How do you ‘kill’ oneitis?

hulk_hogans_nutsweat · 2021-10-15T14:53:45+00:00

You need to ask her out. She’ll either say yes or no (consider any version of “maybe” to be a no). You’ll have your answer and then you can move on from there. If you don’t ask her out, then your oneitis could end up consuming you. And just remember: while you’re busy sitting there in your bedroom on Saturday night wishing you could work up the courage to ask her out, she’s busy riding Chad’s 12” dick, having the time of her life, and not thinking about you at all.

Second, you need abundance. Talk to more women and go out with them. Eventually this girl will be on the back of your mind and if she realizes she likes you, then you’ll be one deciding whether she’s worth your time, not the other way around.

harmonic- · 2021-10-15T17:27:07+00:00

Dude there's nothing wrong with having a crush on a girl, it's totally normal imo. But trying to directly control your feelings is futile; our emotions are involuntary reactions.

What you can do is accept some truths:

You can't control whether she'll like you. Outside of presenting yourself well, you can't control whether you'll share the same sense of humor, or whether she'll like your style and personality. So stressing about saying the 'perfect thing' or trying too hard to win her over is pointless.
If she doesn't like you, it's probably because you were incompatible. When you've had the experience of meeting women who you instantly hit it off with, who spending time with is fun and natural, you won't want to settle for women you have to perform and adjust your personality for. This is why people harp on it being a numbers game, so you can get out there and see that actually there are lots of women you shouldn't want to date because you don't enjoy their company.

no_not_this · 2021-10-15T15:43:02+00:00

My god man. Grow some balls and ask her out and stop posting this shit. If she says no you get to move on and won’t have onitis. If she says yes you will date for a bit and she will dump you because you have no frame. Both outcomes will solve your issue. Talk to more women. Have you ever had a girlfriend before?

hotrod427 · 2021-10-15T16:58:17+00:00

Just ask her out dude. Ask her if she’d like to go get some drinks with you or something.

If she seems unsure or says straight up no, then move on.

cale199 · 2021-10-15T19:08:23+00:00

I was obsessing over a girl til I got rejected. Turned out I was obsessing over the fact i didn't know. Legit I didn't think about her afterwards.

TheSunshineMan · 2021-10-15T14:33:21+00:00

Incredibly simple..

Talk to more girls, go on more dates, have sex with more girls.

There's 4,000,000,000 (billion) women in the world..

No excuses.

Exciting-Candle2753 · 2021-10-15T15:22:41+00:00

bang a girl equally as hot as her.

Problem is that might not be possible depending on your looks and stuff haha

But even banging any girls can help, tbh. Approach a tonne and it's possible you could get lucky. That's the whole point of game/cold approach. Good luck

IGetBoredSometimes23 · 2021-10-16T04:11:15+00:00

Ask her out.

You don't have oneitis. You like the woman. That's all it is.

Ask her out.

If she says yes, awesome. If she says no, you can move on.

UnparliamentaryTea · 2021-10-15T21:18:11+00:00

Hey man, I’ve experienced a similar thing with a coworker recently. Work from home meant we are almost never in the office together and we’d been working in different cities until a few months back. She was all excited for me to move and is really flirty and fun in person, kind of touchy and did a lot of things I’d normally consider hints.

Of course I was excited, I was in a new city and was already meeting other women, but especially this one stuck out. Then we started texting more, and a few things stood out as negatives (beyond that we work together). For one thing, she is always traveling or on the go. Concerts or festivals, vacations, random trips. She will say “you should come,” but even if she is serious, I’m definitely more interested in getting to know my new local scene. The other thing is that she is very intermittent with her flirting and attention. In person, she is fairly consistently flirty. Over text, she might be flirty, text me first, or respond quickly, then may take an hour to respond and give me more serious replies. Never super dry, just intermittent. These two things specifically remind me of some girl friends I have with a seriously avoidant attachment style. Among other things, I realized that I don’t really like that.

Once I realized that I may be very attracted to her, but I’m not sure how much I really like her, she just became a cute coworker in my head. Try to think of ways that you don’t like this girl, and ways you are not compatible. Also meet lots of other women too. I had a lot of other options I had left on the back burner who are equally, if not more compatible with me, and many are objectively more attractive than the one I was falling into the one-itis trap. That does not mean you shouldn’t pursue her, but don’t think of her as any more special than any other girl unless she shows as much enthusiasm as you have for her to you, or even more. Trust me, you deserve to have your energy matched, it’s not worth it to waste it

TheBurgessChurchill · 2021-10-16T02:45:59+00:00

This is my response to another question that was similar to yours. I hope it helps.

This is going to sound "new agey" but I strongly believe that we're all connected and always communicating to people. So if you are needy, or obsessed with a girl, even if you don't display it in your behaviour, she can still sense it and it will make her run.

The more you detach, the more she'll come running to you instead of away from you and if she decides she doesn't want to be with you then that's okay too. I'm not the type of guy that talks about energy and that type of stuff but I believe that when you come from a place of wanting the best for someone, and having an abundance mentality, it will make you more attractive not only to her but to everyone. People can sense it.

This is a change that has to happen internally. If you try to bullshit yourself or others, they will sense it. If you ever notice yourself thinking about her just say to yourself, "If you're ready to come into my life, that's okay and if you're not that's okay too". Truly believe that. BUT... with that being said, sometimes the best move is to just talk to her and get it out of your system. Whatever you do, don't indulge in your fantasies. That's a quick way to fuck yourself up.

Burgess

cunningcaring · 2021-10-16T03:14:13+00:00

Unless you are a sociopath, oneitis is normal.

Narcan9 · 2021-10-15T19:45:26+00:00

That's why it's good to be multi dating. Keep 3 women in the loop that you date and have romantic connection with. Be very slow and cautious about going exclusive.

Having things not work or losing one of three is much less stressful than losing the only one you're involved with.

m0rb33d · 2021-10-17T23:37:50+00:00

Be more of a man

3SidedDie · 2021-10-15T19:43:19+00:00

Use oneitats or twoetis /j

TheBookOfSeil · 2021-10-16T00:07:27+00:00

Find out why you have it.

Is it inexperience? Is it immaturity? Is it desperation? Is it a belief like "all men/women are wonderful and special?" Some of these things are correlated but some are not. It's up to you to gauge what the problem is and fix it by getting more dating experience, more life experience, or more self-confidence.

Title	How do you ‘kill’ oneitis?
Author	150420throwaway
Upvotes	43
Comments	32
Date	October 15, 2021 2:25 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/q8pjl2/how_do_you_kill_oneitis/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-kill-oneitis.1274288 https://theredarchive.com/post/1274288

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