Help

thebalancedon · 2022-01-08T02:27:39+00:00

You're scared to cold approach because you're worried about the outcome. You want the interaction to go well. Which is natural but unrealistic.

What you should do instead is just work on having a general conversation, same as you would with a guy. Don't even start cold approaching with any intention to date. Instead, walk up to a woman and ask her what time it is or where the closest burger joint is. Just something non-romantic.

Then you can work up to romantic escalation. But the main thing to work on in general is the mindset of "how do I get her to like me?" That needs to change to "let me find out if I like her beyond how she looks." Eventually, you'll realize the only opinion that really matters is yours.

Ok-Physics5106 · 2022-01-08T02:46:59+00:00

Improve your outer appearance as much as possible.

Gain 10 pounds of muscle and lose fat get to 10-12 bf at a good weight.

Whiten/ straighten your teeth.

Get amazing style clothing pick up an gq issue and copy. Use r/mensfashion as a guide. Fit is everything.

Get an awesome hairstyle.

Smell good.

Smile.

This is a good start I bet 100% you dont have this in order. These things will give you real confidence.

Havocnumbanine · 2022-01-08T01:52:38+00:00

Bro your scared to do everything, what advice do you want? Ask yourself this question. Maybe reread what you just posted. I like to find solutions so best I can give you is start from the bottom (strength your mentality, get in the gym to gain confidence as well as better your diet)

Thatpillinibiza · 2022-01-08T03:18:49+00:00

Rejection is the best thing for us. Without it, one cannot learn to pull. Baby steps

MetaphysicPhilosophy · 2022-01-08T08:54:08+00:00

You got some things you gotta work on my man. From the sound of things, you probably tried online dating once. Online dating is trial and error. You likely were doing something wrong if you had no success. Don’t just do something once and then give up. That is what we call a “quitter mindset”. In terms of cold approach, just do it. I personally would much rather be rejected a couple times and meet one good girl than be alone for the rest of my life. The clock is ticking man. We won’t be here forever.

MA_CA_NV_CA · 2022-01-08T06:23:52+00:00

For someone with this much social anxiety my advice is to start in the kiddy pool. Goto meetups and join clubs that involve hobbies and interests that you genuinely enjoy. If you are doing something you love and are passionate about you will be yourself, your confidence will be higher and you won’t be there just to meet women. This will get you into the habit of socializing like a normal human being. The next step is to socialize with attractive women exactly the same as you socialize with other humans.

IllegalUsername69 · 2022-01-08T07:42:59+00:00

Have you tried therapy? Could help

Substantial_Smell_72 · 2022-01-08T08:11:44+00:00

Same age and I’ve been relationships but can’t keep them and I still struggle with this. The only answer for us is to actually go out and talk to women, it like others, we expect an outcome like a number or a date or even a smile but it’s better just to talk and be natural even if it’s awkward or bad, the next interaction will be better as a result.

Good luck man, all we can do is our best but I have come a long ways on my own journey with learning social skills and dating but still have a long way to go.

So my advice to you is to not waste any more time and get after it. Gym and skateboarding has saved my life at age 24

Altruistic_Flow_9253 · 2022-01-08T08:30:31+00:00

Bro get comfortable talking with guys, have hobbies and enjoy your life, work out of your comfort zone doing things that surprise you. Ever tried hitting up the city nightlife by yourself? That’s ballsy. Ultimately it comes down to pushing yourself out of comfort. Pick up hobbies for instance such as gym work, reading, chess, watching self help YouTubers. It’s not impossible to break out of it. You will have more luck when you start feeling you’re the prize and it’s take it or leave it, if she doesn’t want you who the f cares learn and go onto the next. Fix yourself up to be the best version you can be

shusain2991 · 2022-01-08T08:47:04+00:00

Take it as a game..

loofyd · 2022-01-08T09:04:02+00:00

Well at least you're not scared of getting caught by nearby boyfriends and getting killed because of cold approaching

So that should help

temideej · 2022-01-08T10:05:19+00:00

How i got over my fear of cold approaches was to say to myself, "they don't know me, if it goes bad, that's the last time they'll see me," so I have nothing to lose. But as most comments have said, watch self help videos, get fit if you aren't, Just ensure to put your best foot out there.

IceBerg3000 · 2022-01-08T04:28:37+00:00

It’s simpler then you think.

This whole thing with money, muscles, & females is a lifestyle.

The fun part is the journey. The build up. The moment you look back and say holy shit I just tried to fuck this chick’s mom and I failed. The moments where you invest all the time and money into stocks and fail. The moment you drop all the weights on the side of the bench press at the gym because your weak and by yourself.

That’s the fun shit playboy, you only have one life. Failing is part of learning.

Try, fail, study what happened. Rinse and repeat.

You will only get better if YOU want to get better.

Billieclide · 2022-01-08T03:15:29+00:00

Grow some balls

burncushlikewood · 2022-01-08T05:19:28+00:00

Dawg you were born the same year as me! 1994 was the year. But yea dude definitely start doing some reading and watching, then do some cold approaches, I used to be a hopeless virgin but I turned it around because of the manosphere. I was a late bloomer but I lost my v card when I was 16 almost 17. If you need some good material to get you started. Watch the tv show the pick up artist with matador, Tara, and mystery. Learn mystery method, read the game by Neil strauss, buy Pandora's box by vin dicarlo, buy rsd Todds the system, then watch some Richard la ruina videos. Also hit the gym, and update your wardrobe, you don't need to dress like a clown just put on some plain nice clothes

banditjuice · 2022-01-08T05:54:18+00:00

Become gay

CompetitionFair7686 · 2022-01-08T02:10:43+00:00

Man, if only you knew how much self development you need to do, you would be so overwhelmed.

You need to develop social skills, confidence, a not give a fuck attitude, learning to get rid of your ego,… pff… so much stuff that’s gonna take years just to get girls

stanthemilkman88 · 2022-01-08T04:59:12+00:00

Are you in shape? Are you pro social? Do you have stuff going on? Can you support yourself?

Sup3rHD · 2022-01-08T15:22:47+00:00

Stop social media
Stop porn and masturbating
Go to the gym
Take good photo for online dating
Improve your look to be more confident to talk to a girl in real life

Title	Help
Author	AdAccomplished4439
Upvotes	37
Comments	31
Date	January 8, 2022 1:03 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/rynb15/help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/help.1269474 https://theredarchive.com/post/1269474

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