Girls find me extremely boring

DatingCoach111 · 2017-07-23T09:54:04+00:00

The worst piece of advice is "just be yourself."

Coincidentally, the best piece of advice is "just be yourself." It's the worst advice because no one tells you how to be yourself, but it's simultaneously the only thing that works.

Asking questions is currently working against you. Instead, allow your internal dialogue to come forth verbally. Make comments, critique what she or her friends are wearing, and share stories.

"That dress looks a little tight on you, I'm surprised you can breathe."

"Hi, I'm just a really creepy guy wanting to get to know you. What's your social security number?"

"You're illegally too good looking. I would like to impregnate you."

That last one was more for laughs, but I've used it before infield. Regardless, every pickup technique in the world is absolutely useless without the right vibe. It's that "edge", that "thing" we're all looking for as men. Someone insecure saying these lines will end up rejected, while someone with confidence saying these lines can end up making her laugh. So what's the difference?

From personal experience, that secret ingredient is sometimes called desire without intent, others call it charisma, and some plain call it confidence.

It comes when you completely and utterly embrace every facet of your personality. This means accepting the darkest ones, in particular. Realize that you will always (at your core) remain the same, and you do not have to change for anyone or anything. For many, this end goal requires an entire journey of endless rejections and heartache before realizing they will always be who they are.

All of us suppress dark personality traits in childhood. This is called the Shadow Self. This constant, subconscious suppression not only drains our energy levels, but it prevents us from accepting ourselves fully. Ironically, accepting these suppressed aspects of us actually releases them, and our creative and playful nature as humans is then outwardly expressed. Women sense this, and will immediately separate you from the crowd as an individual who embraces themselves as a totality.

Our surroundings are just a reflection of our inner state. If you feel comfortable and light during an interaction, the woman you're talking to will mirror you (unless she's really closed off or bitchy, which has nothing to do with you). Embrace yourself, and others will embrace themselves, as well.

I'm a low-energy individual with a very intense persona. At first, I believed this was a turn off. I did everything I could to change. However, it wasn't my personality that turned women off, it was my need for validation that did. Once I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I would never be able to change, that's when everything changed for me. I have dark, morbid, and sexual thoughts running through my mind all day, but because I embrace them, they no longer hold any power over me. I use and acknowledge them as jokes. The end result is my internal dialogue spoken out loud (such as the impregnation line) in a confident/joking way that women immediately identify as harmless and natural.

"Just be yourself" can be one of the most difficult concepts to grasp, or it can be one of the easiest.

melgarologist · 2017-07-23T08:20:47+00:00

Do you think you're interesting?

Ragondux · 2017-07-23T08:42:40+00:00

If you ask interesting questions and they get bored, maybe you have a problem with your energy. Some possibilities:

you don't look interested in their answers
your voice always stays at the same level
you don't look them in the eyes
you ask questions but you don't share enough about you
your voice is too high in pitch

Maturion · 2017-07-23T10:12:57+00:00

So if you're asking them questions or try getting them to talk about themselves, what questions do you actually ask? Would be interesting to know.

mental_acrobat · 2017-07-23T13:10:50+00:00

what helped me was playful banter. I wasn't getting any success without it, then I read this cheat sheet pdf and I finally "got it" , I also read some of the FAQ on here.

Ziddy · 2017-07-23T16:43:19+00:00

To me your game is flawed because it seems like it's about them. Yeah, people like talking about themselves but that doesn't make you sexually appealing. Your goal is to make them interested in you, not know her dogs birthday is in a week (an example, though that's fun info for poking some fun.)

PeteInq · 2017-09-01T19:44:16+00:00

Sup man, chiming in.

I've got some advice for you that you might find interesting.

I agree on what is said on here about the problem is being needy and seeking validation. The solution is to "be oneself".

So- how does one go about doing that? Anxiety ususally comes in the way.

On the relational plane, you can start by not trying at all when you are texting girls. Treat them as you would a close buddy. See this RSD forum post for more.

On the personal plane, you can start to acknowledge and own what you are feeling that you are likely denying. Just feel into your body, ask yourself what is there already, and acknowledge to yourself - yes, it is I that is having this feeling - I feel x - or I am x. See https://philosophadam.wordpress.com/2011/10/21/shadow-integration-the-complete-shadow-work-process-in-four-steps/

You could also check out "The six pillars of self-esteem" for more

Peace

_valtiel_ · 2017-07-23T09:22:36+00:00

I just crack jokes. You didn't mention cracking jokes, chicks love jokes. You might be good looking but if they don't see you as a guy with flaws like them or look uptight, they're not going to be as interested. Show some vulnerability, make fun of yourself sometimes though not too much.

savagesteve_13 · 2017-07-23T16:48:25+00:00

Do you have an accent? Only some accents are considered appealing and sexy.

readonlyuser · 2017-07-23T19:20:53+00:00

More context: do you live in Mexico? Where and when are you meeting girls? How are your energy levels? Are you hooking the conversations?

trpmkb12 · 2017-07-23T20:40:46+00:00

The best way to be interesting is to be interested

imadragonrider · 2017-07-24T20:28:15+00:00

Look into what makes one a good story teller. Based on your description of yourself I feel that could pay much dividends.

Modiggs237891 · 2017-07-28T05:08:05+00:00

Are you interested in what you talk about? Try and elicit more emotion from her and yourself.

Title	Girls find me extremely boring
Author	ferchocolate
Upvotes	25
Comments	24
Date	July 23, 2017 8:03 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/6p08gw/girls_find_me_extremely_boring/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/girls-find-me-extremely-boring.1430827 https://theredarchive.com/post/1430827

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