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bearsarescaryasfuk · 2022-01-14T17:05:01+00:00

Here's my playbook:

LISTEN a lot.

It'll give you more time to think + more material from your partner's life you can spin together.

ASK QUESTIONS (don't go overboard with this lol)

The point is to spark deeper discussions. It's also flirty to slightly challenge their perspective on a topic- not in a mean way, but in a book club kind of way, but it's not about being right, it's about giving your partner a stage to express her opinions. Ask questions based on what they shared. Ask questions about what they like.

Oh, and READ a lot!

Lots of interesting things happening in the world, a lot of great creative works to inspire you. Build a mental library of facts, art, music. Not only important for building your self-esteem and identity, but will inform your own communication style.

Plus, nothing is wittier than when I hear my partner express an opinion I disagree with, but is able to change my opinion with his knowledge. Education on a topic you're mutually passionate about is hot.

edit for more I forgot:

BREVITY - don't burden yourself with carrying the convo. Being witty is about being brief and effective with your expression. It's okay to have some awkward silences, and owning that makes you look confident AF.

This should not limit you from going into extending monologues when requested, but if you're flirting, I'd say you'd want to keep the ball mostly in your partner's court; people love talking about themselves and will love you for letting them. See Ask Questions section.

NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION

It's not all about talk. Pay attention, direct your gaze, smile, shrug, gesture, thumbs ups, high fives, nods.

OBSERVATION

Be aware of your surroundings. During awkward silences I like to examine the space and find an interesting thing happening to point out to my partner to observe too.

Like, hey, look at how the shadow of that plant looks like a cat! Or, hey, I noticed your socks have hamburgers on them, now I'm hungry - what fastfood hamburger d'ya usually get?

Paltenburg · 2022-01-14T13:06:03+00:00

I agree with people saying "be yourself". I also agree it's unhelpful advice, because you can't act being witty, it's something that comes naturally if you enjoy yourself.

Having said that: What helped me once is: Before I would call up a women, I would watch clips of "Friends". Then during the call, I'd still be in this laughing/witty mood, which helps.

gt35r · 2022-01-14T14:33:02+00:00

It's something that comes naturally to people, you just need to relax and this is so cliché but be yourself and dont put up a front because a lot of times people can see through it. If you want to practice, start with your group of friends and just learn to talk more. Don't hold things in that could be funny just because you're worried how others might react.

mmmm_frietjes · 2022-01-14T15:44:50+00:00

Watch improv / standup shows. Write down the lines you find funny, try to come up with your own spin on those. Even better, join a improv group. Being witty is about making quick associations in your mind, it takes practice to become a 'natural'.

Stealing from another reddit thread:

What I always recommend though is to watch the late-night guys -- Craig Ferguson and Conan are by far the best at improvisation (Ferguson's show is mostly unscripted), but Letterman, Leno, and Fallon aren't terrible either. Watch how they interact with their guests -- they always have a quick, witty, relevant response to whatever the guest is saying (in most of the shows, it's pretty scripted, but you can still learn from it). And if you really want to see how they do things, try to write down some of the dialogue as you're watching the show -- or just go on youtube and find the shows, so you can pause it while you write. Look for the patterns in their responses -- they're all really good at conversation-threading (when the guest mentions A, B, C, the host will latch on to one of those points and ask about it). Fallon and Conan are the ones who most often laugh at whatever the guest is saying, which I wouldn't really recommend, whereas Ferguson and Letterman tend to ignore the laughter of the audience and just keep going (which I definitely recommend. You don't want to act like the girl -- or guy -- is the funniest person on the planet, since they're probably not. When they say something you find legitimately funny, laugh. Otherwise, don't try to flatter them too much. That's just my opinion though). Edit: As an exception though, Ferguson is really good at flattery. It's almost always sexual in nature, and I wouldn't be surprised at all if he's fucking some of the guests behind his wife's back. He'll usually just comment on their shoes/dress, but then he'll always make it sexual somehow. That's sort of his shtick, but you can tell it's not really scripted in most cases. Out of all the late-night hosts, I think he and Fallon have had the most experience with improv, and Ferguson's clearly had the most real-life experience (he was in a band, he was into drugs for a long time, he was an alcoholic for a long time, etc.; so he's clearly had plenty of experience with girls).

Calamity__Bane · 2022-01-14T11:44:30+00:00

What helped you guys be creative in talking?

I don't try to be witty unless something comes to me. That means what I say is a lot more substantial, and I'm a lot more comfortable when having conversations.

madmanmat · 2022-01-14T18:29:19+00:00

Anyone who says it comes naturally is fucking lying. Here is A valuable lesson I learned in my early twenties. While looking at college electives I saw “comedy writing” as an option.

After taking an introductory course I found out the most incredible discovery.

People study comedy.

Much like any subject. Study comes from practice and work. Reading books, improve comedy classes, writing sets watching comedians.

All of this is going to help you understand joke structure and timing. Understanding comedy up’d my game so strong it was like a super power.

Obviously finding the line between using different jokes and just light humour for flirting comes with practice but knowing the structure of comedy was the backbone of everything.

kazuechan · 2022-01-15T02:00:25+00:00

Be around people that you want to be like. Their humor will rub off on you.

I had a boyfriend who was a social butterfly and he somehow knew everyone. So I watched how he talked and interacted with people. I realized he took the first step to talk to people and then got them comfortable with small talk and that automatically lowers their guard. I started implementing that and now I have a large network.

Watch and learn.

thebrownmancometh · 2022-01-14T14:07:23+00:00

[permanently deleted]

fratticus_maximus · 2022-01-14T16:24:16+00:00

Ignore all this bullshit of "be yourself." Being witty is simply being able to relate 1 subject to another subject in a novel way in your brain circuit. It's actually pretty simple process that you just need to practice. I read this in an ebook a while back. I did this and it made me a lot wittier in the moment.

1, Think of a random thing. I have occasionally used random word generator or just something that's on your mind.
2, List all the things you can think about it. Who, where, what, when, why. Phrases. Ex. Cat. Animal, cat lovers, crazy cat ladies, curiosity killed the cat, etc.
3, Find another topic or just use the default topic of "sex."
4, Relate the first topic to the second topic.

I think I have the ebook somewhere on my computer.

Numbw1ll · 2022-01-14T18:56:25+00:00

Witty = be sarcastic Flirty = make sure evey sentence contains the words "we" and "us"

2022-01-14T14:02:13+00:00

There are not really anyway ways to become really witty or flirty if you are not like that naturally but you can create situation where it is more likely to be. For me, when I am more comfortable and not nervous, I am wittier and more flirty. Like with girls you don't like or with your friends, you are more relax and can joke and be witty a lot easier.

So practice talking to girls and get use to being in that relax state. The more practice you get talking to pretty girls, the more relax you will be and it will come to you easier . When you are nervous talking to anyone, it is hard to come up with anything since you are just trying to not be awkward. Hope this helps!

JohntheAnabaptist · 2022-01-14T15:40:58+00:00

Hey guys, just wondering, how do I become smart? /s

The_Prince_of_LA · 2022-01-14T15:21:15+00:00

Focus on the present moment and live in it. Read the Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle for help.

Avinbihari · 2022-01-14T16:06:09+00:00

Most people exchange info when they're talking. Just go into conversations with a different mindset. Watch Craig Ferguson flirt on YouTube.

Happy_goth_pirate · 2022-01-14T16:15:45+00:00

Watch British panel shows, condians and raconteurs, memorise the responses and apply them in conversation. Churchill was known as witty but he prepped those answers

iiexistenzeii · 2022-01-14T16:42:52+00:00

Watch stand-up comedy and take improv classes

Take risks in situation by being witty.

People here saying you gotta be natural, I disagree. You can train yourself to be good enough.

AndreKnows · 2022-01-14T17:40:05+00:00

What really helps is watching some stand up comedy before going out, if you had a good laugh it will be easier to have fun conversations with girls when going out

insideman513 · 2022-01-14T18:11:57+00:00

listening to comedy podcasts has helped me a lot, especially ones where it's just the comedians having conversations. Bill Burr, Bad Friends, TigerBelly, FitzDog Radio are some of my favorites

martyr1337 · 2022-01-14T12:11:25+00:00

just be yourself, be true to yourself and say what you think is funny.
If she doesn't think its funny, its not ment to be but always stay true to your first thought in speaking to her.

these little principles do the trick for me.

Shadow__Account · 2022-01-14T16:55:48+00:00

By being relaxed and enjoying/ entertaining yourself, both build upon confidence.

ABraveLittle_Toaster · 2022-01-14T17:47:08+00:00

This is one of those skills where, reading different books, watching a show or, listening to a podcast helps you build the knowledge to be witty. Being yourself helps, but also slowing down and talking less allows for one to think of a good response. Plus talking less allows you more opportunities to learn about them. Less is more, just because you're in a role doesn't mean you should keep going. Sometimes that one-liner or joke is all you need to get your foot in the door.

However, it takes practice and failure and I mean failure in how to learn from the experience. Learning how to perfect it isn't easy, because not everyone responds the same. Sometimes one must steer the conversation in a direction to allow one to be witty.

Sometimes going up to someone with the intent to fail/try/experiment and learn is a good starting point. Kinda like the cold approach but with no intent to seduce. It's to build confidence.

Confidence also plays a role, because you might have the best response, but how you say it can kill your image.

TheRealSkippah · 2022-01-14T17:55:32+00:00

Read lots of books.

NegusQuo82 · 2022-01-14T19:38:36+00:00

Pop culture references!

qwertyqwqwqw · 2022-01-14T19:40:53+00:00

The best thing you can do to be more interesting in conversations is to find several hobbies you enjoy and get more involved them. People of both sexes enjoy hearing someone talk about things they are passionate about and it gives you an easy thing to talk about if there is ever a lull in the conversation.

Another tip I’ll give is in regards to storytelling. When telling a story it isn’t really all that important that the story is 100% accurate down to the last detail. Spice up the story to make it more engaging. Don’t outright lie about things that could easily be fact checked but given that the person you’re talking to probably doesn’t care about the historical accuracy I’d say take every opportunity to hype yourself and your past exploits up. This will help your own confidence and make you seem more interesting. Nobody is ever as interesting as they’d like to be but since that is a pretty universal experience why not hype yourself up in a way that isn’t gonna hurt anybody?

MrShelDie · 2022-01-14T20:08:48+00:00

I think you put too much emotional energy into communication. Remember: if communication goes badly, you feel uncomfortable, then do not waste your time on a useless thing, it will not lead to anything anyway.

buckphif · 2022-01-14T23:27:42+00:00

Honestly I think the key is improv class. It teaches you how to think on the spot.

henlofr · 2022-01-15T01:40:48+00:00

Really from my experience talking to other dudes who have this problem, it’s still about confidence. If you are present in the conversation, instead of in your head, it’s not that hard to be witty and make people laugh. So, like others have said, listen.

Ny5tagmu5 · 2022-01-15T01:47:07+00:00

practice.... lots of practice!

bearsarescaryasfuk · 2022-01-15T07:03:46+00:00

Reply “you don’t say” to every response.

2022-01-15T09:08:46+00:00

It’s a skill that can’t really be learned

Heath_Handstands · 2022-01-15T00:04:16+00:00

Maybe not the advice you want to hear but get decent sleep and eat quality food. It’s amazing how much sharper you will be from simple lifestyle hacks.

Also not only are you going to be shaper in the moment you are going make better observations and connections about your interactions and will level up your game much faster.

Snakehead004 · 2022-01-14T17:39:43+00:00

My issue isn't in person but over messaging aps. How do you create attraction only through texting???

ArtistProfessional45 · 2022-01-14T20:32:20+00:00

Listen to Atmosphere's first 4 albums. Lyrics are the keys to smiles

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Upvotes	205
Comments	55
Date	January 14, 2022 11:17 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
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