How does one ask out a server

ApprehensiveEmploy21 · 2025-05-05T18:12:31+00:00

HTTP GET request

markemusic · 2025-05-05T14:47:33+00:00

No do not do a note. You're jumping way too ahead. Instead just strike up a conversation and get to know her first. She could be with someone else already. She could be crazy. Don't base someone you want to date solely off looks but personality and actions. If you do it that way, you're in it for the wrong reasons. If you're looking for casual you gotta go with a nightlife and leave the servers alone

Western-Month-3877 · 2025-05-05T15:35:21+00:00

You do not leave a note when you can verbally talk to a woman. This is what happens when hollywood movies are the only ones teaching men about seduction. Talk. Talk. Talk.

therealwoujo · 2025-05-05T14:55:48+00:00

Don't. Unless she shows you extreme interest, don't hit on her. She is literally being paid to be nice to you, and you are mistaking that for interest because you have so much scarcity.

18yoboob · 2025-05-05T19:18:13+00:00

start with small talks first.. then you can ask her nicely..

RodneyMcIroncock · 2025-05-05T14:42:57+00:00

Leave your number, maybe a brief written message, and don't say another word about it. They'll reach out if interested.

WhatsTheAnswerDude · 2025-05-05T19:41:07+00:00

Worked food and bev for years.

Notes NEVER work bro.

Become a regular at least for a bit or so or find out what she likes and then try to say, would u ever wanna go do XYZ activity she likes at XYZ place.

Basically become a decent customer at least somewhat and get to get things out of the restaurant.

Realistic-Load-1302 · 2025-05-05T21:02:33+00:00

Best move is to treat her like a regular human first, not a target. Next time you go, keep things light—make a casual comment about something in the bar, ask a playful question, build a vibe. No pressure, just light familiarity.

When you do that two or three times, then you can say something like “Hey, I like your energy, would be fun to get a drink sometime when you’re off duty” — and hand her your number with a smile. If she’s into it, she’ll text. If not, no harm done.

Don’t try to “convince” her. Just make the idea of seeing you outside work feel like a natural next step.

geekpron · 2025-05-06T00:48:24+00:00

you don't. I feel like this is the last place you should ask anyone out at. How would you feel if someone you had to be nice to because it's your job was asking you out?

TheCuriousBread · 2025-05-06T02:34:01+00:00

Bro, she's literally paid to be nice to you.

JackSquirts · 2025-05-07T23:53:50+00:00

Chat, flirt, escalate. Pull the rip cord if she's not fully engaging. Servers get hit on all the time, so be mindful that she's paid to be nice to you.

GaryOak7 · 2025-05-05T15:38:54+00:00

Wouldn’t bother unless she was asking personal questions during the engagement.

This is almost like trying to date a stripper. They’re just cordial because it’s their job.

liftingnstuff · 2025-05-05T16:35:17+00:00

You flirt with her in person. If she reciprocates beyond the typical "service industry employee working for tips" level, you escalate the flirting, if she continues to reciprocate, you say "we should keep this conversation going over a drink when you're not working". If she's interested, you set up the date, if she's not, you move on.

If she doesn't reciprocate the flirting you can just not escalate further. The awkwardness of "flirted with a server at my local bar and she didn't flirt back" is a lot, lot less than asked out a server at my local bar and she said no"

AggravatingPlum4301 · 2025-05-05T20:11:45+00:00

Yes, leave a note! I'm sure her coworkers could use a good laugh!

dont-mind-me-chillin · 2025-05-05T15:07:17+00:00

Leave your phone # in the check

Struboob · 2025-05-05T15:08:44+00:00

I think leaving a note is fine, just go into it knowing you have no control over whether or not she reaches out. I recently gave a note with my name and number on it to a waitress/hostess, I told her I thought she was super cute, and didn’t want to leave without at least giving it to her. She never reached out, I’ve been back, she’s served me since, I just act like none of it happened. Also, if she doesn’t reach out, I wouldn’t bring it up unless she does (which she most likely won’t). That’s going to make things weird and most likely push her even farther away.

Title	How does one ask out a server
Author	DependentDisaster
Upvotes	5
Comments	32
Date	May 5, 2025 2:39 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1kfd8te/how_does_one_ask_out_a_server/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-does-one-ask-out-a-server.1551507 https://theredarchive.com/post/1551507

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