is low you typically can’t raise it enough for sex or to see u other then a friend. level 1-5 interest wont get u to 7-10 interest. Typically you can raise interest 1-2 points.She needs a 7-10 interest to see you more then a friend. Her giving u a cheek puts you at a 5. Depending on how fast she responds to text and makes things easy for u to date score could drop lower or go higher.
[+]lskerlkse -31 points-30 points-29 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
here's what I would do in this case, which is generally ehh advice, but I'd tell her that you think she's "okay looking" and her personality is also "just okay" and as a result, you want to just be friends because you're seeing someone else
also consider she's self conscious about her breath at the moment or disgusted by your's
ETA: downvote me some more, old blind-leading-the-blind ass cheesedicks
[+]Serenatadeputeadas -7 points-6 points-5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Don't move on, she is not saying no tho, she probably wants more effort from your part, just kiss her man cmon
[–]DrewforPres 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Who knows what's going on in her head but you can just lay it out, i.e. I like you, but you're not the kind of woman that's into intimacy. If that's not true let me know what we can do different. But otherwise that's cool for you but imma find a girl who likes that stuff
[–]tanashah 112 points113 points114 points 4 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link
Go for neck next time. Thank me later
[–]MrHouseGang 14 points15 points16 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Facts
[–]sekshibeesht 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Always works... If she is hesitant for the neck, start with the shoulder. Progress closer and closer to the neck and then upwards the jawline. Stop right near lips and keep on teasing till she herself leans in with the lip.
[–]Sooziwoo 64 points65 points66 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Honestly this is all terrible advice if she’s not in to it, sounds like she isn’t ready, or she is friend zoning him. He needs to work on her mentally wanting him before he touches her anywhere at all.
[–]Delicatestatesmen 17 points18 points19 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
yes I agree saying going for the neck when u get a cheek is like me saying she said no to dinner so take her to breakfast.
[–]tanashah 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You maybe correct. Only OP can judge the situation and act accordingly
[–]sekshibeesht -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I understand you're a female and this looks predatory, but trust me it's not. Many a times the girl is nervous and/or not too confident/scared at the moment. Of course getting smaller hints is important. I really cannot make out how the girl be feeling at that moment in that guys case but yes if its how you depict it, then better stay away from her.
[–]rosbergsessa420 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
this is true as well he probably hasn't "got" her yet, but at the same time this could help getting there
[–][deleted] 30 points31 points32 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Bro if she doing that I’d be finding the door. You can mention it to her before you do though. Send her a message or call her and explain that you don’t think you’re the right fit because of that reason. See what she says.
[–]ChutiyaChutney420 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
True, this seems like the most logical thing to do fr
[–][deleted] 17 points18 points19 points 4 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
I'd go for it a third time, and if she still gives you the cheek, either stop contacting her, or straight up ask her what's up with that. Some girls don't like to kiss on the first date, which is understandable, but if after 3 dates she still doesn't want to kiss, either she's stringing you along for attention, or you're just simply not on the same page when it comes to kissing and affection, and that'll affect the relationship going onwards.
Me and her work together well in the same building how should I proceed with her at work just keep it casual?
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Just treat her like you normally do minus the flirting. She's still a friend and a coworker after all.
[–]agnostic_nexus 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Putting a number on the dates seems weird. If OP, you really like her and want to do better with her I (F23) would suggest stop trying to kiss her at all and just make your dates exciting and different, something to get her attraction levels up, before attempting again. Maybe she'll even try and kiss you
[–]agnostic_nexus 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
If she wants to play coy, let her, that's more fun for her than "getting to the point" of a kiss, and will keep her around longer. If you work harder to win her over it increases her value, so she may be trying to make you work harder to prove your interest. Going for a kiss and earning a kiss are different
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
The problem with that is he'll be putting her on a pedestal. He can't forget that he's the prize too, it goes both ways. She has to work hard to get him too.
[–]agnostic_nexus 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I just don't agree with this statement at all - on a fundamental level, but yes if that's what he's going for he should do that I guess
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
You don't think dating goes both ways and she needs to put as much effort as he does?
[–]agnostic_nexus 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I don't think the effort in both directions comes in the same forms. Her getting dressed and looking pretty and being good company and making conversation is her effort, his paying and driving and planning is his effort.
The relationship should go both ways but the way they'll express it to each other is going to be different and those differences are important as well as valid. But kissing/sexual activity shouldn't be considered part of that equation
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Perhaps we have different views on dating, maybe due to age, as your view seems very traditional, one that's not very common with young people nowadays.
[–]agnostic_nexus 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
🤷♀️
[–]_Lazer_Wolfe_ 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Maybe she's just nervous due to inexperience or past trauma. I'd suggest try a new less intense angle or talk about it. GL !
[–]pacg 15 points16 points17 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
The classical approach is to work on escalating attraction through push-pull, building up to a kiss rather than going in cold. A general guideline is that the kiss should never be the first time you make physical contact.
At what point in the interaction are you going for the kiss?
[–]bojanglez34 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
End of the night. I see signs like biting lips etc but just not successful as of yet
[–]thatusernameuwanted 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Don’t put all the pressure of what u want at the end of the night/date. Shoot your shot earlier at a good moment - that way u can talk about it if somethings really up w/o rushing
[–]Ready-Stress-7377 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Awarded because that’s exactly what I was gonna say u/thatusernameuwanted….Yes waiting to the end will just add too much pressure, too much anticipation…with a loud internal voice saying “go now…go now before it’s too late”…..all of that will end up with you just taking an unsmooth lunge. Earlier in the date is indeed better. But OP, in your case this girl does not want you….and her saying she likes hanging out with you, isn’t code for she likes you…but two swerves with no explanation is definitely code for, “I don‘t like you like that”.
[–]LeadPrevenger -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Take your time, you want a modest girl
[–][deleted] 8 points9 points10 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Is she showing affection in other ways? If not I’d bail. It’s not just embarrassing but kind of rude on her part to lead you on.
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
2 times f that, bounce homeboy
[–]Crixusgannicus 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Next.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well I was in love with someone and didn't let him kiss me that fast. Its too fast. Unless you're not interested and you just want sex, then move on.
[–]bernievg 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
If she likes spending time with you then she probably is interested in you. There might be many reasons to which she is doing this. Now it has only happened 2 times so don’t really worry about it. She just might be trying to play it hard or she is just holding back. Try escalating instead of going directly to kiss her. If she’s not letting you escalate then she doesn’t want to.
If you keep seeing this behavior then she’s just playing with you. Don’t try or just move on if this is the case.
[–]Human-City-8231 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Most probably you're husband material, not hookup material
[–]Human-City-8231 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
She's trying to play safe and keep her image intact.
[–]xterra88 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I dated this girl who only gave me the cheek the first few times. We are together for 5 years now. She prob think it’s too fast and testing your patience right now
[–]titsmcgee2525 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
A girl that’s uncomfortable in kissing or doesn’t want to kiss needs help or doesn’t want you and you are friend zoned. Move on. Both sides are auditioning for each other on dates and your supposed to put your best foot forward. If her best is her refusing to kiss you…there’s no hope.
[–]TempAcc64 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Go for her neck and get a reaction, if not, move on. She just wants attention.
[–]lskerlkse -5 points-4 points-3 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
This is good advice; what virgins are on here downvoting this A1 sauce?
This sub is in the pits
[–]carpe-somnus 12 points13 points14 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
what on earth leads you to believe that is a good idea?? if she doesn’t want to kiss him on the lips, what makes you think she wants to turn up the heat with neck kissing?? we all know neck kissing is more intimate than kissing on the lips. i get this subreddit is for seduction but that doesn’t mean advising OP to make further advances on someone who is clearly not interested in being seduced
[–]lskerlkse -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
gotcha loud and clear
your vibe is alright, are you a pisces?
[–]carpe-somnus 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
interesting guess but no, i’m a virgo sun scorpio rising. lol hbu? and what led you to the pisces conclusion hahaha
[–]lskerlkse 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
ah, the mermaid avatar led me to take that as a first guess. i don't know much about astrology, but my old boss was a virgo and she was a great leader; empathetic, kind, shit like that. coincidentally liked mermaids, but we live near weeki wachee, florida (live mermaid shows), so many of us are enthusiasts
[–]norwegiandoggo 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Ask her if she's uncomfortable with kissing, or what she feels is holding her back. Maybe she's afraid of something.
[–]reversedbydark 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Hahahahahahahah
[–]lskerlkse 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
ngl, that's how I reacted too; idk why lil homie over there has all them down votes for appropriately saying "terrible"
this sub is seduction, not therapy
"How does it make you feel when I approach you for a kiss considering you reject and turn your cheek toward me instead?"
What in the fuck
[–]reversedbydark 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
People should really be banned from this group after comments like that.
[–]lskerlkse 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
yeah; it's like the people who follow this sub for advice are giving advice to other people who follow this sub for advice and it's become a golden corral cheese fountain of involuntary abstinence
c'mon cheesedicks
[+]stanthemilkman88 -7 points-6 points-5 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Terrible.
[–]norwegiandoggo 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Does this pass for a comment these days?
[–]fuckboychadlmao 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yes. Asking her this is pointless.
[–]norwegiandoggo -4 points-3 points-2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Nope
[–]curlybelly62 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Maybe you have bad breath. Check yourself or ask a trusted friend/relative.
[–]BedVirtual2435 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
You know what's a foundation to a relationship? Communication.
If you want to build something up with this girl you got to speak up about these things between yall that have been bugging you, her answer will help you decide if she's even feeling it bro.
Or I mean, if it's not that serious don't ever bring it up and drop her right?
Who knows? Maybe she thinks it's too soon to kiss, maybe she's worried about something, maybe she's low key been talking to someone and is feeling unsure about you, maybe she's still just trying to know you better, maybe she's nervous.. you won't ever know unless you man up and ask her what's up. I mean honestly that's what you should be doing since it's clearly bugging you.
Last night my man and I got into an "argument" one that could have been done sooner if HE SPOKE up about how he THOUGHT I was feeling. (Also if I spoke up and told him what's wrong but that's beside the point)
[–]BedVirtual2435 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Based on your profile, if this is the same girl that keeps flaking out on you though I would suggest moving on, in my opinion.
[–]maafna 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I agree with this (I'm a woman). People have different feelings on how slow to take dating.
[–]Lost_In_Space_49 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Option 1. Quit trying for a kiss and see if she’s says anything or initiates one. Option 2. Next time you get the cheek say “ you get me so nervous I miss your lips every time “. Option 3. Give it up you’ve been Friendzoned!
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (17 children) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[+]norwegiandoggo -8 points-7 points-6 points 4 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link
That's sexual harassment
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link
[+]norwegiandoggo -6 points-5 points-4 points 4 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link
Nope nope nope. If a girl turns her cheek what does that mean? It means she doesn't want to kiss on the mouth at this moment. It means basically the opposite of escalate further. It means back off, "no", or "stop".
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link
[–]norwegiandoggo 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
For calling out someone for advising sexual harassment? Maybe you need an adjustment.
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
[–]norwegiandoggo 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
I can see a lot of dudes are into sexually harassing women here. I don't know whether I should laugh or cry. Apparently people think that a woman turning her cheek means she wants the guy to grab her head and go for the kiss on the mouth again. Maybe you should talk to some actual real life women and ask what they mean when they turn their cheek when a guy tries to kiss them.
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
[+]reversedbydark -7 points-6 points-5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Try never contacting her again, this will show her that you are in power...it will also create attraction if there ever was.
Good luck.
[–]Perfect_War5446 -2 points-1 points0 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That’s means she doesn’t like you like that bro
[–]waverunnr -3 points-2 points-1 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Since you’ve got nothing to lose at this point, Next time she gives you the cheek, unzip your zipper and ask if this is better.
She's a friend. Enjoy the friendship and pivot your romantic feelings elsewhere.
I went on two dates with a chick years ago who gave the cheek which was my cue to go because I had other offers who would kiss me on first date. She contacted me a few weeks later and was even sending me sexy pics and wanted another chance - sometimes there just ain’t no telling and they do want to take their time, don’t like kissing anywhere too public - it may not always mean she is not attracted to you but usually it is that or she doesn’t feel chemistry.
[–]Zealousideal6669 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I think you should flirt more, while you're flirting and teasing back and forth make sure you're as close to her as possible then look Deep to her eyes, speak slowly maybe pull out her hair, usually it's the best test for me if she's ready for a kiss or not, if she doesn't resist, it's fine then something like, I like to use that line like you make me wanna kiss you, why you do this to me? Then it's super flirty and works for me every single time. It worth a try
[–]ShadowFoxxx15 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Just move on bro. You can still be friends but don't initiate contact no more until you literally have nothing to do or you are bored to death which you shouldn't be if you are working on being a better person/man. Don't waste your time with that cheek kissing bullshit
[–]Marinaraplease 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Make em clap boi
[–]UrFavPlayerIsBack 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Bite it
[–]determinator94 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oof, that’s rough… just let her go, man. She ain’t into you. Sorry man…
[–]Phoenix-King77 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
She likes soending time with you but doesn’t find you attractive
Drop her and move on to yhe next. She is low interest
[–]Psychological_Sea996 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Keeps? This keeps happening? On you bro. Should’ve dipped after the first time.
[–]TheHungryRabbit 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Best advice I can give you: start ignoring her for a long time, there is a chance that she will come around
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[+]stanthemilkman88 -7 points-6 points-5 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]norwegiandoggo 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]fuckboychadlmao 3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]norwegiandoggo -4 points-3 points-2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]curlybelly62 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]BedVirtual2435 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]BedVirtual2435 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]maafna 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Lost_In_Space_49 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (17 children) | Copy Link
[+]norwegiandoggo -8 points-7 points-6 points (16 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (15 children) | Copy Link
[+]norwegiandoggo -6 points-5 points-4 points (14 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (12 children) | Copy Link
[–]norwegiandoggo 4 points5 points6 points (11 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (10 children) | Copy Link
[–]norwegiandoggo 6 points7 points8 points (9 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (8 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (7 children) | Copy Link
[+]reversedbydark -7 points-6 points-5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Perfect_War5446 -2 points-1 points0 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]waverunnr -3 points-2 points-1 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Zealousideal6669 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ShadowFoxxx15 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Marinaraplease 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]UrFavPlayerIsBack 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]determinator94 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Phoenix-King77 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Psychological_Sea996 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TheHungryRabbit 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link