Going out alone tonight

lockandlood · 2026-05-09T19:02:04+00:00

Avoid alcohol. Try to gain social momentum (state) at such a rate that you naturally keep up with everyone's lowered inhibitions.

Have 3 openers prepared. Write them down and keep it in your wallet. Then have a short story prepared so you can just start yapping if theres an awkward silence.

Walk in. Find the first man with alcohol and dap him up. I call this guy the anchor. Introduce yourself. And just be honest (say youve been at home for too long and decided to go out alone). Then tell him that you're gonna start talking to everyone and you'll rejoin him later. Repeat this process

If it's low noise environment (no blasting music), you can use the bartender as an anchor. Greet them. Order something. Make small talk and then leave saying "wish me luck."

As you go around talking to folks usually a few things can happen. You get adopted into small group of people. Or you get enough social momentum that you can approach girls.

If approsching a group you should always ask how does everyone know each other. If someone you've already met is talking to other people feel free to join them.

Pristineonk · 2026-05-09T18:35:05+00:00

I was kind of out alone last night

Went out with a friend but he left by 9pm so I decided to do some approaches and go it solo

I approached these 3 hot girls near the dancefloor. I opened the one I liked with some sort of observation that made her laugh. Made sure too avoid interviewing her and used some lines that I got from the pickup artist toddV to try to get some attraction. I was about to ask them how they knew each other, but just as I was about too, one of the girls whispered something to the girl I liked, and then the girl I like said' they all think you look like xxx' (xxx being a celebrity who i've never heard of as being called handsome and and some people say is ugly) and they started laughing lol.

I was like 'yeah, i've heard that few times' and laughed it off. I tried some other attraction material but she was barely talking back which made it harder and harder to come up with things to talk about, and the body language wasn't good at all so I decided I wasn’t her flavour visually and so I ejected. I heard someone in a pickup vid say you need to 'pass her eye test' haha.

I approach a girl who was hitting some random keys on the piano in the next pub and I started a little duet with her. I can play a bit. She was impressed and her and her mother started singing along as I played a new song. I got talking to her and she was very friendly and receptive, but she kind of rejected the frames every time I tried to make it a bit more man to woman as per Todds system. Decided to bail. Felt like she was a naturally social person but the sexual appeal wasn't there from her side

Made a direct approach on a girl in the same pub who lit up but said she had a boyfriend

Tried another direct approach on a girl in the outside area who kind of shot me down a bit and was a bit rude in her rejection, but not to worry.

Wimped out on approaching an absolute 10. Extremely pretty girl. Every opener felt 'weird' in my head in the moment and I was still thinking about the fairly ugly celebrity lookalike comparison haha

hope you have more luck than me! :)

Elegant-Wolf-12 · 2026-05-09T22:13:47+00:00

Just go out and try to connect to people. Don’t try to get laid. Go out to meet people. Because you’re not trying to seduce anyone, you don’t need to worry about any of that.

Here’s the real, magic secret trick. Seriously, but you have to really do it for it to work. When you first step into the bar or club or cafe, stop near the door and look around. You’ll surely feel anxious about how they’re going to judge or accept you. That’s natural. Now consider all the difficulties they’re having in their lives, right now. Now feel how you’d like them to feel good about themselves and good in the world. Feel into how you’d like them to be doing well, each of them. Feel it in your body, in your heart. Then go forward with that feeling. Return to it whenever you’re feeling anxious.

Then, go talk to people. Start by commenting on something that’s available to you both, like something on tv or the show you’re at or her jacket, or whatever. But make sure it’s a real question., something you’re actually interested in.

Then use questions to look at who they really are. Feel how you feel around different people. How are they feeling? What do they really care about, what gets them excited to be alive? What do they really despise? Just really get curious.

Relevant_Occasion_33 · 2026-05-09T18:30:58+00:00

Try starting out with talking to guys. Approach women once you’re warmed up socially.

Objective_Height9961 · 2026-05-09T18:41:18+00:00

Good luck brotha man. Alcohol is my first and main love so I don’t have any advice regarding that. Talking to the guys first sounds like a good idea. Just try to relax, I’m just as pent up as you man

abcsofattraction · 2026-05-09T18:49:55+00:00

Kickstarter Cheers opener works without alcohol. Get a glass of water at the bar, raise it to mid-chest, eye contact, smile, say "cheers to sobriety." She cheers back on autopilot, you introduce yourself, brief exchange, easy exit if you want.

The mechanic skips the part of your brain that freezes because it triggers a social reflex she already has. The opener is doing the heavy lifting before you've had to think about what to say.

The science behind the: Kickstarter Cheers opener and the science behind it.

Run ten of these tonight. By approach four or five the nerves drop and the rest of the night opens up.

Hyperto · 2026-05-09T22:00:45+00:00

Go Karaoke on your own imo

mgonzalias · 2026-05-09T20:48:16+00:00

Baby steps bro. Doesnt matter if you ask what time is it, etc talk to them until you short cut fear and slowly ask more or make more comments until you get a conversation going

professionalfumblr · 2026-05-09T23:05:34+00:00

I’m 26. I’ve been going out solo a lot over the last year or so. Honestly, it’s great. I’ve met friends that I still chat with and hang out with. If you frequent the same areas & places, you will run into people you’re familiar with, and it helps to create an overall positive experience. Lot’s of great unexpected things can happen if you’re willing to push yourself a bit. Don’t get me wrong though, it’s way too easy to also sit back and end up not chatting with anyone, and ultimately going home feeling displeased. So make it your goal just to talk with people and push yourself to be more outgoing. Good luck man! I’m also gonna be going out alone tonight, can’t wait!

Broad-Cranberry-9050 · 2026-05-11T16:40:13+00:00

Few tips:

- stop using Dating apps as your #1 way of meeting women. Go out, i think once you get past some initial nerves youll find it's way more fun even when you get rejected and gives you a bigger confidence boost. The apps are not a good representation of what it's like out there. WOmen are more selective in apps and there are 2x as many men in the apps as women. Think about it like this, if you went to a party and there was 100 men and 50 women what would happen is, the men would see how much of a sausage fest it was and try to talk to as much girls as possible. The women would have so much options that theyd just have their pick of the litter and be picky about it. Options is a powerful tool, that's what the apps basically are.

- Change how you dress. I think social skills are the #1 way of getting women but how you look helps a lot. A owman will decide she wont fuck you i fyou look poorly but if you look good she will keep the door wide open. So few things you can do is, buy clothes specifally for going out. Buy a bomber jacket, some new jeans, some plain clothes that match you skin tone. if you know women your age, ask them what makes you look good. Get a new haircut, grow your beard, wear cologne most times you go out, etc. It's like an interview, if you go in sweats you better be albert einstein, but if you go in a suit you dont have to be the smartest or the most charming. The better you look the less personality you need.

- Dont fall into the "women only want chads" line of thinking. That is not true for most women. THey want a guy who they think they are going to have a fun time around.

- Women go ou tfor fun, men go out to get laid, so be the guy that goes out for fun. Put your own enjoyment first. Be result independent. You are just as much of a prize as her. Go out, talk to men and women. Have a good time. Dont go cold turkey, social skills is a muscle you have to stretch. One of my friends was good at going out solo. he'd start talking to men when he got there to create that social comfort. Once he felt he was doing good he started talking to women. It's about showing them "im here for my own fun, it's your choice if you want to be part of it or not". Best way to know you are there is when you can walk away from someone cute where the covnersation is flowing well becuase that says that you care more about your own enjoyment than getting with her and in general people want to feel like they earned your affectuion.

- Dont put women on pedestals. You are a prize too. I started treating them like my bros. Because women get treated like glass vases their whole lives that when a guy doesnt do it they love it. So for me, i hype them up and what theyre wearing as an icebreaker "hey i like that outfit where'd you even find something like that?" because a statement like that basically says "i like you rpersonality and it shows in how you dress" without saying it.

- Learn to read body language, a woman will tell you what she is ok with you doing to her through body language. Test the waters, dont be afriad of pushback just be respectful if it happens. Only way to read body langauge is to test the waters. Start small and slowly increase.

- Do not assume waht women are thinking. I see guys shoot themselves int he foot with phrases like "she doesnt want to be bothered", or "i dont want her to think im a creep". Like forget that, you dont know this girl how do you know?. Honestly if you feel like you are doing too much just walk away and be conscious of that. Women dont mind if you approach they mind if you dont get the hint or if you get it and stay there.

Best-Yesterday1216 · 2026-05-10T07:40:55+00:00

UPDATE: i gotta get use to going out more and socializing.
I noticed the venue really matters to ne as in i wanna dance to reggaeton,hip hop, rnb music and or any music with nice rhythm. The demographic matters too because venues i pick. The crowd wasn’t really appealing because on average the people looked alot younger than me. I have a type honestly.
I tend to be drawn more to black(lightskin, brown skin sometimes dark but not always.) Spanish women because im black myself and prefer their ethnicity features.
I noticed that i drink caffeine to stay awake and that i am a shy dude with a mix of introvert and extrovert ways when the music and vibe is right.
Im not tryna sound racist but i noticed when i party the place really affects how much fun i have without liquor which i dont need. Now i know i need to practice my social skills and put myself out there more because i feel i dont stand out as much because im a shorter dude who is a lil chubby.
LONG STORY SHORT. I didn’t win anything or approach because i am mostly use to being under alcohol in those environments but being sober i notice that i need to warm up like you said and i need to be around the right demographic of people. I felt i look and is more mature than majority of the people i was around but i did see a couple that was younger that was attractive but im in my 30s and dont wanna be around old heads but woman who doesnt seem to mind an older dude with a young soul.
I fit in mainly because the music i played was popular with people my age group and mostly the hit makers like Drake and bad bunny was played and some other famous hit that millennials listen to growing up

ReindeerFun3762 · 2026-05-10T07:54:35+00:00

I was watching a nature documentary where a female sloth started making mating calls. The male sloth swam across a river to meet her but found a different sloth that already had a child. Then she did her mating calls again and he climbed up another tree. If a sloth can do it so can you!

MineDesperate2920 · 2026-05-10T21:24:28+00:00

Be social with everyone and do it right away. Going out alone is hard but can be done with success. I’ve pulled twice going out alone but I’ve been going out for years

Title	Going out alone tonight
Author	Best-Yesterday1216
Upvotes	71
Comments	31
Date	May 9, 2026 6:24 PM UTC (2 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1t8cq6a/going_out_alone_tonight/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/going-out-alone-tonight.1579999 https://theredarchive.com/post/1579999

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