How do people flirt so easily?

getyourshineon · 2010-11-23T17:45:55+00:00

i know this sounds silly, but the biggest breakthrough point for me was realizing that it's OKAY if someone knows you're attracted to them. Just have it in your head that you're attracted to the girl while you're talking about her, and imagine that you know for a fact she's really into you too. Try to just talk to her as a cool chick you know, but keep it in the back of your mind that you two are going to tear each other's clothes off later, and exactly the right amount of sexiness will start to happen pretty naturally.

bigrjsuto · 2010-11-23T16:11:00+00:00

Here's a couple simple points:

When talking to a girl, talk to her like you know she was to fuck you, and she'll start to think it. It's about body language, and if you believe it, you will exude it. She will feel that.
Touch (kino). Hand, shoulder, lower back. A quick touch, nothing long and try to feel relaxed doing it. It will be hard at first, but they're humans too, and humans like interaction.
Practice. Just try it. Being good at flirting means you've flirted with more women that probably have flirted with you. It means you're comfortable and confident that she most likely will fuck you.
Relax. Nothing is make or break in this world. Not succeeding with one girl (or several) does not end your chances forever. Even guys who know how to flirt go on 'dry streaks.' No one is perfect all the time.

"Usually, the first answer that comes to your head is the right one."

This is true with your body. Humans are hardwired to have sex. Your higher brain is hindering that with 'thinking.' If you have to think about what to do, it's too late/it will come off weird/she won't feel comfortable. I don't care if it's the hottest girl I've seen all night and she's talking to me. If I feel like I'm forcing it, I don't do it. If it's not genuine, people know.

madworld · 2010-11-23T15:24:53+00:00

Practice practice practice! Everywhere you go just talk to people... Don't even think of it as flirting... just talk to people... Young people, old people... When you get comfortable talking to anybody, then you'll have come a long way to talking to people you are interested in sexually.

new_player · 2010-11-23T15:18:53+00:00

"I basically have to analyze everything that she's doing, figure out what to do in my head"

Stop this. Stop it right fucking now. You are getting friend zoned because you're trying to steer the interaction in a manner that you think they'll like as opposed to being a confident person. It really doesn't matter what you say or do when you flirt, but how you project yourself both as a confident and sexual person.

W1n · 2010-11-23T12:52:48+00:00

Have some alcohol, will stop the over analysing, make you more relaxed, and give you some confidence, which is always good.

Just dont have too much

BlauRobo · 2010-11-23T17:48:29+00:00

Just flirt with everyone, it will change the way you interact with people, and when there's a girl you're actually interested in, it will come more naturally. Also, don't worry about analyzing what a girl is doing, just worry about yourself and have fun!

squeeeee · 2010-11-23T18:37:22+00:00

There are only two goals to keep in mind when flirting: (1) make the other person feel comfortable and (2) make the other person smile. The difficult part of this is feeling confident enough to know that you're capable of doing so. Any feelings of inadequecy will affect your delivery; its negative impact will be blatant and will inevitably throw off the other party.

Analysis is definitely required. To make the other person feel comfortable, you have to acknowledge their limits. To make the other person smile, you have to recognize their interests. For example, (speaking as a female with "geek"-related interests), I really don't like being called "baby" or anything of the like in a high-energy environment like a bar or a club. In contrast, I really, really enjoyed it when a boy denied my request to ditch his computer science lecture because he found Markov Chains hotter than me.

Keep practicing. You'll get better at reading the other person.

apocalyptic · 2010-11-23T22:57:05+00:00

I've read through a few of your responses here...nothing works because of your frame of mine. Think you're unattractive and your body language and "twitches" become unattractive; think otherwise and the opposite happens.

Try working on your inner game, and take time out to sort out the following:

Your core values
Your identity & Archetype
Lifestyle & Status
Grooming & Body Language

The above points should address why a woman is attracted to you. If it doesn't sound good, work on it.

"Outer game" or the routines and flirtations, canned or otherwise is merely a portrait of your identity and values.

TideNinja · 2010-11-23T21:09:47+00:00

1 rule for practice: Care nothing for the outcome. Best policy I would say is apathy... it works or it doesn't. Just watch how they react to what you say, and how its said.

Gregman · 2010-11-23T11:43:30+00:00

immediately getting me friend-zoned

explain.

2010-11-23T15:00:41+00:00

You're trying too hard. Stop analyzing so much at the moment and just go with it.

Do the analyzing afterwards. What could have you done better? What did you do wrong (to turn her off, or kill the flirting)? The only boundaries for flirting are you and her, ignore everything else.

It comes easy to some people because it's almost like riding a bike. At first you suck, but after awhile you're like "lol you don't know how to ride a bike!?"

My best advice for you is stop reading this crap and go out and try. You're looking too much into it and the best way for you to learn is to practice. You WILL fail at first. Guaranteed. You just need to learn to ride without training wheels.

RedErin · 2010-11-23T15:40:38+00:00

All it takes is a bit of study and a bit of practice. Hang out here a while.

ROFLGene · 2010-11-24T20:39:11+00:00

When you want something, you go for it. If you're actually interested in this girl, and you don't wanna talk about the weather, you let her know.

Girls will always be scared, but don't let that stop you. If they're getting scared, why the hell does that scare you? Go for it. Let them know you're not looking for a study buddy. You want to take them down. Do this with taste, though.

And don't always expect something from it; every girl isn't going to go for you. Just feel good that you made a someone feel special that day.

desh00 · 2010-11-23T20:03:22+00:00

I'm not a PUA, but for some reason flirting was never a problem to me. You should just feel free to talk about intimate and sexual topics. If you have a friend who is a girl, you can practice it on her (for fun of course). Flirting with a strange girl is just a few steps from there.

philosarapter · 2010-11-23T17:35:03+00:00

Stop thinking with your brain and start thinking with your dick...

Its hard to explain how to flirt.. it all starts with the need to touch her and then is followed by a rational reason or excuse that allows you to touch her in a socially acceptable way.

Instead of overthinking everything, just stare at her ass for a little bit and then concoct a plan that allows you to touch it. If you enjoy female contact enough, your brain will figure something out quickly enough, you just have to overcome your shyness to take action. "You've been a bad girl! spank" viola. A flirt.

Observe animals and how they bite each other playfully, that is essentially flirting. Just nips and jabs at each other to test the tenacity and boundaries of the other person.

Title	How do people flirt so easily?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	32
Comments	87
Date	November 23, 2010 11:34 AM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/eagyq/how_do_people_flirt_so_easily/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-people-flirt-so-easily.1313174 https://theredarchive.com/post/1313174

Comments

1 rule for practice: Care nothing for the outcome. Best policy I would say is apathy... it works or it doesn't. Just watch how they react to what you say, and how its said.