[deleted by user]

Confidenceisbetter · 2021-10-05T13:08:08+00:00

Honestly it just sounds like she’s a bit awkward and shy. I’ve been in her position before. Meeting a guy for movies at my place. Him initiating cuddling and me going along with it. After the movie ended i just felt kind of awkward because i didn’t know what to do so i just got up from the cuddling position and was sitting a bit further away from him. I wasn’t against kissing him I just didn’t know what to do or how to act. He eventually came closer again and kissed me, which I realised not everyone has the courage to do that when the girl is sending mixed signals like that.

So i would suggest just go for it next time. She wouldn’t keep meeting you and prolonging the dates if she didn’t like you in some way.

klippklar · 2021-10-05T15:06:03+00:00

Kino starts way earlier: High fives, platonically touching the shoulder and arm in conversation, bumping into each other while walking side to side , holding hands, hugging. It's really an escalation ladder, think of it as a process. On every step of the ladder you test the water, whether she is feeling comfortable, e.g. when she's comfortable holding hands she will most likely be comfortable to kiss. Think of it in a two steps forward one step back fashion, like hold her hand but be the first to pull back. Make her crave your touch. Don't be a loser and linger for it and never look at your hands when touching. Learn to use nonsexual touch not just with girls but with anyone until it feels natural, it's essential for good charisma.

Pro move that is definitely not for rookies and people that aren't natural with touch yet but just to give you a perspective on how powerful it can be: ambiguous touch. imagine talking to a girl that is into you and comfortable with touch. While elaborating on the backstory of world of warcraft you briefly touch her chest with the back of your fingers just a little to close to her boobs when you make a point. The girl will suddenly become very susceptible to blizzard products and not rarely lean into your hand. It's crazy.

Sgtengineer · 2021-10-05T14:59:12+00:00

I have this issue also. My parents were born in 1931. I’m 48 so I was taught to respect people. And women. Plus I wasn’t touched as a kid. I know it’s stupid. But it’s learned behavior

eonscrewedme · 2021-10-05T13:27:45+00:00

I think you're being far too timid.

It's your job to push the envelope, and watch for signs. At times you'll push it just a tiny little bit too far (but not that far), then pull back a little, then rinse repeat. A few moves you could try, just do it as if she's your gf or whatever. Key here is to make it seem completely natural, be bold, and be confident. It's ok:

Stroke her hair.
touch her shoulder/arm with the side of your hand.
hold her hand with your hand, palm read her head. Compare your hand sizes.
put your arm around her shoulder.
Kiss her forehead/hair (this is a bit of a paternal gesture and is more reassuring than erotic, it works well to calm a girl down).
eventually just embrace or side embrace her you know?

If you're feeling the vibe for a kiss, give her a compliment (something stupidly simply, like "I like your positivity/demeanour/etc"), gaze into her eyes and pull her in a little. She'll get it. be bold

If she doesn't receive any of this positively just move on. Tell her it doesn't seem like you're gelling well together and go get another girl.

Sometimes the chemistry is just not there which is a sign you're not compatible. That's ok, move on. You won't gel with every girl.

And sometimes you'll be so turned on by her you won't help but make moves. That's where you want to be, but you also need to know when you're not in that state and just save yourself and the girl the time waste and cut it.

XtraSaucyy · 2021-10-05T14:58:30+00:00

Yeah I think it’s lack of confidence/boldness/knowing how to flirt and touch to escalate on both ends.

reversedbydark · 2021-10-05T16:29:49+00:00

3rd date and no kiss...you might as well be friends. Don't call her again, wait for her to call about meeting you.

If she doesn't move on...if she does say: "It's good to hear from you, when are you free to get together?"

Make a definite date then KISS HER or you'll get friendzoned for good...you might already be.

Good luck.

SlevinLe · 2021-10-05T13:35:42+00:00

You need to practice kino. Third date and you cant even touch her without feeling awkward when you should be having sex by that time. You cant expect to be able to kiss her (or for her to kiss you) when she isnt comfortable with your touch. When she touches you slightly, even when she seems to touch you by mistake, thats an invitation. She is telling you that touching her is ok. When she does that, reciprocate touch, when she pulls back, pull back slightly. Its like a dance. Also, you should not wait the end of the date to go for the kiss.

truthbomb999 · 2021-10-05T17:36:05+00:00

she was clearly enjoying herself

Bad assumption. She was just enjoying the free drinks and attention. She never had any intention of sleeping with you or taking it further.

When I walked her to her car, she quickly said bye and did a side hug, making it virtually impossible to have any sort of intimacy/kiss to end the night.

Exhibit A for why she wasn't actually enjoying herself and you should have completely cut her off there. She was just leading you on and you fell for it

I wanted to do something quick before things died off.

You are chasing someone who clearly doesn't like you. Why do this to yourself?

At this point, I figure I need to make some moves, or it’s going to die out

Sir it's already dead and buried.

Waiting. Waiting. Nothing

It was never going to happen....take a hint bro

She asks what I’m doing this week (again, seems like interes

It's a lead on...don't be that guy. Recognize when you need to move on.

Wtf. I’m so confused

You are in the friend zone and she's using you for time, validation and attention.

felt like I was making moves on a mannequin

I would have said a corpse but whatever non living object is appropriate.

yet she still shows signs of interest.

She's showing 0 signs of interest. Everything she's doing screams "I don't want to fuck you" why keep chasing?

At this point, idk if I even reach out to her again

Block, delete her number, never speak to her again in any way and move on. Plenty of other women in the world

TheSunshineMan · 2021-10-05T21:38:02+00:00

Mixed signals?

Huh?

What?

What are you confused about..

She wanted you to kiss and fuck her..

Instead you thought she should be the man and lead..

Sorry..

It doesn't work that way..

YOU need to be the one to make the move..

"Should I just move on? I’m lost."

No, you need to learn the signs better..

Because she was giving you sings that were clear as day..

That she wanted you to make a move..

You dropped the ball..

You probably could've had sex with her on date #1.

Now you're already at date #3..

And you still haven't gotten more than a side hug?

I'd be surprised if she sees you again..

She either thinks you don't like her.. and just like her like a friend..

OR

You're too much of a puss puss to go after what you want..

Both are HUGE red flags to women..

I see your other comment of how do I practice flirting with women..

You just had 3 chances...

This isn't a video game.. this is done in real life.

TLDR - stop being a puss puss, be a man, and do what you want to do. If you want to hold her, hold her, if you want to kiss her, kiss her, if you want to fuck her, fuck her. Period end of story.

AVGVSTVS_OPTIMVS · 2021-10-05T14:12:10+00:00

Movie dates should be kept at Bay until you're in am established relationship. You can't see her, talk to her or try to escalate to being physical.

Kommoncents1 · 2021-10-05T17:07:30+00:00

I go for the kiss on the first date - every. time. It makes your intentions clear. 98% of the time they reciprocate. Stop overthinking it and just go for it. What is this - “it seemed like she didn’t give me a window to kiss her” - shit? While walking next to her you stop, lightly grab her arm, turn her towards you, smile, and kiss her.

It literally is that simple.

RuskyLee · 2021-10-05T19:08:40+00:00

Not wanting to get physical on a third date is completely understandable. Just be patient. If you enjoy her company, then see her again. If you don't, then move on

Paltenburg · 2021-10-05T15:23:28+00:00

It sounds like she was receptive to more initiative from your side. Like: You could easily initiate some more hugging and stroking (like, after the movie), and then move your head closer to her, and at some point kiss her.

prettydirtyboy · 2021-10-05T22:31:06+00:00

You just sound scared. Beating around the bush, trying to send her subliminals hoping she reacts to it, playing a game instead of actually escalating to the point where there’s basically an unsaid ultimatum where she’s either gonna submit, or give you a clear sign of NO

lildudefromXdastreet · 2021-10-05T22:38:53+00:00

She just seems a bit shy about it. This is good, as a man, you just need to take charge and make the move. She clearly wants you to make a move, just grow the balls and do it.

no_not_this · 2021-10-05T23:50:18+00:00

Grow some balls man. She met you 3 times and you did nothing.

ProdiLemaj · 2021-10-06T02:39:01+00:00

Honestly, you’re just being assertive enough bro. You’re overthinking things way too much. She’s hung out with you multiple times, she’s setting up a future link with you at the end of the current one, she’s not moving away when you moved close to her. Women aren’t going to make those kind of moves typically, that’s up to you. You wanna cuddle with her, just put your arm around her and do it. You wanna kiss her, just grab her and do it. Escalate accordingly of course, don’t just go 0 to 100. But just make the move bro, if she isn’t in to it, she’ll let you know. I been in the same situation multiple times where I was with a girl for horns not knowing should I make a move, and several of those times the girls ended up telling me they had been wanting me to the whole time. Just gotta take charge fam.

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	27
Comments	46
Date	October 5, 2021 12:57 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/q1vtzf/deleted_by_user/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1274928 https://theredarchive.com/post/1274928

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