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[–]revralph89 32 points33 points34 points 5 years ago (29 children) | Copy Link
I'm going to be 100% with you man, if you are here for a pity party brace yourself. If you purely think your height is the ultimate make or break for you, you need to pull your head out, and get a reality check (I mean this in the best way). Life doesn't give a flying fck about your looks, genetics, or status. It can flat out be a cold and brutal world. With that being said, your determination for success or failure is 100% in your head period. I'm 5'5", 31, have a slightly thinning hairline, and a somewhat husky build if I'm not managing my weight. I am by no means an advanced person, but I can say beyond any question that confidence is the end all be all determinant. Everyone in the world wishes they could tweak themselves in someway, but sincerely go fck that belief out of existence, it won't serve you. It's not that you aren't attractive or worthy enough, it's purely that you don't see yourself as attractive or worthy enough. Don't give up hope. You have many more years of life ahead of you, with plenty of time to grow and learn. Find a social group who you can build yourself up around. Being attractive is a mentality first, and a physical characteristic second. You're always worth the investment. Get better, not bitter.
[–]verymichaelsl10 points 5 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
I feel your pain. I really do. If you didn't win all star genetics and you're on dating apps then it's a waste of time. However, I'm barely 5'7 and been in the game over almost 14 years. I started when I out at 16. Check out my IG - verymichaelsl , I have built a life that is rock star quality.
I'm here to say that during the last decade I have witnessed and have personally known model quality men who do horrible with girls. They either creep them out, say / do stupid shit, or are completely invisible. I'm being 100% honest.
I built my career out in LA. In the Hollywood scene from 2012-2018. I'll never forget this one guy who hang out when the same group I was in when I was going out to various clubs. He was an actual Calvin K model.
Right hand to god, he couldn't get laid in a whore house. It was shocking at first but after awhile I became used to the fact "good looks" don't directly = getting laid. They are a tool (if you have them) that can help a ton but like any tool, if not used properly then it's useless. I have known many guys like this. So I'm telling you it's not a magic cure.
There are so many other things you can do to build value as man that will make you more attractive. Also you have to think of a different traffic source other than tinder, because even for me it sucks. Getting girls is hard, it takes work like anything worth having. You may not ever be a "Michael Jordan" of the game, doesn't mean you can't make some 3 pointers or even some dunks.
[–]existentialhack1 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
A good looking guy telling you that looks don't matter.
[–]verymichaelsl1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I didn't say they didn't matter. They do, but they are not the magic pill. On dating apps yes, looks are 90% of the game. This is why you have to get more creative if apps are failing for you. For example, I personally know a ton of "average" looking guys that have great instagram accounts that displays their value. That alone allows them to meet girls without having to directly be on a dating app.
[–]Aeon199 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago* (7 children) | Copy Link
And what does all that mean, in the face of what he said?
He put up 2 profiles of Model-type guys acting depressed, autistic, no career, and got attention left and right.
Whereas with his profile he acted "as himself" (in other words, following the advice you gave there, 'be yourself and comfortable as oneself') and got nothing at all besides rejection.
So this comment of yours doesn't ring true. A very short guy is probably not going to get any attention unless he's very well-paid or has high-status. All the short guys I know who get cool woman, are professionals or bring home many baskets of bread, etc. It really is all about the more "surface" attributes when it comes to men in the meat market; if you happen to have enough of those already, then you can bring out confidence. You don't get to have confidence if you don't have enough going for you, though.. you see?
[–]revralph89 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I have a lot of thoughts on this to be honest.
Firstly, all this ultimately means that regardless of your situation In life all you can do is make the best out of any situation. I want to uplift anyone who's down and having doubt, at the same time I will always be honest and blunt to a point.
there is a giant difference between "being yourself" and "being your best self". On an online dating app for sure it's all at face value, but I refuse to believe for any second that one variable like that will ultimately determine your success rate. If that is the case though there's a solution, go out and meet people.
Finally, I am a very short guy by most conventional standard, and although I do have my life together, I by no means bring in serious cash. There have a been a number of others to share their stories, and insecurities. Everyone has them, and the minute you can drop your ego, and play the cards you have to the best of your ability you will next to guaranteed become attractive. I have been out and seen guys shorter than me, older than me, significantly fatter than me, even heard of a paraplegic pulling (3rd hand story). The point is using whatever external factor is to guard ones ego, and confirm their bias. We all fall into it at times, but it's important to break through.
[–]CleanReach617 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You have the right mindset
[–]RedEyeBlackEye1 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
True,finally somebody else(besides me) can see that.
Game,swagger,charisma(3 things I preach daily on these subs) comes into play only AFTER your height,face,body,perceived status,and visible weatlh is evaluated by these chicks.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
it is truth though
[–]Aeon199 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
No it's not true.
For instance, an autistic guy in his 30s, with few credentials, no job, or whatever, can accept himself all he wants. Still, no woman will be interested... do you understand?
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
A very short guy is probably not going to get any attention unless he's very well-paid or has high-status.
What I meant about "truth" is this sentence not " It's not that you aren't attractive or worthy enough, it's purely that you don't see yourself as attractive or worthy enough. " for most ugly/short/unattratctive people this sentence is false and they will just have to cope with it.
WHat I meant by " it is truth though " is "what you said is true"
I'm just stating the truth: these days if you can't get 180cm and/or (depending on what country) it's game over for you
Some people just aren't cut out for dating and I saw many in my HS/college. it's truth though
[–]Aeon199 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Why do you want to agree with someone negative like me, then?
I was actually hoping you would disagree and claim the guy I was replying to was correct, that it's all about confidence and how you see yourself.
I may say negative things, but I'd rather not actually believe them, you see? I need hope, man.
[–]backagainfortha1time 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Save your self righteous bullshit for someone else.
If the "89" in your username signifies your DOB, you're of an entirely different generation and have no idea what it's like for the young men of today.
[–]revralph89 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
How do you figure? I still go out man.
[–]Dontmindthewalls-6 points 5 years ago [recovered] (14 children) | Copy Link
“I’m 5’5 and successful therefore anyone can do it it too, despite the statistics”
Personal anecdote and survivorship bias, example
“I used to be a starving person in Africa and I’m not anymore anyone can get out of poverty, despite the statistics”
“Find a social group” The social group isn’t so social whenever I’m around
[–]revralph89 11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link
I'm not going to get in a back and forth. I wish the best for you man, sincerely.
[–]Dontmindthewalls-5 points 5 years ago* [recovered] (12 children) | Copy Link
I’m not trying to go back and forwards either, I’m just admitting the reality of my situation
[–]revralph89 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
Look man if you want to have a genuine conversation because you're in a funk feel free to message me. We all have moments where we get down. However I refuse to accept anyone is permanently in a spot where they can't better themselves despite the odds. It's mentality my brother.
[–]Dontmindthewalls-1 points 5 years ago* [recovered] (10 children) | Copy Link
How is it exactly mentality when 94% of women 5’4 women (the average height for a woman in the Us) will reject a 5’4 just for his height alone?
[–]dodger5257 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
not gonna lie if you had other personality traits, women would overlook the height, i’m 6’4 and hate when women ask me how tall i am, because i know they’re just gonna be like, ohhhh your that tall woww, so i started lying about my height, saying i’m 5’8 to every chick i meet online so i actually have to win her over. surprise surprise women pay more attention to your personality and can fall for you if you engage in convos with them and learn about them, not everyone just wants to date someone for looks and height, and if the women your looking to date only cares about height and looks, she’s the wrong one. s
[–]Dontmindthewalls-1 points 5 years ago* [recovered] (6 children) | Copy Link
Would you like to be 5’2 or 6’4?
[–]dodger5257 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
if i was 5’2 i’d find some real females that would love me for me not for my height
[–]Aeon199 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
But they don't exist. They only want the height or the bread, etc.
[–]dodger52571 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
yeah it’s really like that, that’s why i don’t chase girls, sure the chances i score with a chick go dramatically down but ik the girl defiantly wanted it if she hmu first
[–]Aeon1991 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
If a guy is below 6 foot in this day and age, they're not going to hit him up first, though
looks like i’m not getting any sex then, big shame, i’m not very sex or relationship driven so it doesn’t bother me that much
[–][deleted]1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
you're in the wrong sub. I think you're looking for r/incel
[–]existentialhack1 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
i’m 6’4
LOL
[–]dodger5257 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
?
[–]anyJose 13 points14 points15 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Dude I’m 6 feet tall and I’m still getting rejected by girls bro.
[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Same but it's because I'm duller than rusted iron and have all the charm and flirtatiousness of a rock.
My looks and body are improving because I bust my ass to make sure I get those down. Stay on your purpose comrade and try to figure out what you do wrong in the way of personality.
[–]Dontmindthewalls6 points 5 years ago* [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
Would you trade for being 5’2?
[–]anyJose 10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Nah I’m good.
[–]throwawayofc1112 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah same here because I’m an ugly fucker
[–]Andrew54321 11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
LMFAO.
Are you short on iq too?
You go on an app where the only information to work with is physical appearance. Then you put on MODELS. I guess you compare your cooking to michelin starred meals too eh buddy.
[–]MrSerious96x 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Don't give up.. keep looking, someone will like you eventually. Be yourself and thats it, I'm alone at the moment but I know one or two girls who I can tell have a thing for me, but since I don't feel the same I might as well not waste their time nor mine
[–]Nivajoe 8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This sub doesn't really care for pity parties.
[–]Ralphunkadelic 8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Bruh try dating Latina women. They always go for short dudes! Also, check out the study of physiognomy. You’re short, you can’t change that, but there’s a lot of other things you can do to look more attractive.
Seems like when you did the experiment you did 2 accounts who really stood out. Even if they didn’t seem like “dating material” they stood out because they had a lot of personality. Just take things about yourself and exaggerate and conflate them. Kind of like peacocking yourself. You usually have to be “out there” for people to notice you, especially with online dating.
[–]Aeon199 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Latin women may like short dudes, but they also require said dude to be "highly social, extroverted" dude otherwise they think the guy is strange or second-rate. I guess it's a cultural thing
[–]unclesamny 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You’re the only one that can save yourself bro. I’m sure most of the other guys here (myself included) weren’t born with the natural extrovert stud gene. Those guys aren’t on this forum. However, for the rest of us that actually took matters into our own hands and put in the real work, we can safely say that things do get better with time and effort. This area of life is tough trust me and it goes deeper on an inner level due to the fact that it forces you to face your flaws and defects. No one is perfect I promise you. Going forward, you can either be a victim and give up or be a hero and own that shit.
Trust me I’ve seen puas that have literally been talking to a girls tits, that’s how short they are. They just don’t let that shit phase them. You should do the same. This is all a mental head game. You are enough. Go out and sort it out for yourself with real experience. You’ll see what I’m talking about.
[–]BillPDating 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
One of the ugliest, shortest guys I ever knew was also one of my best, most fun wingmen. Dude pulled like crazy with shorter girls, but also had a great personality, decent style, was jacked, and good career (wealth).
So no, your height/looks aren't what's holding you back. You are.
[–]Dontmindthewalls1 points 5 years ago* [recovered] (4 children) | Copy Link
A personal anecdote/suvivorship bias.
Your one example does not define every short guy out there
[–]BillPDating 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Whatever man. If you keep telling yourself the story that your height prevents you from getting women, they'll have no choice but to agree
[–]Dontmindthewalls3 points 5 years ago* [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
If height doesn’t matter why is it the first question women ask and why do I get blocked when I answer it?
If height doesn’t matter, why do 94% of women reject men for being “too short”
A man's height determines his dating pool. Over 94% of women reject men for being "too short"
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But “WhAtEvEr MAn”, would you like to trade places with me and be 5’2?
[–]BillPDating 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ok
[–]tropicislandexplorer 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Wow, I love how elaborate your experiments were!
I did the same type of thing on POF a few years back. There was this girl I was chatting with, she was really wishy washy with me, really busy anytime I asked her on a date.
I make a burner account, with an attractive looking dude, try talking to her and all of the sudden SHE'S PURSUING ME! Ends up asking what I like to do, and when I might want to go out.
It made me angry and hurt in the moment, but it also made me not feel like such a loser. It's all superficial. There was nothing wrong with my personality, 95% of it is just based on looks.
[–]Aeon199 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Well then what are you going to do, just whine about it and give up since you don't look like the Shad on your burner? If it's that unfair, why try at all?
I mean look where you're going with that logic and your experiments. Everyone knows folks like a "shiny" man or woman, but if it's not you, then it doesn't pay to "wish" you could have their share... it only makes you envious and bitter. Stop comparing and get out there, dude. If you can't get them to approach you like a Shad, you have to take the bull by the horns, and do the approaching yourself. It's a skill to be learned.
[–]skld2assassin 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Must suck man get buff af so you could be short and ugly but buff af that could work if not then consider buying a puppy to care for.
[–]XXXinner 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
After reading your post and all the comments, my dude, I got to tell you that you are just overthinking everything and just looking at the negative side of things. I have a friend and she's dating someone that's a lot shorter than her, and I talked to the guy and all he said was that he was himself around her. I talked to my friend as well and she said that she liked his personality above everything else. This was all before COVID, and they met each other in person, but even then, personality will always overcome all traits. I understand what you are saying and going through because I went through the same thing as you did. I'm Asian, and most women aren't too keen about dating Asian men and I've gotten rejected many many times. What I learned from this, that when someone doesn't like you for who you are then they aren't meant for you. Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't give a damn about what you have and willing to put in the effort to make it work?
I know it's very deteriorating when we get rejected or aren't given a chance, but the reason why we react like this is because our ego got hurt. I know, "Ego? What ego are you talking about? I don't have ego, because I already know that I'm not that good looking of a person." As I said before, I went through and thought the same thing as you did, and was looking for reasons through various dating articles or any online support, which is why we're here on Reddit. After receiving all the information that I could intake, I finally understood that everything online was just bullshit just to make yourself into someone you're not. Also, everyone had their own preference in how to talk to women and keep them interested in you. In my opinion, just keep being yourself because someone will accept you for who you are, so don't be too negative about it. What I also learned from online dating is that it's nothing but an insecure way of meeting someone, but it really shows the weeds from the wheats, what's real and what's not.
We've all been there my friend, and not just guys but girls too, and we all have to learn and understand that we can't make EVERYONE like us, but we can make someone like us. Just got to keep moving forward and keep trying. There are 7.8 billion people in the world, at least half of them are women, and a quarter of them are still single, same goes for men, so the pool of opportunity is still pretty vast for every individual that's single. I'm gonna quote this from a Youtube video, but what they say is true. As human beings, we are raised to believe that being good will bring about good, but sometimes life doesn't happen the way we want when we want, but I do believe that good things will eventually happen to good people. That's how you deal with all the sucky stuff in the mean time that will make all the differences in your life. You can't really just say "screw it all" when something bad happens because that isn't helping out your future. I know it's really hard, but try not to get jaded. Use these experiences to make a better version of yourself, and try not to take it out on the girls in the process.
[–]UnsuitableTrademark 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (35 children) | Copy Link
“I’m done”
Bro you’re literally the type who needs this shit most lol
[–]Dontmindthewalls2 points 5 years ago* [recovered] (34 children) | Copy Link
How do I “need this shit the most”? it’s ineffective if you are ugly and short.
[–]UnsuitableTrademark 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago* (33 children) | Copy Link
Cus your mindset is toxic af rn. No one gonna want you even if you grow a couple inches and workout. Gotta work on both, simultaneously
FYI there’s a Instagram model who’s bf is like 5’2
[–]Dontmindthewalls2 points 5 years ago* [recovered] (32 children) | Copy Link
Okay so you named a RICH and FAMOUS person, they are an outlier, your one example does not set the standard for all the rest of the 5’2 guys.
My mindset isn’t toxic for being aware of the reality of my situation
[–]UnsuitableTrademark 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (31 children) | Copy Link
Also, get off the dating apps.
[–]Dontmindthewalls2 points 5 years ago* [recovered] (30 children) | Copy Link
Nothing changed before I used dating apps, dating apps and real life are essentially the same thing
[–]UnsuitableTrademark 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (25 children) | Copy Link
Oh, I could go for days on the differences. Huge.
[–]Dontmindthewalls2 points 5 years ago* [recovered] (24 children) | Copy Link
https://qz.com/1546677/around-40-of-us-couples-now-first-meet-online/amp/
[–]UnsuitableTrademark 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (23 children) | Copy Link
Not reading the article. But I can bet it doesn’t go into female / male dynamics on dating apps vs real world.
[–]Dontmindthewalls2 points 5 years ago* [recovered] (22 children) | Copy Link
I’d argue that old is essentially the same thing as irl, just a magnifying glass.
Old is essentially the same thing because in irl, a “left swipe” is just women ignoring you when you try to Talk with them (either because you are short, balding, the wrong race, ugly, or a combination of these factors)
Also if you read the article, you would have learned that 40% of American couples now meet by various forms of online dating, and is most definitely is growing rapidly due to the the covid-19 pandemic
[–]UnsuitableTrademark2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
You are judged purely on what you look like on dating apps. Looks / height carry more weight. Irl they still do, but a lot less. A solid presence and friendly people goes a long way, to the point where height, race, etc become less important. I could make a video on this stuff, I might. Doesn’t even matter what the general public is doing, if you have spectacular people skills and know a basic understanding of how attraction works... you can really go a long way.
[–]Dontmindthewalls1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Except that your LOOKS comes before your Personality and hobbies, while they are still important, a girl isn’t going to want to get to know you if she can’t stand the sight of you.
A man's personality only matters to a woman if he meets her basic looks cutoff first
Women feel sexual disgust when they imagine even talking to an unattractive man
Yeah, I think you gotta look good.
But more like “good enough”. They don’t put the same degree of importance on physicality as you do. For guys, we put tons of importance on them. Huuuge emphasis on looks as part of attraction process. For women, looks are still important, but not as important as you just made it seem.
You just reiterated my entire point, I am AWARE that I don’t look good enough AND I am 5’2. The majority of women will refuse to date a man their own height (the average height for a woman is 5’4).
Stulp et al (2013) used a sample of 5782 North American speed-daters making 128,104 choices to determine preferences for partner height and how height influenced the formation of a match. They found that women were most likely to choose a speed-dater 25 cm taller than themselves, whereas men were most likely to choose women only 7 cm shorter than themselves. As a consequence, matches were most likely at an intermediate height difference (19 cm) that differed significantly from the preferred height difference of both sexes.
Their data can be further analyzed to provide data about women's height cutoffs, the benefit of each inch of height for a man, and the degree of competition each man faces based on his height.
1) Cutoffs:
Their findings demonstrated the cutoffs at which women consider a man too short or too tall:
90% of women will reject a man who is 5'4" based solely on his height. 65% of women will reject a man who is 5'7" based solely on his height. 50% of women will reject a man who is 5'8" based solely on his height. 14% of women will reject a man who is 5'10" based solely on his height. 1.5% of women will reject a man who is 6' based solely on his height. Past 6'2", women begin to increase rejections of men for being too tall. 30% of women believe there is no such thing as a man being "too tall." Over 94% of women will reject a man solely for him being too short.
Further analysis of their data demonstrates the importance of every inch of height for men, as two inches of height gain for a man can be found to have the following results:
A man in the 5'4-5'6" range will have more than double the potential number of female partners with 2" height gain. A 5'4" man will have 2.3 times as many potential female partners by gaining 2" height. A 5'7" man will have 1.86 times as many potential female partners by gaining 2" height. Benefits become insignificant past 5'10". Below 5'1" a 2" height gain also makes an insignificant difference, as even after 2" gain, a man at this height is still "too short" for most women to consider.
Because the few women who are willing to date a shorter men are also generally willing to date a taller man as well, the competition for women willing to date shorter men becomes extremely high. This means:
A 5' man must "beat" over 12 men (most of whom will be taller) to get a girl accepting of his height. A 5'4" man will have to "beat" over 7 other men (most of whom will be taller) to get a girl accepting of his height. 5'10 to 6'4" men have the least competition as the demand for these men outpaces their supply, and statistically overall women must compete for these men rather than vice versa.
source 1
source 2
source 3
source 4
Not reading all that. Good luck out there — should stay positive and make sure your outlook is opportunistic about everything!
So you don’t pay attention to the facts, numbers, and data done by scientists over and over and you base your arguments on just one guy you know?
[–]UnsuitableTrademark1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
FYI where’s your research on personality, confidence, and presence? Aka non verbal communication?
I just gave you one on personality.
Being Ugly, combined with confidence and presence just makes women see you as a creep.
Why would I give you more research when you disregarded the links I just gave you?
This is you: “looks aren’t that important, height isn’t so important I need evidence.”
Me: provides Evidence
You: “not reading that lol”
How’s this all help you?
Making me aware of my options on how the world works, backed by hundreds of scientists studying human social and romantic dynamics worldwide.
How does you ignoring the studies but then asking for a different set (that you will likely ignore) help this conversation?
I think anecdotal experiences go a long way. Love science don’t but need it to explain or validate my world views and transitions I’ve made since being a rookie. I think there’s a lot of room to break rules and get away with it.
I agree that it does, let’s use your logic, for example racism does not exist, Obama was president.
Homelessness does not exist, I see people in houses all the time.
Starvation in Africa does not exist, I just saw a child eat and drink a few minutes ago.
Lung cancer isn’t so deadly, I know a guy that is still alive.
Fuck the statistics, I choose emotions and outliers over facts ;)
Don’t try to apply this to other areas of life. As it relates to social and dating dynamics, exclusively. You’re so over-analytical man lol
Well I’m just being realistic, that’s how the world works. Your essentially closing your eyes and saying “if I don’t see it, it must not be true”. I however,!accept the facts, it is what it is.
Ok so you got the facts then, now what you gonna do?
Make myself look as good as possible, a few surgeries here and there, save up for leg lengthening surgery since that is the most important.
Fun fact, the reason that the Dutch are tall is because the short women refused to reproduce with the short men while actively searching for tall women, just a few ticks short of eugenics but you probably won’t even click on the link anyway. If I ignore something, it must not exist ;).
The Dutch are tall because Dutch women wanted it so
Gooooood luck! Lol
If I ignore something, it must not exist lol
I really don’t think you’re going about it the right way man. You’re poking fun at me but I already got my game figured out. Those stats ain’t gonna help you.
They are helping, I’m being realistic with my options.
Unless you are saying you would like to trade places with me and be 5’2,if height isn’t so important?
I am 5’3. Hahaha. All odds say I fail but doing quite well tbh. That’s why I don’t pay attention to that stuff. Self belief, confidence, playful cockiness, and dressing decent go a loooooong way.
Self belief got no me nowhere
Me being confident got me being called a creep because I’m ugly, telling an ugly guy to just be “confident” is like pouring syrup on shit and calling it pancakes.
Cockiness when you are ugly gets you called an asshole
I dress well just to get told I make the brand name look like shit and I embarrass the brand.
But it’s still your personal anecdote against thousands of scientists, numbers, charts, and graphs done over and over again. which one is (logically) more believable?
All odds say that u fail but you are telling me (what I assuming be the truth) you have succeeded. Ever heard of the term called outlier?
[–]alwaysmooth 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
You literally could not be more wrong about this
They're two entirely different things
[–]Dontmindthewalls2 points 5 years ago* [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
So 40% of people meeting up by dating apps is two different things? Also old is very similar to irl
https://youtu.be/pF5Of13N4eI
[–]alwaysmooth 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
How are they even remotely similar? Just because a lot of people use the apps nowadays doesn't mean it's the best way to meet people. Especially if you're not an extremely attractive guy. It's more of a convenience/laziness thing for most people. That's why we're on this sub in the first place - to branch out and break free.
But keep watching your cringey blackpilled youtube videos and telling me I'm wrong. I'll be out in the real world meeting people.
They are not my videos, I’m just using them as an example, the evidence is backed up by thousands of data online.
Calling a video “shitty” doesn’t make it so
Would you like to trade places with me and be 5’2?
[–][deleted] 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]Dontmindthewalls1 points 5 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
All women have a form of social media, it doesn’t exactly have to be a dating app, I have plenty of friend groups with plenty of hobbies, it just so happens when I meet someone with similar interests to me, they are no longer interested in that hobby.
[–][deleted] 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You are seriously acting like I haven’t tried irl, which I did, same results
[–]Brainless-Wonder 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Tinder is a cesspit. Online dating in general is difficult.
If you want some consoling advice, a lot of it is based not even on looks, but appearances. Have a friend take some good, flattering photos and use pics from your vacations or times you did something exciting. Candids are the best for this. I’m not saying lie, I’m saying show off the best parts of your life to make yourself more attractive.
I’m short myself (5’6”) and I do okay on dating apps. Not going to pretend I’m a player, but I’ve got options. Try out Hinge if you like - being online dating, the quality level of the people is still going to be WILDLY variable, but it at least forces the two of you to talk to each other rather than solely liking a first glance photo. It also helps if you’ve got even a shred of a personality and aren’t creepy.
Sadly, depending on where you are real-life dating options may be very, very limited because of COVID. However, keep your head up! I’d suggest joining clubs and going to classes for skills (cooking, dance, martial arts, exercise, whatever else they have around you). Don’t always go with express intent to meet women, but go thinking you’re gonna get better at something. This way, you’ll have more skills under your belt with which you can feel more confident when talking to someone.
Good luck!
[–]aStonedPanda94 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If you believe in evolution, then it makes sense that women want to be with more physically attractive guys, but there are definitely women out there who much prefer a guy with a solid masculine and friendly personality over looks if you had to trade one for the other. Just keep putting yourself out there (in the real world not tinder because girls can’t tell your personality over an app) and just meet people.
[–]GoldSmith64 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Hey :)
Just wanted to remind you of your inherent worth as a valuable human being regardless of your physical attraction. I don’t know if you needed the reminder, but here it is regardless. Be well.
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Have you considered escorts? If it's just sex you want then it may be worth consodering until you, hopefully, find a suitable partner.
[–]Dontmindthewalls4 points 5 years ago [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
Escorts are illegal and I don’t just want sex
[–]tropicislandexplorer 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You could try dating internationally. Especially in Asia. Most of the women there have "white fetish" (if you're a white guy), and that would give you an advantage you don't have in the States. Check out pinalove.com, make a quick profile and you'll have no trouble talking to those girls. It's not uncommon to go somewhere like the Philippines and see an older white guy with girl in her twenties.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I can second this. I'm almost 55 and could date a dozen different women every month if I wanted to do so (don't have the time/energy and have a great partner right now). I moved to Mexico (short guys fit in here). As long as you're reasonably articulate and not a total douchebag and have a little disposable income you can date here no problem (it's a little harder in Asia I'm told as money is more important, same for Colombia, but here in Mexico there's tons of good women who love American expats of all ages).
Fair enough. Good luck, man.
[–][deleted] 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Dontmindthewalls5 points 5 years ago* [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
I’m not complaining, just being realistic, game is very unlikely to be effective if you are short and ugly, thanks for proving my point
[–]Its0ver4U 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You are 100% right. Most people on this subreddit that have success have no idea what "game" or "confidence" even means.
They just attribute their success in dating to "confidence" and "personality" when, in reality, their entire success can be attributed to their physical appearance.
I've been working on this shit for years, and I'm in a situation very similar to yourself.
The only advice that people give me is to "go to the gym" and "work on my hygiene."
Like bro... I've been going to the gym for 3+ years and I have perfect hygiene.
They act like I'm some sort of unwashed slob who doesn't go out and talk to people, but in reality, I'm probably putting more effort into approaching and self-improvement than the guys here who have tons of luck dating.
The brutal truth is that looks basically makeup 90% of your attraction in dating.
If you don't have looks, no amount of personality or confidence will ever get a woman to like you. I can personally attest to that fact.
If you have looks, you can basically have no personality or confidence and women will still be interested in you.
I've known guys that literally have never had jobs, were terrible and incredibly rude people, but they were tall and good-looking so they had zero problems with dating and finding people attracted to them.
It's really harsh, but it's the truth. Looks are tantamount to everything else when it comes to dating.
I'm literally planning on competing in bodybuilding shows soon and people here are telling me to get hobbies and go to the gym and change up my fashion?
Lmfao, it just shows how much people here have no actual solutions. This sub is basically copacetic garbage for people who think that confidence and game will get them laid.
You could be the most insecure and rude person, but be tall and good-looking, and still date with ease.
I've seen it happen and I'm sure that you have too.
I've watched girls go up and approach guys and basically do all of the talking themselves.
Meanwhile, there are guys here approaching 10 women per day getting rejected every time and they think that GAME had anything to do with them being rejected. No, their appearance was the reason that the got rejected.
[–]jsbach123 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
The problem is that you're dating on Tinder where you as a person is summed up by a bunch of numbers, words and a few photos.
Reading your replies to this thread, I can tell your attitude sucks horribly.
[–]Dontmindthewalls2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
How does my attitude suck for admitting that my looks and height matter?
[–]sadhak_x0 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I would move to a country where you are not short. You are the son of Earth, and you only have one life (I personally moved somewhere else for a job and later for an education cuz there was nothing at home). Time for an extreme solution.
[–]whatsupmynameisSofia 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’m so sorry, I feel for you. Our society is fucked up and there’s no doubt about that. It’s not fair and it’s not okay. However, It would be stupid to accept that that is it and you’re just not attractive. You don’t know how other people see you, people do find you attractive. Buttttt either way fuck people’s approval & attention you gotta be hot for yourself 😌
[–]throwawayofc1112 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Hey bro, I relate a lot. I don’t struggle with height like you, but I’m pretty ugly looking to be honest. I’m also a drug addict (recovering at the moment) with very few redeeming qualities. Girls seem repulsed by me too, the only good thing on me physically is high muscle mass and good body frame, but even then, I just look like a compensating gymcel. I’d like to think my personality is good, but fuck man, it’s not like these women will ever know, they don’t give me any chance. As a result of these things, I’m a 20 year old virgin.
At this point I’m trying to focus on myself; recovery, getting better grades, continuing to hit the gym, and enjoying time with my friends, but I still really really want to succeed in seduction.
[–]backagainfortha1time 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Oh no now you’re gonna get called a troll or incel because contrary to popular belief just because a attractive dude that hide his good looks under 600 lbs of fat and other bullshit managed to get girls by doing x doesn’t mean that that ugly mf in the corner is going to have the same results....... this shit should be common sense.
[–]converter-bot 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
600 lbs is 272.4 kg
[–]backagainfortha1time 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It’s okay to give up, shit like this isn’t meant for everyone and none of these fucking sheep and tell you different. I have a friend that loves basketball, but guess what? He is fucking trash. He’s been to training camps, hired coaches and after all that hard work he’s barely average at the sport. That’s not his fault that’s simply his peak, talent (aka good looks) will ALWAYS beat out “hard work”. The Disney complex is what keeps these monkeys from seeing the truth.
[–]SplitWrong5057 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Your short height is a sexual death sentence. Accept it and dont listen to the virtue signalling here. Especially if it comes from women. Every single one of them prefers tall man and is NOT attracted to short men. Dont listen to the game-myth or personality myth.
Just accept your situation. And guys who tell you that you need to work more on haircuts and games talk bullshit too. You have seen the dating studys and it makes sense to you. They just dont want to admit it.
© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.created by /u/dream-hunter
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