is confidence supposed to equal attraction?

Melodicmat · 2026-05-17T12:47:06+00:00

the answer is starring you all in the face lol

Looks get you the audition. Game is there to help you get the role. But if you're not her type (looks) then your 'game' is irrelevant to her

HotAir25 · 2026-05-17T17:55:29+00:00

I’m a good looking guy who is very shy- I regularly get very hot women chasing after me even though they know I’m shy….the point being they are interested because they find me attractive and they’ve worked out I’m attracted and the fact that I’m not confident is not a turn off at all- it might even be a turn on that a guy is being sincere…

I’m not saying lack of confidence is a good thing, but in my experience women don’t really care about confidence by itself.

norwegiandoggo · 2026-05-17T12:18:45+00:00

To make it simple to understand, here's how I see it:

TOP LEVEL: GAME (using social skills to seduce someone)

UNDER THIS UMBRELLA OF GAME: Applied confidence, flirting, teasing, escalating, humor etc. etc. They are all different social skills applied under the game-umbrella. They are just tools in the toolbox.

Then you asked essentially: Why does a man that shows confidence get rejected?

Answer: Because women aren't just responding to confidence. They're responding to almost everything about a man, and they have different tastes in men. Just having confidence alone can be enough for some women. But most women require a lot more than just that. Or they value other factors higher than confidence. Because women are not identical. They place different value on different qualities. Many women care about confidence, but many women also don't give a crap about that. They may value other things. Such as looks, honesty, career, commonalities, humor, cultural background, values, ambition, life goals etc. etc.

Key-Proud · 2026-05-17T15:27:46+00:00

it is more on who is chasing.

- Confidence and getting the girl to win you over = seduction

- Confidence with you chasing = creepy

It is more 70% inner game and 30% PUA technique

- Action applying PUA techniques and then getting reference experience also boost inner game

- Peeps who have abundance (having ample experiences) and people who have purpose in life have their inner game maxed out ... they then use technique to lead the interaction to the lay.

Matter_Still · 2026-05-17T15:40:21+00:00

You might've been the fifth guy today, maybe the 10th, in the past 24hours, who has seen the practice of “game” fail, and yet not one has questioned its assumptions.

Not one has asked, “Is it possible that teasing isn’t a great idea? Or push/pull?” And maybe ‘breaking rapport’ does more harm than good.

It’s really pretty astonishing. Stephen Hawking’s theories had more critics than Erick Markovick’s.

MineDesperate2920 · 2026-05-17T18:18:19+00:00

Confidence is a big part of it yes. But you can be confident and a cocky assjole and girls won’t like it. So still needs some proper game

HomelessMilkman · 2026-05-17T19:29:29+00:00

Simply, 'acting confident' and 'being confident' are two different things.

The woman might tell you "It took balls to approach" but acting through fear isnt confidence; many people like to define it that way but its not the same functional, masculine confidence that people are talking about that creates attraction.

If I come to the seduction subreddit and the top comments, the people supposedly claiming to be 'experienced' and are quite obviously full of shit can't tell you the difference; HERE in the one place you come to learn SAID EXACT THING. RIP.

eablokker · 2026-05-17T22:53:27+00:00

These are all oversimplifications and generalizations. Flirting is just one part of game. There's more to it than just flirting. Confidence helps with game but it's not the sum total of game. Yes when you apply confidence you get game, but it is possible to practice game without confidence.

Confidence is often an element of attraction but it's not the only one. Confidence is an emotional state of assurance, trusting, and free of doubt. Attraction often includes feeling trust, but it can also include connection, feeling safe and protected, sense of humor, excitement, and vulnerability. It varies. Each woman has their own unique attraction "recipe", but many of these ingredients are shared amongst many women.

I recommend asking women directly what attraction feels like to them. Ask them how they felt when they felt attracted to someone. What were the elements of the "vibe"? Confidence may or may not be in the list. More often, I have heard them say, connection, humor, kindness, and feeling safe and protected.

Terrible_Assist_1345 · 2026-05-18T09:51:07+00:00

Attraction is not something you can measure. depends very much on both persons, their appearence, their preferances, their self esteem, their mood at the moment, their past. You see? It depends on so many factors, but you can maximise the factors you have influence on such as self esteem, confidence, appearence, your mood.

OpinionThink481 · 2026-05-18T19:01:13+00:00

Think of it the opposite way. Insecurity destroys any attraction that is already there.

So you really have no other choice than being confident, not because it will guarantee every woman likes you, but rather because it’s the bare minimum to not lose a woman who already does like you.

wilhelmtherealm · 2026-05-17T12:36:14+00:00

When you're confidenent, you genuinely wouldn't care if the other person's attracted to you or not...

Which ironically makes them more attracted to you....

But then you don't care anyway and just navigate your life with joy 🤣

Title	is confidence supposed to equal attraction?
Author	Pristineonk
Upvotes	3
Comments	27
Date	May 17, 2026 11:55 AM UTC (2 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1tfng3p/is_confidence_supposed_to_equal_attraction/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-confidence-supposed-to-equal-attraction.1580575 https://theredarchive.com/post/1580575

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