[deleted by user]

NoFaiIing · 2021-08-13T15:50:19+00:00

Youre going a little too fast and coming off too hard and intimidating. Instead of saying “you look beautiful” say “you look nice today” and leave it at that. You gotta have some normal conversations before you start complimenting, build some connection first. But great job actually getting in there and bot being scared, because thats the hardest.

CanadianTurt1e · 2021-08-13T21:52:54+00:00

Bro, don't tell girls they look "tired" or "sad." For them, that's equally as annoying as "you should smile more." Girls hate that shit. Don't tell them they look beautiful on the spot. It's too risky. Like others have said, go for lighter compliments if you don't know if she has initial interest in you. Like the other poster said "you look nice today" is a better opener.

Bogzbony · 2021-08-13T16:04:13+00:00

You can be quick to ask her number especially when she's at work. Just say that you would be glad to meet her again in another place and then ask for her number. If she says no just take it easy, keep smiling, wish her all the best or a good day and take your leave.

visu21 · 2021-08-13T21:27:01+00:00

I think you could’ve pulled the number from the second one.

Her: “That fast?” You: “I’m a busy man.” smile

Roll with the punches, never apologize, they love the DGAF attitude, and most importantly have fun because they love that too, it’ll come with time just keep up the good work.

Ecstatic-Flounder-48 · 2021-08-13T22:53:18+00:00

OP you can try the direct approach if you're casual about it. It's a balance. My line for my first few opening sets is always:

"Hey, hate to interrupt you, but I thought you were really cute. How about I get your number and take you out for a coffee sometime?"

If they give you shit for it, just say you're in a hurry and it makes you look a bit more unavailable while avoiding any typically embarrassing small talk.

Obviously introduce yourself while she's putting the number in.

FaithInStrangers94 · 2021-08-14T03:00:29+00:00

Don’t bring up their appearance at all. If you make other sort of flirty conversation with them that would imply you find that cute

But I respect the guts you had to do this - I’ve noticed even when you fail horribly you still feel a strong sense of pride

ignitedwolf9200 · 2021-08-13T20:14:25+00:00

Coming off WAY too strong, my dude. Tone it down a bit and you may have some luck

kaiser789 · 2021-08-14T00:58:48+00:00

Compliment on her clothes maybe but it should be genuine. Rather than ask for her number, offer you number and if she doesn’t want just say peace and move out.

Mshalopd1 · 2021-08-13T18:13:07+00:00

I struggle with this so much man, but it sounds like you're on the right path to me. You tried. You're not gonna be great at anything when you first try it out. Each time you do it, you'll see the mistakes you made and adjust. You clearly are already in the right mindset. Just keep trying, approach people with kindness and openness and learn from what happens. And remember everyone is different, so what might work on one person won't work on another and visa versa.

GAMINILE · 2021-08-13T19:34:36+00:00

Usually don't comment on these seduction posts BUT I've gotten that "She told me her bf has the same name", I got that one as well in another situation in a party. I didn't even care for it since I was just talking with people, never had to intention to approach, so I held natural frame.

Reason I am saying this is because it turned out to be the biggest shit-test and ended up getting flirted on by her a lot. Nothing much interesting happened after but yeah, I figured maybe you got shit-tested without realising it? Keep the work going, king

EDIT: Oh yeah and if it helps my response to the "Your name is the same as my boyfriends!" was "Well hope he isn't Latino, else you're going to mix us up". Sounds better in swedish but it was something like that.

Birch_T · 2021-08-14T00:25:28+00:00

Dude, I don't know you, but I'm proud of you. Just try to work on a little witty banter for a few minutes, to feel them out. If they seem interested, then ask for their number. Good luck!

TheRealAlkemyst · 2021-08-13T18:39:26+00:00

I usually don't do approaches like that where I can't interact more and lead into getting the name and number, but something like this works for those that are working/occupied.

'My name is X, you caught my eye. I don't want to interrupt you since you look busy, but I'd like to talk to you some more.'

At this point she will be able to reply and you will tell if she is interested or not. Usually something like "Hi, my name is X. I'd like to talk some more too, my number is XXXXXXXXX. I get off at 10pm tonight, you can call until about 11pm."

2021-08-13T20:15:11+00:00

Dont approach when she is working, dont compliment just have a regular conversation

BigBreezysc · 2021-08-14T01:51:54+00:00

Good job on approaching...the thing I would recommend is to STOP TELLING THEM THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL. The fact that you approached them alone...let's them know that so your being redundant. Instead introduce yourself and engage with them in Convo.....depending on the situation keep it short , make eye contact , smile, flirt...and get in and get out.... You want them to know the least about you. Remember.... Alot of guys have the girl based on looks and then talk themselves out of the 😺.... So the more you talk the more you come off as trying to sell yourself. Your already ahead of the game...because approaching is a huge step....keep it up ... Also increase the number of approaches you do..... But keep it strictly to women that when you see ...you feel a huge attraction for.... After awhile you won't even care about the outcomes....because you'll get used to the fact that there are MANY beautiful women out here...

Again Good job bro

mattgk39 · 2021-08-13T22:40:37+00:00

Hey man good on you for trying! It’s really hard to overcome that fear. I totally get the talking too fast or saying something stupid, because I have that problem too sometimes. As others have pointed out, you’re coming on too strong and too fast. Start out with something more tame like “you look nice”. Also something that has helped me immensely is intentionally trying to speak in a calm and low pitched voice. By that I don’t making your voice deeper than it is. But you know when you get excited and your voice goes up in pitch and you talk faster? Make a conscious effort to not let your voice go up in pitch and to not speed up the pace at which you speak. This will not only calm you down, but it will make her feel more comfortable and will portray security and confidence on your part.

Also I generally avoid hitting on women at work, especially in service roles. They kind of have to be nice to you, so you’re really putting them on the spot. I’m not saying it can’t be done, but unless she really vibes with you you’re just gonna make her feel uncomfortable. But the most important thing is to keep trying and to learn from your mistakes!

2021-08-14T06:30:15+00:00

Sounds like you’re trying to close the deal too fast.

I haven’t done any approaches since covid, so take my advice with a grain of salt. I approached a few girls on my old college campus and always got the number. I’m going back to school so I’m sure I’ll be approaching girls soon.

You have to make small talk. Find an excuse to talk, and not just about her looks. Make her feel like a person that’s being valued, rather than you just walking up to her because she’s hot.

For example the ice cream girl. If that were me, I would’ve asked her what her favorite flavor is, maybe then tell her mine. Then move to toppings, then the date and number.

Keezymac34 · 2021-08-14T07:04:26+00:00

Props for approaching you should always get that. My only thing is give them a light compliment then push and pull them by insulting then apologizing that makes u stand out.

SympathyMedium · 2021-08-13T18:38:39+00:00

Hey, first two are pretty good. Eventually if you keep going, like you said, you’ll get better. Listen to the advice, but I think most importantly (I’m new at this shit too), acting it out is much more of an achievement.

I remember when I wanted to get good at juggling, I was taught so many times what to do, but it wasn’t until I actually did it every day that the advice made sense (from a muscle memory perspective)

LakersAreTerrible25 · 2021-08-13T20:08:18+00:00

You don't need to compliment what so ever. Ask basic questions considering what you say isn't a big factor in her attractiveness to you (barring saying stupid shit). Just be you and understand it's a numbers game for everyone

Working-Fan-76612 · 2021-08-14T04:10:44+00:00

He is not going too fast. There is nothing written on stone. I am sure the girls thought about him at night. I would be around these ladies and keep smiling. Keep door open. He broke the ice and that’s the toughest part. Now, it is time to dance around each other sending messages and if nothing takes place, go to other flower, butterfly.

blahblahplahpoo · 2021-08-14T07:43:37+00:00

Girl here. First, don’t open up a conversation with a compliment, especially at a gym. We’re there to work out and it can get annoying for men to approach us clearly just looking to flirt.

I would be much more receptive to someone starting the conversation with something relevant, like, “hey that’s a pretty cool lifting technique, can you show me how to do that?” Or “that’s a nice routine you have there, can you tell me about it?”

Opening with a compliment, especially one that’s basic, irrelevant, surface level, and appearance based makes it seem like you’re desperate and insincere, ESPECIALLY if you ask them out immediately afterwards. It’s like you literally don’t care about who the person is, you just want a date and you want it fast.

Make conversation with us first. Yeah dates are for getting to know people, but also, you can save yourself a lot of time by getting some small talk in before choosing who to ask out. Hold yourself to some higher standards and be a bit more selective in who you ask out. Find someone who has good looks to you AND who you can vibe with in conversation.

Also maybe don’t ask straight for her number. I’m off put if guys are that direct. Unfortunately there are too many creepers out there and most women need to have a better sense of trust and who you are first. Usually though, a simple conversation will suffice.

Take the conversation you have with her and use something from that to find a way to continue contact. For example, if you found a girl at the gym who told you she likes biking, say “hey there’s a really nice trail, want to hit it up sometime?” THEN when you ask that and she agrees, she’ll give you her number. THEN when you go biking, you can say something like “I like you and had a lot of fun— want to go on a date sometime?”

You can do this with literally anything. Find out a girls favorite food… “hey I know a place where they have the best xyz, want to check it out?” Hobbies… movies… so many options.

Be genuine and don’t make it seem like you’re going in only for a date. Take it MUCH slower or you’re going to scare people off.

excusemeumily · 2021-08-13T22:37:15+00:00

don’t hit on a girl out at the gym that’s just creepy

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	297
Comments	47
Date	August 13, 2021 3:42 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/p3njdj/deleted_by_user/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1278372 https://theredarchive.com/post/1278372

Comments