Everybody, I feel fucking dirty…like a fucking skeeze artist. But I’m going to tell you guys anyway. You’ll probably shun me. You’ll probably tell me I’m a creep, and you know what, I feel like that. I really feel gross… like I need a shower, and here’s why:

So I met this girl, we’ll call her Lexi, on Saturday night at a bar. In terms of appearance, she wasn’t anything special. She was only kind of cute, but she had these perfect lips that I noticed immediately. There was just something about her. Anyway, she was sitting aside from her friends, with her phone in her hands, so I went and talked to her.

My friends came and started talking to her after I had been talking to her for a while and I soon grabbed her in and started kissing her. Then we continued talking. Then we started making out some more… and it was probably some of the hottest kissing I’ve ever had in my life. I told her that I wanted to go on a walk with her. She asked her friends, they said no, I told her to come to the Lower East Side (not too far away) with me. She said no but she wanted my number and she wanted to see me later in the evening. I said “maybe” and we exchanged numbers.

Then I sent her a text trying to get her to see me. She responded. Then I left her a very self-amused voicemail trying to get her to see me. I really wanted to see her. I knew I shouldn’t have left her in the first place, but now that I did, I was going for broke- I didn’t care if I fucked it up. She responded the next day saying her phone died and that’s why she didn’t get back to me.

Anyway, I used the Roosh V Text Messaging Guide to set up a day 2 with her for this evening.

I got there 15 minutes late (by accident!). I had arranged to go to a bar, but I realized that I would have more fun just walking around, so that’s what we did instead.

I had forgotten how sweet this girl is- she just graduated and she’s training to becoming a school teacher. She also has a really soft and kind voice.

I was kinoing her as I walked around and it was very congruent. My conversation was very congruent as well.

Seriously there was just some indescribable feature about her. You know the term chemistry? Well it existed between us. Maybe it had something to do with pheromones or something because I felt strong sexual attraction for her.

At one point in our walk, I just started making out with her, without even thinking about it. Usually when I go in for a kiss, I’ll do it because I get the IOI’s and I consciously decide it would be good to kiss her at this point… but this time my sexual urges over powered me and I didn’t even think about it. And when I kissed her, I actually wanted to kiss her for much longer because it was so good. I have lost count of how many girls I’ve made out with, but I don’t think I’ve ever enjoyed a kiss this much.

So we keep on walking (by the way, the walk wasn’t even scenic) until we get to the park. There are a lot of joggers. It’s not even sunset yet. We’ve only been walking for 30 minutes. We sit on a bench, and talk for a little but she keeps looking at my lips. I know that IOI. We start making out and it gets heavy. Eventually, I feel that we both want it enough for me to take my hand and direct it towards my crotch. I do and she starts massaging it…hard. I start massaging her crotch through her pants as well. The whole time I’m also getting tons of texts, which DHV’s me. One of the texts is even from a girl I made out with a week and a half ago.

Eventually I undo my belt and she says, “there are people behind us…” but she doesn’t say it in a way that indicates disgust, just slight hesitation. By this point, the date has been going on for only maybe 50 minutes. I direct her hand into my pants and she starts massaging me again. I tell her to spit on her hand and instead she licks it all over then continues jerking me off until I climax (took her about 15 minutes), and catches my load in her hands. It felt amazing.

I know what we did was disrespectful and lewd, but I couldn’t control myself and I didn’t think I was hurting anybody- I didn’t see any children around or anything- just joggers and a few fishermen. Still... I think everybody who noticed us knew what we were doing because her hand was at my crotch and it was moving vigorously.

Anyway, it was weird- after I climaxed I looked at her and instantly felt disgusted with myself and her. I also felt excited to have this new story under my belt… to a point where I just started lightly giggling. My conversation wasn’t even as strong afterwards, but I was just as congruent. Anyway, the giggling continued until I dropped her off at her train station. The whole date lasted maybe 90 minutes.

I just texted her saying it was “good” seeing her. She replied saying it was “great” seeing me.

I feel like a skeezeball.