I consider myself attractive. I’ve got people in my life who love me for who I am, and I’ve had chances to date — real ones. But either I wasn’t feeling the vibe at the time or I was too oblivious to realize what was in front of me.

Now? Lately, I’ve just been getting flaked on. Treated like I’m some background character that’s only good for attention. And that’s including people I’ve had romantic tension or history with. It hurts in a way that’s hard to explain. Like… I didn’t expect much, but I didn’t expect this either.

What messes me up more is that I start blaming my personality. I know comparison is a trap, but I see people with similar energy or “vibe” as me and they’re out here thriving — relationships, respect, actual connection. Meanwhile, I’m stuck in this loop. I approach people, I get numbers, and then it goes nowhere. Or worse — I get stares from girls who previously rejected me like they want to play some weird mental ping-pong now. What am I supposed to do with that?

My friends tell me, “Just be fully you. Trust me, a lot of people in our group think you’re dope — just lean into that.” And when they say it, it’s not pity. It’s confident. Like they mean it. But even when I am fully me, it doesn’t land. Or it does for a moment, and then my quirks start bleeding through. Like my mask slips. And the second I think I’m blending in, I realize I’m not.

I take pride in being different. Honestly, it’s the only thing I’ve ever really known how to do. But lately I’m wondering — is there a ceiling to that? Like yeah, be yourself… but is there a limit to how far that actually gets you?

Would love to hear from anyone who’s dealt with this or made it to the other side. Is it really just a matter of patience, or is there something deeper I’m not seeing?