I need help learning to touch people.

ImmortalWarBear · 2012-01-22T06:33:31+00:00

If it is somebody you are dating and are trying to hold their hand for the first time, "THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOUR HAND!, then grab their hand (not to forcefully) look in their palm and say, "oh, its just empty".

Its cheesy, but it always gets a smile and laugh

Paul_Langton · 2012-01-22T06:04:01+00:00

And now I realize that when she tried to get me to show her my nails, I shouldn't have refused the several attempts she gave..

2012-01-22T03:30:21+00:00

[permanently deleted]

cody_au · 2012-01-22T02:45:52+00:00

You'll probably need someone experienced in your area to show you in real life.

But the long and short of it is your hand should be on them, and stay on them for most of the time, from about 30s onwards. Anything else is doing it wrong.

Xstream2 · 2012-01-22T08:44:32+00:00

Its honestly the exact same feeling/process as learning to approach, it feels very uncomfortable at first, but after you do it enough you realize that the girls don't freak out (like you pictured in your mind), same goes for eye contact, just keep doing it... you'll have to force yourself at first but it becomes super instinctive and natural VERY quickly once you realize its no big deal

marco161091 · 2012-01-22T09:02:04+00:00

If you're wondering whether you should do something (like touching her arm, grabbing her by the waist, etc), you should most probably go ahead and do it.

You might exceed the comfort zone of some girls but eventually you'll calibrate yourself.

Just make sure that the first time you touch some new body part, don't let your touch linger. And escalate from there.

Also, take a look at the DiCarlo escalation ladder. Google it. It's a free ebook.

MetaSnow · 2012-01-22T04:47:57+00:00

I have always gone for the shoulder or hand touch very quickly and lightly. As long as no negative reaction is perceived, I will go for anything else I want. This is also day game. In the club, I basically start wherever except for the face and neck. Lower back is almost always a good start for any part of conversation.

30vanquish · 2012-01-22T07:05:12+00:00

It's something I need to work on too but one of my biggest successes was when a girl had a watch on and I took her wrist near her watch and said: "Let's see if you're good with the time. What time is it?" And I cover her watch and hold it. Good KINO tactic.

AdverbVerb · 2012-01-22T20:48:48+00:00

Just because you FEEL creepy doesn't mean you ARE creepy. If a girl is interested or even neutral, she'll just go with it.

Clasp both hands when you shake, touch her on her shoulder to introduce yourself, grab an arm or wrist, etc. to look at her watch/ nail varnish or whatever.

If you think it's creepy, you'll make it creepy. even if you learn how to do the simple things, you have to get out of the mindset of thinking it's creepy.

zkatkin · 2012-01-22T06:20:06+00:00

Just try it... you can even make it a point of making it overt if you do it playfully...

revbobdobbs · 2012-01-22T11:39:01+00:00

Take dance lessons.

Do latin dance. Do contact improve.

You already know how to touch people naturally. It's just that that ability is repressed in you. Learning to dance with other bodies will help you get comfortable with them.

Edgar_Allan_Rich · 2012-01-23T05:17:57+00:00

Everything posted thus far is gold. I'd like to add that touching is more accepted in certain situations. Fun situations, hell yeah, no holds barred unless they, well, bar you. Day game is different and that is where you need an "excuse" or game or something. Once that threshold has been breached though, you're good.

No matter what though, make sure the touch is CONFIDENT. A half-ass touch is a sign of nervousness that will be interpreted negatively without her actually thinking about it.

2012-01-29T01:29:54+00:00

Just do it. Start w/ light touching on shoulder and kino from there, or like tap her arm to get her attention.

It takes baby steps, but eventually it will feel fine and normal.

It only feels creepy to you. Seriously it is all in your head.

ImmortalWarBear · 2012-01-22T06:40:09+00:00

lol just read the topic title and burst into laughter

Title	I need help learning to touch people.
Author	wtjones
Upvotes	25
Comments	22
Date	January 22, 2012 1:49 AM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/oqxan/i_need_help_learning_to_touch_people/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-need-help-learning-to-touch-people.1327320 https://theredarchive.com/post/1327320

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