I'm very empathic and often act like a nice guy.

licht_the_leader · 2019-02-07T15:43:05+00:00

It's not bad to be good. Depends on what you're motives are.

From experience, I've learned that being too good all the time isn't ok, even if you are genuine. Because people think that you're a fool and will try to use you. Women are the best at this.

You can be good, but hold your cool at the same time. But this takes time..

lItsAutomaticl · 2019-02-07T17:13:41+00:00

The "nice guy" persona we love to hate isnt just a nice guy. He's a fool who either puts women on a pedestal and/or fakes being nice in order to get in their pants. There's nothing wrong at all with being a genuinely nice person with a healthy amount of self esteem.

ntipz011 · 2019-02-07T22:03:50+00:00

Read no more Mr nice guy bro

senddita · 2019-02-07T22:24:05+00:00

Empathy is one of the better skills you can have for social interaction imo, means you have some social intelligence and can say the right things. You just have to fine tune it - don’t change yourself for people, hold your frame, know your worth and you’ll be golden. There’s also a large degree of empathy in being charismatic and if that’s natural for you then that’s great, you won’t even need to think about it which is a fantastic quality

In regards to helping, help everyone but not at the total expense of your own needs, you matter as well. With women I would say don’t do it too much until you know them well enough because they need to earn that quality from you.

Despite popular belief, you really don’t need to be a wanker to achieve things in life.

actualMattD · 2019-02-07T22:27:08+00:00

I think it's very good to show empathy and to be nice. But you can also do it in a way that you are not denying or hiding that you are a man and that you find women attractive. I'm a very loving empathetic guy, and I'm also very much a nice guy (but not a Nice Guy™️.) But I'm also very masculine and all the women in my life know it if I'm attracted to them.

It's kind of a combination of being flirtatious and also very respectful and gentlemanly at the same time.

Whatever you do, don't try to be any less nice or caring.

Kenic_In_MD · 2019-02-07T17:32:04+00:00

Nothing wrong with being emphatic, but you gotta be able to protect yourself. If you show a girl that you do nothing but try to satisfy her your actions say that you dont respect yourself. How can anyone respect you if you dont respect yourself.

wizard216 · 2019-02-08T02:12:51+00:00

You need to focus on living in your own reality and making decisions based on what you want first.

participation-prize · 2019-02-07T22:38:02+00:00

The nice guy trap is thinking girls will notice what a great friend you are and will automatically want to fuck you if you hang around long enough. Nice guys are often anything but nice or empathic.

Keep being empathic and a good person. Those are really desirable traits! But DO make your sexual interest known to girls you want to be with. Be the guy who is empathic, good, and not afraid to express his sexual attraction.

I've dated a natural helper and he was impressive af. I remember we walking down the street, flirting, and right next to us some guy falls off of his bicycle. People were gawking, but my date didn't miss a beat, instantly picked up the bike, handed it back to the guy with a nod, and continued talking to me like nothing happened. Pretty cool move, and yes, he got laid :-)

niBBarion23 · 2019-02-07T23:28:33+00:00

So many people giving me advice. Thanks guys

2019-02-07T21:55:21+00:00

Nothing wrong to be nice, if you are not just doing it to get something back.

UMadBreaux · 2019-02-07T21:58:34+00:00

Maybe you have some issues with codependency?

Roly__Poly__ · 2019-02-07T23:15:05+00:00

Start figuring out ways to be mean-funny to people.

Simultaneously, learn to take their problem not-at-all seriously. Goad them about their problem: "Oh, gee, you sure can't enjoy the rest of your week with THAT looming over you!!!"

My suggestion is that you start overriding the "help someone" habit with the "enjoy their issue until they start enjoying themselves too and stop talking about it" habit, or a near-version of it. Not every time of course

PineappleGrandMaster · 2019-02-09T06:47:52+00:00

"Don't be me nice. Be mr right."

So basically just do what's right. Speak your mind.

gaums · 2019-02-07T14:20:57+00:00

The problem is that you are being a good guy. You have to be a good man.

Dangerfox_1 · 2019-02-07T20:04:01+00:00

Easiest way to change this is no PMO, I swear your testosterone will increase which will lead to you developing a greater degree of masculinity. You'll become more assertive, have less social anxiety, a more calm centered demeanor, and have less tolerance for nonsense. I was kinda like you, but be ready if you choose to do it because others will notice a change in your demeanor and most will not like it since they have grown accustomed to relying on you for material things and emotional support.

kellykebab · 2019-02-08T00:20:02+00:00

Just consider that most women have approximately 9 other people that they can consult with about their problems. You might think you have a meaningful rapport as a helper, but you probably don't. Also, in my experience, women tend to talk about "problems" that they're going to get over in about an hour anyway. So, it probably isn't that big of a deal. Guys don't tend to bring up their problems unless it is actually a pretty big personal issue.

AtIeeK_5i9 · 2019-02-07T20:37:28+00:00

Don't change that. Just don't get taken advantage of.

Title	I'm very empathic and often act like a nice guy.
Author	niBBarion23
Upvotes	28
Comments	20
Date	February 7, 2019 2:12 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ao44h6/im_very_empathic_and_often_act_like_a_nice_guy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/im-very-empathic-and-often-act-like-a-nice-guy.1461960 https://theredarchive.com/post/1461960

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