Best way to build attraction with a woman you see several times a week but can't use normal pickup?

LIVIU24 · 2016-10-16T20:00:34+00:00

So you asked her out and she said no?The better strategy is to move on,sure you might try to do x and y ,but there's a high chance you're wasting your time.

jackzander · 2016-10-16T21:18:34+00:00

take the approach of making guy friends and teasing the other women to social proof.

Ah, to be in 3rd grade again.
Really though, the sooner you just learn to be chill around women, the better.

but if she initiates with me should I be flirty?

If you enjoy flirting without expectation (I do), then sure. Knock yourself out. It's fun, and free practice.
However, if the idea of never fucking her makes her uninteresting or frustrating to you, do both of you a favor and direct your energies elsewhere.

Women in male-dominated atmospheres seldom show up just to get attention. There's a reason she keeps coming back to class, and you'll have better luck exploring that mystery than trying to script your future interactions with basic PUA tropes.

altiuscitiusfortius · 2016-10-17T00:44:12+00:00

Ive done judo with women, and you have to be very careful not to sexualize them. Its makes class awkward for you and them, and they will tell other people and it will make all of class awkward for you.

That's just in class though. We had monthly judo beer and pizza nights, and I never went home from one of those alone. Also at out of town tournaments in high school and university, there was an ungodly amount of fucking going on. Judo girls like to get it on. I would expect MMA girls are the same.

I would try to set up some sort of group outing (just say, hey anyone want to get pizza after Fridays class?), and hit on her there, and if it doesn't work, just drop it entirely and find somebody else. Or if you don't, be prepared for the idea that you might have to find a new MMA club soon...

guyinaustin · 2016-10-16T22:08:13+00:00

Why wouldn't "normal pickup" work?

HaikusfromBuddha · 2016-10-16T22:52:04+00:00

If she flat out shot you down even after what you thought were laughs of affection it just may be her firendlyness that has you worked up. Were she really interested she would have agreed. Time to move on.

mad-n-fla · 2016-10-16T23:25:42+00:00

Use the Ferrari instead of the pickup....

/!

Larry_Sync · 2016-10-17T01:14:44+00:00

There is not a "Normal Pickup" my friend, you either express yourself or not. Don't take me wrong, that doesn't mean to be too forward and uncallibrated, try to use your social mind but getting into "hide and seek" situations make it always more complicated. For future use, Social Proof is in all means good value source. But it shouldn't be your "Main Strategy" in any occasion. If it does, you loose other Alpha traits and you amplify insecurities (I'm not enough thinking etc). When you are able to trust solely your self, you communicational value in other words, that's when you show most self confidence and Value as an Attractive man. So, approach whoever you want as soon as posible, be anapologetic but callibrated, see social proof a bonus. Remember if you don't think it's normal, why should she?

Murfdigidy · 2016-10-17T13:16:12+00:00

Okay the key to getting shot down is this....ACT AS IF THIS CHANGES NOTHING OF HOW YOU ACT OR REACT IN FRONT OF HER!

The key to seduction is always always act as if nothing she does affects who you are. For example , you keep flirting you keep busting her balls, keep her laughing! In fact next time you see her bust her chops , laugh with her. She'll think in her head, wow I rejected this guy yet it didn't phase him what so ever, wow that's CONFIDENCE!

some girls say no and are scared but eventually emotions win, and if you continue being sexy and a fun ball buster she could change her mind.

Again you have no idea what she's going thru, she could have a guy she likes no one knows about. Her cat could be dying, her mom could be awful. Again don't assume rejection is something about you. That's why it's key to maintain frame.

The #1 aphrodisiac for all women is confidence. Maintain that frame and girls will naturally draw to you. See rejection as just a part of the obstacle course, keep on going don't lose frame!

You'll attract a lot more than you repel by having this attitude.

Don't change who you are and how you act!

txroller · 2016-10-17T00:46:51+00:00

asking a girl that you workout with out is a no-no jus saying

Shittingburgers · 2016-10-17T05:11:24+00:00

So you had your class and she laughed and enjoyed herself? It sounds like she was just enjoying being in her class and that you were, in a sense, neutral and safe. When you asked her out she threw up her defenses and shot you down.

It seems like she likes to be the one to move into that sort of relationship space. Which makes sense in an environment that has alot of testosterone in it. She wants to stay safe.

Stay visual, if there is a next time, thank her for the spar, truthfully compliment her skills and tell her next week you'll kick her butt! Then if you can, after the spar say something to the effect that you're spent and need to grab a smoothie somewhere. Then judge her response. If she smiles or says something to the similar, be nonchalant. Tell her she's free to join. It will seem less like a direct approach and more like a situation of coincidence.

I've had success with this in the past. The more my intentions are overt the less success I'd have. Be your confident self, have fun and stay the course. If she smiles, you're in.

Good luck, Champ!

monkeyman114 · 2016-10-17T06:17:02+00:00

Just roll with it. If she's friendly, be friendly back, she is wanting feedback.

tckmachine · 2016-10-17T06:38:46+00:00

Uh, are you really good or super good looking? Girls who go to MMA class usually are 1. super serious and not looking to meet guys there 2. or are super swooning over the coaches or some other super shredded guy.

I took martial arts super seriously and never hit on girls there so I can't help with specifics, but normal pickup always applies. Just got to tune it.

There is a reason why pickup encourages you to flirt and game all the time. You don't want flirting to be out of character. If you are 'that' guy then it is consistent with your personality, and it wouldn't be so weird/creepy if she didn't care for your advances.

Anyways, me personally, I'd avoid hitting on girls. One of our rival gyms was notorious for having a reputation for guys there fucking the chicks there. I hated that, and was pretty happy that our amateurs usually beat them.

throwawayforFWB · 2016-10-17T07:26:38+00:00

Were in the same situation here except the girl I talk to is at work. I work as a dishwasher in a restaurant and have been talking with a waitress for a while. She's exactly my type and we have plenty of common hobbies but when I asked about her plans on the weekend(hoping to go on a date) she said she was busy. It's completely obvious that she could have been totally busy but I got nervous and changed the subject and now I don't know how to re-approach.

zworelange · 2016-10-17T11:49:25+00:00

Do not do not do not do not do this.

For fuck's sake let people exercise in peace. Honestly, I think you should just drop it because it's better to have a good gym than a date.

malakoi · 2016-10-16T23:38:29+00:00

RemindMe! 1 day

mancozbi · 2016-10-17T09:07:04+00:00

What is - "a round of rolling in BJJ". Sounds kinky.

yummbeary · 2016-10-16T19:57:51+00:00

Tease her, but in a friendly way, for example:

Tell her you like her, when she does something funny or cute: " haha, i think i like you :)", but then say that you shouldnt flirt so much in mma class and that you should keep it professional. Take it from there 😉

Edit: Keep iT professional

Title	Best way to build attraction with a woman you see several times a week but can't use normal pickup?
Author	RytekBJJ
Upvotes	115
Comments	38
Date	October 16, 2016 6:44 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/57svne/best_way_to_build_attraction_with_a_woman_you_see/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/best-way-to-build-attraction-with-a-woman-you-see.1289960 https://theredarchive.com/post/1289960

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