Got ignored multiple times cold approaching

Kray-1 · 2022-03-22T11:47:27+00:00

This happens because you are nervous and you are probably speaking too fast and you're not convinced of what you are doing and you probably coming off as creepy and women won't stop for that. But keep approaching it will come to you naturally with experience, because when you approach you need to be calm , speak clearly, with a cheeky smile and not look like you you are about to snatch her bag. But all these things are easier said than done that's why you need to keep approaching.

JenantD80 · 2022-03-22T11:54:43+00:00

If someone randomly approaches me, say at a shopping centre or parking lot, I assume they're trying to sell me something or to sign mee up to a charity.

It might just be where you're approaching

Ok-Talk-4303 · 2022-03-22T12:38:56+00:00

That's awesome dude, because this is a chance to build your emotional resilience.

First of all, don't talk to them from behind. Catch up, walk next to them with an arm's length distance and make sure to speak loud and clearly enough.

Additionally, from your stories it doesn't sound like you approach many girls per session.

devHaitham · 2022-03-22T10:45:10+00:00

Dude, first, don't give up. Maybe those two girls were having either a bad day or were actually pretty toxic and you're better off without them. and second, it's all in the way you say it and cold approach, next time try to go in more boldly and strong and try to not approach her from behind. Either start walking next to her and then say Excuse me followed by your opening line. Whatever happens from thereon dont take it personally and dont let it bring you down. Remember, you're valuable :)

CompetitionFair7686 · 2022-03-22T12:40:19+00:00

I saw one girl, i sad excuse me to get her attention but she just started walking away, even though im pretty sure she heard me.

Dude, when you are cold approaching you need to get to the point fast, be far more loud, and expressive.

You say “excuse me” to try to get her attention… no dude when you cold approach you can’t just expect women to give you attention, just because you say excuse me.

You need to get to the point right away, like:

“Hey excuse me i have to ask you something real quick before i go, I just saw you and i thought you look really nice, so i wanted to find out if your personality is as nice as your looks… I’m Daniel”

Your body language also matters if you just try to approach someone from the sidelines, they are always gonna walk past you, you need to get in front of them so they stop walking and then you say what you have to say.

I saw a girl walkin in a Tesco car park and said excuse me from behind, like maybe 10-15 mins away. I doubt that she had earphones in although that could very well be a possibility. However, i feel like the first time i said excuse me she did kinda look back towards me, and midway looked back forward and started walking faster. (Keep in mind the car park wasn't completely abbandoned and there were other people there too).

Again dude, you approach in such a weak way. It’s like you want to approach but not really, you are too quiet, and scared of a reaction which is why girls just ignore you. You say “i’m not sure if they heard me” well that’s a problem, you should speak in such a way that it’s impossible to pretend that they didn’t hear you or see you.

This is why you need to speak 3 times louder than you are doing and getting in front of her, rather than talking to her from the sideline or from behind. If you want her attention you need a more dominant and confident attitude.

You are getting ignored because deep down you don’t want them to notice you are doing this.

It’s like yeah you want to do it but at the same time you feel that it’s better if they don’t notice me, which is why you speak quietly, and only try to approach from the side or from behind.

You need to bring attention to yourself, you need to get right there in front of her face, and speak louder and get to the point. Don’t do the “excuse me” thing like you are waiting for her to turn around and come to you. Go there, get in her way, and say what you have to say, get to the point

GhoulChaser · 2022-03-22T13:26:20+00:00

First things first stop saying excuse me. Just act stupid and work your way into the conversation. My go to is either asking for directions or asking for the time, that my phone died, and when they’re finished telling you, you have their attention and then you can say I didn’t really need it, i just wanted to get your attention and just say “ blah blah blah you look nice blah blah” would it be cool if i got your ig. So on and so fourth. We’re in 2022 females are not going to openly give out their numbers to a stranger unless they find them extremely attractive to them. Dress the part too. You need to look handsome well groomed if you’re planning on doing that aswell. Can’t look like a bum expecting a response. 80% of girls don’t see us regular guys we need to stand out with charm and charisma. Good luck.

TheCaribbeanRedditor · 2022-03-22T12:52:48+00:00

I can tell by your post that you probably havent calibrated your body language to make them comfortable with your approach.

Watch some videos on good approaches and model good body language.

Also - don't be disheartened by not succeeding at your first two approaches. Focus on what you've learned and put it in practice and you'll be continually improving.

Also remember - no woman owes you her time and attention. If she had to talk to every random guy who approached that would put a serious strain on HER time and resources- so if you do approach make sure it's in an interesting, confidant, but non- threatening manner.

Good job on approaching despite your anxiety.

VDKay · 2022-03-22T13:51:48+00:00

Lol. Where did you learn to cold-approach? I doubt anyone does that.

Always approach from the front. Never from side or back. That is too threatening and will trigger defense response. If a girl is walking, stand in front of her and make her stop or at least acknowledge your presence. If she is walking away, walk faster (dash if you must) to catch up and always place yourself in front of her before talking. If she still wants to walk away, let her go. But make sure you come in front of her and make her stop what she's doing even momentarily to acknowledge you.
Never excuse yourself and never ask if you can talk to her or ask a question. Cut to the chase right away. Grab her attention with a loud "hey", and then state what you want. No "I'm sorry". No "excuse me". No "can I ask you something". Simply go: "Hey!... I just saw you standing here and I just wanted to come and introduce myself. How are you? I'm Wiener."
Have a slight smile and be upbeat. If the first thing the girl sees is a shy or terrified face, her reaction will be defensive and will bail even before you start talking.
RAISE YOUR VOICE. Scream if you have to in loud settings. If you have even 1% doubt that they didn't hear you, then you were not speaking loudly enough.
Assume non-threatening and open body posture. Stick out your chest and stand upright. Consiously keep your shoulders rolled back and tuck-in your nerd-neck. Don't slouch, don't keep your hands in your pockets. Walk with confidence.

ItzXitadoow · 2022-03-22T10:51:45+00:00

I don't have much experience yet, but i'll leave you with my opinion. I'll take off, assuming that the first girl heard you and started walking faster. In that case it could really be many things, she could have like some kind of trauma, related to a stranger aproaching her, she could have read something that made her more cautious, aside from that, assuming that it was totally you, and remember this is hipotetical toughts, it could also be the vibe you're passing to her, the way you are acting and saying "excuse me", and the way you acted before, if she had already saw you just standing arround in that zone, and stuff, it can come off as a bit weird, much different from like she sees you're coming from doing something, from somewhere idk, and you saw her and decided to get to know her, and you should really be passing the vibe of a funny, friendly guy who just wants to get to know her AT FIRST if you give this vibe during all the talk you probably end up in the friend zone. Hope i could help

daddysgotanew · 2022-03-22T20:08:23+00:00

Welcome to not being good looking. If you were you wouldn’t have to resort to lame harassment like cold approach

bonix · 2022-03-22T11:50:53+00:00

[permanently deleted]

daddysgotanew · 2022-03-22T14:51:46+00:00

Cold approaching women is equivalent to having an empty can in your hand and walking around in hopes of getting some coins.

BagEmpty6931 · 2022-03-22T10:46:15+00:00

I have been ignored few times, too. Bad feeling. You must work on it and make sure you get your response even if you have to repeat yourself. Confidence is all that - I will get my response and deal with it no matter what kind od response I get.

SonOfSatan · 2022-03-22T15:49:16+00:00

Never approach a woman from behind, square up in front of her. Also if you're "pretty sure" she heard you, you weren't projecting your voice enough, there should be no question.

Lastly, congratulate yourself for having the balls to do this, and don't stop.

MO_drps_knwldg · 2022-03-23T01:36:57+00:00

If you emit creepy, nervous energy women will naturally have their defenses up.

First, get into a more confident state of mind where you are actually having fun. Always have a natural smile and say something like “This is really random, but...” as an ice breaker.

Title	Got ignored multiple times cold approaching
Author	JustMeAndMyWiener
Upvotes	13
Comments	34
Date	March 22, 2022 10:29 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/tjzwew/got_ignored_multiple_times_cold_approaching/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/got-ignored-multiple-times-cold-approaching.1263974 https://theredarchive.com/post/1263974

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