how bad are guys typically at not being themselves and trying to show the girl a fake life they don't really live?

kalz44 · 2020-05-17T13:03:53+00:00

I don’t think being fake is sustainable over a long period of time (1-2 months).

eazolan · 2020-05-17T15:39:40+00:00

How bad are girls at making themselves look better than they really are?

smoothmax · 2020-05-17T15:06:40+00:00

Being convincingly interesting, fun, entertaining with a sexy vibe is impossible to fake and if you are that guy it's also impossible for women not to notice.

Why would anyone want to fake or in any way try to impress women with their material achievements? Unless they want to attract gold diggers.

Phuffu · 2020-05-17T08:45:15+00:00

Well if you just hooking up with her then it's not bad at all,l. It's bad if you want her to be your gf or really close to each others

TheIrishBAMF · 2020-05-17T17:35:55+00:00

It's common in poor quality relationships. Fake guys get women susceptible to falling for fake guys. These women tend to value appearances over substance, much like the guys they end up with. With toxic relationships like this there is the constant battle with staying with someone you have similarities with to objectively knowing it's a relationship with poor foundations. The scale usually tips when people favor beening seen as right and not having made a mistake by being with whoever they are with. Then it's a lifetime of lies and bullshit masked nowadays by Facebook fawning and overcompensating displays of affection. I've seen it with coworkers who complain nonstop about their SOs and then their Facebook pages are strictly lovey dovey crap.

I'm simplifying, but the general points are there.

dahMezoh · 2020-05-17T13:48:19+00:00

Good Bad guys don't do that. That sh*t is whack. Only nice guys do that.

alexdiezg · 2020-05-17T17:38:04+00:00

I know a bloke who does some "fake it 'till you make it" for ONS only.

sasasasa101 · 2020-05-17T18:02:11+00:00

Imho, i think men have always faked it, everyone does. We try to consort to the norms of the society which tells you to fall back into a set of behaviour pattern and doesn’t let you be yourself. So, what i believe is that if a good guy (who is naturally a good guy) pretends to be a bad will fail miserably at it and a bad guy or like a happy go lucky guy(?) (i dont like the bad guy thing) will fail miserably when he tries to play by the rules as they’re not being themselves! Idk if it makes sense or not. (Sorry for shitty english, its not my first language)

avakadava · 2020-05-17T15:42:39+00:00

I've had a guy lie about using steroids saying it used to be something he did in the past but not now, when he actually was still doing it. He also lied saying he was doing medical school classes but in fact he'd put that degree on hold.

Another guy I dated said his name was John and he was from France and he was a non smoker. The truth was he was from Lebanon and his name was Ibrahim. And he was a smoker

Another guy lied to me that hed deactivated his Facebook account, when through my investigation I saw that he did in fact have a FB account. It wasn't like he was actively using it, it was just that he still had a photo of his ex with him on his profile picture that he hadn't taken down (he's an introvert and doesn't like being put in the limelight, which would've have probably happened if he removed that pic of her)

That was 3 of the 5 guys I've gone on dates with/been talking to

So yea I feel like it happens pretty often

davidvalentin1 · 2020-05-17T15:04:35+00:00

Basically everyone does this to some extent. It’s not just for girls too. We want to fit in into society and be validated by others so we sometimes subconscious show a fake side of us l. A lot of us are never really truly being ourselves.

Due-Average · 2020-05-17T17:33:00+00:00

F 25 here. One of my ex s lied about just about everything. He still does a bit and his mom told me he'd always done that. However, I care about him still and I understand why he does it. That doesn't make it okay. He hasn't been accepted or truly loved by anyone but me, I know his past & his dad is a total piece of shit that I hate & his mom isn't great either. She told him when he did aomething wrong and she was mad that she didn't love him at that moment. So fucked up. I explained to him often back when we were dating that I always Love him, I may dislike what he did and be mad for a bit but I always will love him. I accept him as he is 💜

MemphisBro · 2020-05-17T17:34:57+00:00

Very common. We are pretty good at it usually. We live in a house we cant afford but can get by making the payments, drive a car that won’t be paid off for years, but on the surface we look super successful

winston_cage · 2020-05-17T17:48:58+00:00

Personally, I put on a confident, well articulated and make conversation the first 3 times I go on a date, slowly showing my goofy side when I see fit. It works because the girls that did not end up sticking did admit they liked having a conversation instead of having to guess everything because another guy automatically assumed they knew everything guys know. I’ve kept a lot more friends w benefits and hook up partners this way too

tracysreddits · 2020-05-17T18:04:21+00:00

My first date with some one was January 10th. By Feb 1st I first got glimpses of his “real” life, which was very unhealthy. He was an alcoholic that seemed to only control his drinking around me. He’d lie to make himself seem responsible and healthier. Like, at first said he meal prepped and went to the gym daily, when in reality he ate fast food two meals a day and would get into the vodka every day after work.

I believe his insecurities made him lash out on me, and put me down. Also, I’m an avid hiker and outdoors person, to which he claimed to be as well, but in the 5 weeks I dated him he came up with any and every excuse to bail or hijack my plans. He didn’t want me to go out of town and would come up with a reason why and it was just toxic.

In the end, I couldn’t get over the fact that he lied about how much he’d been drinking. From Friday night to Sunday evening he’d drink two bottles of vodka, even wake up and take a shot and would come back to bed and kiss me and he stunk of it. Then denied it. The lying and all that, is so crazy. Because the sweet, open minded, responsible guy I met, he wasn’t real. He couldn’t keep up with the facade.

As well, he made it very hard to break up. Weeks and weeks of calls and begging and then he’d say “so, you really want to break up? Is that what you’re really getting to?” And id say “We broke up two weeks ago. I’ve been saying this loud and clearly every single day. I don’t understand what you don’t understand. I’m single.” And that would spiral into threats.

I don’t want to date anymore. I can’t go through breaking up with a mad man who doesn’t want to break up. It’s scary. So, FWB again for a long time.

manonpoint_com · 2020-05-17T15:50:00+00:00

It varies, but a lot of this stuff isn't just for the girl. Like making money and getting a good job? That's something you should be striving for anyways.

mr_Tobbor · 2020-05-17T10:19:18+00:00

Is there anyone effectively doing this? I can't believe it. Someone who is an actor may be. Even Mystery just played himself in his famous pick ups.

Title	how bad are guys typically at not being themselves and trying to show the girl a fake life they don't really live?
Author	bayfarm
Upvotes	89
Comments	61
Date	May 17, 2020 8:41 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/glc2h6/how_bad_are_guys_typically_at_not_being/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-bad-are-guys-typically-at-not-being-themselves.1495799 https://theredarchive.com/post/1495799

Comments