Bitter about missing out on sex in college. How can I get over this?

Vanwaq · 2018-04-19T15:34:39+00:00

I feel the same way as you dude. I went to a college to obtain get a computer degree. 4 years with 23 men and 1 ugly fat chick. Even the college itself had no party atmosphere. It was a commuting school. Everyone left in the evening. I stayed off campus near the college and their was no parties. I would go to visit my friend in his university in the other side of the city and everyone looked like they were hooking up left and right. I went to some of their parties and they were insane. I am also 29 and feel like i missed out big time. Everyone always talking about how college/uni is the best time of your life and the amount of easy sex you have is crazy. I never had that and now i feel like im too old to go back and relieve it. sucks

BozoCardozo · 2018-04-19T16:01:18+00:00

First, college isn’t really like that. There are a few guys who get consistently laid, but the vast vast majority are frustrated and get lucky maybe once a month.

That said, just based on what you have here, I think it’s time to call it quits. This is quintessential resentment building up. You’re still young, and so is she. If you’re feeling this way now, it isn’t going to go away. This is extreme, but say you guys get married, do you want to feel that resentment for the rest of your life? No. What happens if you can’t take it anymore and cheat on her? Divorce? Kids?

That’s an extreme example, but I think you get my point. She deserves to find someone who is head over heels for her and only her. You deserve to feel fulfilled. If you need to go out and bang a bunch of girls to feel that fulfillment, then do it. You’re your own person. Right now, you’re almost leading her on by not doing anything about the problem.

nighthawkphenom · 2018-04-19T16:03:37+00:00

You are currently seeing a woman but you're bitter over missed women in the past. Wth man. Everyone has different experiences. I went to a traditional school and did not have sex for those 4 years either. I improved myself because i stopped feeling bad for myself. You can't change the past, but you can change for the future. Enjoy your life and the woman you are with.

Vanwaq · 2018-04-19T16:33:59+00:00

I never got to have any sex when visiting my friend because I didn’t go to that school. I would only go their for on night and felt like a outsider. I use to be a social person in high school and took drama played sports. Then I got shoved into a room with a bunch of sausage nerds. In those four years I gained 40 pounds and lost a lot of social skills. Not to mention no sex skills were being formed. So highly inexperienced and girls can tell.

chesterburger · 2018-04-19T15:47:13+00:00

Don’t believe what you see on tv and stories. College is not filled with unlimited horny hot women that are easy and want to have sex all day. I also had no relationships and barely any sex in 4 years at a large university.

Like anywhere, there are a group of men and women that are in “the game” and they are dating a lot and probably having sex a lot. But it takes a good amount of practice to be in that game and it’s not always easy to get there. If you’re not in the game, you’re pretty much ignored by most of the horny women. Guys who were/are good at that game are the ones who talk about college like it’s a gold mine of sex and girls.

AwesomeIshPossum · 2018-04-19T16:06:00+00:00

The most basic question is asking why do you want to hook up with lots of girls. Is it because sex with lots of random women is something you value and being a deep fulfillment in your life. If so, that makes sense. But if it’s because you think it will validate you or bc everyone tells u it is what you would want, think about it a bit. There is no end to the need of validation and it’s a pretty sucky way to live life.

So I’ll just be honest and say I think u are making excuses. Being a bit older, more developed in life will only give u more opportunities. U can sleep with girls in mid twenties to thirties easily. Often these women who have more experience will rock your world sexually in ways more inexperienced women can not. Dating apps have made it all that much easier.

Point is if you could have done it in college, u can do it now. Will it take work and effort and improving ur game? Yes. But I promise u that is what successful guys do (including that nerdy friend). There is nothing stopping u but ur own self limiting beliefs

recyclablebanthas · 2018-04-20T02:48:27+00:00

____1____

Bitter about missing out on sex in college.

This is an arbitrary problem. It assumes that college is the only place for the kind of dynamic social life that is so mythologized in movies and TV.

It's just not true. There's certainly a lot of life going on there.

But be-all end-all? Not even.

You've created a problem out of nothing really. And worse, this is a mindset that will rob you of enjoying what you have now. If you go into social interactions with this kind of bitterness, it will probably seep into your words and actions in ways you might not be aware of.

____2____

How can I get over this?

You have a choice. Worry about the past and lose your present and set a future trajectory that continues to be awful.

Or root yourself in the present and look at what's really available.

____3____

3 years of classes of nothing but dudes, no greek life, no bars or clubs. Well fast forward to now I'm graduated and can't find a job with the degree I got.

Couple things here:

You're still fucking young if you're saying you're just out now, and went in straight after high school. You're what, 22 at the most?
I know people who went back to school at 25 and no one ever knew the difference unless they flat out asked and no one ever really asked. Even when they did, no one cared.
Greek life; you aren't missing much. It's a social life with increased access in some ways and unexpected restrictions on what you can do.

____4____

Well I never got to get anything out of my system. I fee like I'm going to be the 30 year old still putting sex on a pedestal just due to this bitterness I'm developing.

Are you fucking kidding me? 22 going on 30? Look at what you're doing to yourself. You're so focused on THREE fucking years of your life, so much so that you're prepared to throw away your potential fun right now and the rest of your 20s, which when you do the math is another 8 years.

And then I guess when you're 30 you can look back at how you wasted your 20s being bitter. This game never ends, man. And it's a loser. You're wasting your energy.

____5____

It doesn't help that everyone here says that college is the absolute best time to have sex and experiment.

It doesn't help that you're selectively looking for the things that will piss you off the most.

College is the most bullshit myth sometimes. Absolute best time? Far from it. It's a crap shoot. Sometimes things come together, and sometimes they really don't.

People are immature and do stupid things. Sometimes those things add up to a good time. Sometimes it's all drama and no fun. People who don't know how to drink without being stupid. People who don't know how to handle their emotions fully yet.

Crazy things happen for sure, but honestly, I've seen crazier things happen on a more regular basis after I got out.

____6____

I'm going to be the 30 year old still putting sex on a pedestal.......I love my girlfriend and we have experimented a lot and are both sexually adventurous but I just have this feeling of missing out.

Kind of burying the lede here, man. You have a girlfriend. The level of bitterness in everything you wrote up to that point comes off as if it's been written by a virgin or some dude who hasn't had action for a while, anyway.

Why did you get into this relationship? It doesn't sound like you should be with her.

____7____

What city/metro area do you live in? I can walk you through how to make a better social life for yourself. PM me if you don't want to post it here, otherwise, post it here and it might help others.

padanis76 · 2018-04-19T15:26:18+00:00

Break up. Plow thru at least 20-30 hood rat, chicken head types as fast as possible. This could be on vacation, around town, or go back to college - whatever you think is best to get it out of your system.

newschoolyoungin · 2018-04-19T17:21:29+00:00

I go to a party college and I can confirm a lot of girls will fuck almost any guy near them..I've even been to party's and some random girl will just start twerking on me and take me back to their room..Another time some random girl on my dorm floor knocked on my door ,because she was horny .If you attend many social events and look for a fun time you will get laid ...I have seen guys who are like 5ft4 and chubby get laid by above average looking girls just Cuz they knew the guy wanted them so bad😂

Zoidberg22 · 2018-04-19T17:22:26+00:00

In a similar boat.

I feel attractive both inwards and outwards to women but can't close to save my life. Any advice?

Feel like I have imposter syndrome to be honest.

Bigballerway93 · 2018-04-19T18:21:27+00:00

I feel this man. I was the one in my friend group who never got laid in college and my so called friends shit on me constantly for that. It definitely took my confidence down a few notches.

xonradical · 2018-04-19T18:38:09+00:00

Community college bro...

Jarn_Tybalt · 2018-04-19T20:11:12+00:00

It does suck. And you are right, you missed out. Now don't miss out on all the girls that you can have now. You can't change the past, but you can change the future.

You are still young and there is lots of cool shit that is gonna happen to you. Oh, and keep working out if you are not that great looking.

I have a face like a foot, but since i started working out, now I get laid. Good looking people can get away with anything. Us average people, gotta work for it.

olronk · 2018-04-20T04:48:11+00:00

I never went to college but I'm 26 now so I'm way past the sex/dating phase unfortunately and I've never had the opportunity to go on a date or any of that stuff.

I don't personally feel bitter about it mostly considering I'm not that good looking I don't think actually attending college would have changed much.

I mostly just feel bad because I missed out on all the dating/sex part that everyone else got a chance to begin and I missed the boat so to speak.

Title	Bitter about missing out on sex in college. How can I get over this?
Author	dudeman1345
Upvotes	12
Comments	48
Date	April 19, 2018 3:13 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/8dfdnb/bitter_about_missing_out_on_sex_in_college_how/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/bitter-about-missing-out-on-sex-in-college-how-can.1445144 https://theredarchive.com/post/1445144

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