How much does (good) first sex affect a woman's attraction for you?

chadbrochillout · 2016-11-10T21:45:02+00:00

I've had sex with a 9/10 gorgeous women, she was some sort of model, anyway, she was horrible at it, terrible kisser, she said she never gave a bj before, and it showed, and she just didn't know how to act when it came to different positions, so it made for a fairly awkward experience. I thought it was her first time for a couple reasons I'm not gonna go into detail about, but she denied it. She was really cool to hang out with, but even despite her being super hot, it made me lose interest in favor of women who weren't as good looking but much better in bed.

DranDran · 2016-11-10T21:14:53+00:00

The girl im currently seeing i hooked up with the night of the first date. There was both oral and PIV. A couple times at night, another in the morning, another at noon (I spent night morning and afternoon with her).

The answer to your question is, do what you enjoy. I enjoy giving oral (and recieving) so I went to town. She loved it. There is no rule and you wont have the perfect answer... Shes a new person and part of the fun is finding out what you both mutually enjoy. And thats the only rule you should follow, enjoy yourself thoroughly and as long as you both like.. Every woman will be different.

its_all_perspective · 2016-11-10T21:04:32+00:00

I've been with 35 women give or take a few ranging from 18-40. Virgins and non. I can tell you there's no right answer. Preferences vary far too much from girl to girl. I know I fuck great but that's not everything.

I've had girls say that sex with me is fun and I always make them feel good about themselves. However, two of those girls (who I was dating) also said that it just didn't really feel romantic. On the flip side I've been told by others that I make great eye contact and it's really romantic the way I focus on them. I'm not doing anything different though! Sex is way too subjective to generalize from girl to girl.

I've never set a number of dates or any other limits on how and when to have sex. When it feels right, I go with it. You can pick up on whether they're comfortable with it so just read them and go with the flow.

Edit: That being said, if its really bad and awkward and doesn't feel like it's flowing then that will give her a poor impression.

gogo_bogo · 2016-11-10T21:57:07+00:00

From my experience, it's not the sex itself, its the moments afterwards that determines everything. After you are done, cuddle and play with her hair, run your hand all over her body, give her kisses on her forehead. Make her feel safe around you. That seems to work for me.

blitzik · 2016-11-11T00:26:50+00:00

A lot in my experience. I'm good at giving girls multiple orgasms, and if you can make a girl cum non stop, you'll be on her mind the next day. Still a matter of striking while the iron is hot afterwards, and you can't act like a total goober, but there you have it

ThrowawayPUA · 2016-11-11T01:38:53+00:00

It isn't necessarily the quality of the sex that matters, it's the emotional connection.

Before you have sex, a woman tries to convince herself why it's a bad idea to have sex with you. After you had sex, a woman tries to convince herself why it was a good idea to have sex with you. Coincidentally, that is also a good reason to have sex with you again.

grass_cutter · 2016-11-11T03:32:34+00:00

The correct answers have already been mentioned, but I'll repeat for your benefit.

The truth is, the technical quality of first time sex is NOT necessary in getting a girl to like you a LOT, become extremely emotionally invested, or to feel deep emotions with you, and about you. I mean this should be obvious (except for maybe the guys who believe they always give great sex and have never drank 7 shots of whiskey before fucking).

I have had terrible sex with women then have become extremely attached and connected to me. A lot of women are into sex for reasons other than physical pleasure as well (though important) - validation, feeling beautiful, feeling strong emotions.

That said, the reverse is also true. You can be a boring dude who doesn't really connect with her and the conversation is always stilted (I've been there before too) ... and if you give her a 10/10 pounding, she'll keep you on tap to have a few orgasms once a week or whatever.

Obviously you can aspire to positively influence both her emotions and physical body, the emotional aspect of sex is also a factor in her ability to orgasms sometimes as well.

But I found making her feel powerful emotions and connection to you is a lot more reliable than 10/10 sex, if you want her to stick around. If she's obsessed with you, she'll forgive a lot of whiskey dick sex and what not, unless you literally lost your penis in a car wreck or something.

I wouldn't worry about your performance, though yeah there's no harm in trying to figure out how to fuck well, just don't put the pressure on, meh.

recyclablebanthas · 2016-11-11T02:47:03+00:00

How much does (good) first sex affect a woman's attraction for you? As opposed to not having had sex with her yet, in general, how much does (good) sex change her attraction for you?

There is NO one answer for this. There are so many factors. So many reasons why a person might prefer sex later or sooner. So many reasons why sex might drive someone away, whether it's good or bad.

Does it impact her much more if she's younger and has had little or no past partners?

Not necessarily. While it's common for younger people to have grown up making sex into a big deal emotionally, some people compartmentalize sex when it actually comes happens.

Sure, if I'm horny it's extremely temping, but I'd rather wait until she comfortable enough to spend the night. That sound a lot more appealing and fun, as well as more impactful on her attraction level.

Look, wait until she's comfortable to spend the night, sure, but making that a requirement seems like an unnecessary complication.

And there's no need to grasp for rationalizations/justifications for what you want. It is not necessarily more "impactful" to her if she stays the night. What matters is that it's what you want.

How do you guys handle the first time with her?

Depends on what I want. Depends on what she wants. Sometimes it's quick. Sometimes it's not. Sometimes just once a night. Sometimes multiple times. Sometimes she stays over. Sometimes I stay over. Sometimes no one stays over. Sometimes oral sex. Sometimes it's not wanted. Sometimes we wait a few dates. Sometimes it's within hours of meeting.

Really, you're grasping. What matters is what you want and what she wants. And then how you both feel in the moment. And your values about what you need, I guess.

roeddit · 2016-11-11T00:05:41+00:00

Fuck her as quickly as possible. Dominate her, make her cum multiple times - eat pussy if you're good at it, be somewhat emotional, fuck her in the morning again. Oh, and stop caring so much about her 'attraction to you' or whatever.

2016-11-11T04:33:50+00:00

u gotta smash dat poon right the first time, boi otherwise there wont be a second time real talk

mrbiggles00007 · 2016-11-11T10:49:16+00:00

Keep telling yourself this & maybe you believe it. We are hardwired to mate with a compatible female as soon as possible.

You are acting like you have a choice & it sounds like bs to me.

Main reason is any guy that can have sex with women at will would never ask a question like that.

MusicPsychFitness · 2016-11-11T15:54:41+00:00

Doesn't matter her age or how many partners she has had. Although, personally it's a turn off if she doesn't know what she's doing.

Know her erogenous zones, and use your hands (and mouth) to get her revved up. The comment about paying attention to all parts of her body is spot on. Definitely make her cum. It actually depends on the girl how important this is - some want to cum every time and some are more into the act itself rather than the orgasm. But regardless of the frequency, give her good orgasms and you'll be on her mind.

One thing that might be off topic but related is to set expectations. If you like getting off in a particular way (via BJ, cum on x body part, etc) or doing some mildly kinky shit, do it the first time you have sex. In my experience, this generally works better than having vanilla sex the first time and waiting to introduce the kinky stuff. Although if you're in a LTR you should be able to talk it out at that stage.

2-4 times is about right in getting her "hooked" but in my experience that's when most girls want a commitment. There are exceptions, but I've had a lot of girls where it ended or they ceased contact after about 3 PIV sex sessions if it was clear I wasn't interested in being their boyfriend. If that happens, leave on good terms and keep her number/Facebook. There's no reason you both can't go fuck other people and hook up again a few months later.

Noosterdam · 2016-11-11T22:16:41+00:00

Faster lays than the girl is used to get the Cialdinian consistency principle working for you, which can really help, but it isn't necessary. Do what you enjoy.

Oddscene · 2016-11-10T20:46:31+00:00

For your question if you should wait for her to spend the night, It depends. Are you going for a relationship, or are you just trying to smash?

I've had girls come over for the wine and dine, and they ended up staying over. I would say bring her over when she's not super busy the next day then let her decide. However, for this to work. You gotta perform well.

P.s. I don't recommend going down the first time. Most women get insecure about that shit. That doesn't mean she shouldn't go down in you though!

romspace12 · 2016-11-10T20:27:25+00:00

Upvoted for visibility

dopamine-delight · 2016-11-11T01:18:10+00:00

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2016-11-10T22:28:15+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	How much does (good) first sex affect a woman's attraction for you?
Author	RytekBJJ
Upvotes	108
Comments	47
Date	November 10, 2016 7:39 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/5c9unu/how_much_does_good_first_sex_affect_a_womans/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-much-does-good-first-sex-affect-a-womans.1415313 https://theredarchive.com/post/1415313

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