I've been rejected around 25 - 30 times without any success did any of you go through this when starting out how did you keep motivated?

Banger91 · 2016-07-07T14:40:06+00:00

A master has failed more times than an amateur has even tried. Learn from each one. It's a marathon and a process of constant learning not a sprint to one 'how to'.

manslutalt · 2016-07-07T18:22:40+00:00

I didn't even approach 25 times before I changed tactics completely. The more I learned, the more things I realized I needed to work on. I started seeing sex workers to get rid of my insecurity about sex. I started lifting and eating better, socializing more, reading shitloads, traveling, improving myself and my life in various ways. In that process I met a lot of interesting people, had my first relationship, had lots of fun and a fair number of difficult days. Now I can actually relax and be comfortable when talking to a woman I want. Some of the time. I'm not desperate anymore, because I have gotten validation that I'm good enough. I still have work to do, especially on my seduction skills, but with my new confidence I'm not bothered that progress is slow. I finally enjoy the process.

tldr; Learn to love the process of learning

J_Dilla_ · 2016-07-07T17:11:08+00:00

If you really want women then rejection won't matter. Losers lose and stay defeated. Winners learn from their losses and come back stronger because they have that desire to win.

If you're questioning how to keep motivated then I think you need to revise your goals and why you are doing what you are doing. If you truly want women, an incredible sex life and some great experiences then that should be the only motivation you need.

“Winners are not afraid of losing. But losers are. Failure is part of the process of success. People who avoid failure also avoid success.”

TheXXL · 2016-07-07T13:14:51+00:00

It's like playing a video game, if you are determined to get the highscore you don't give up until you have it. Just take a step back sometimes, "recharge your battery" and then try again.

forseti_ · 2016-07-07T17:07:26+00:00

Something I struggle with again and again is outcome independence. When I have a day where every girl will reject me it's most of the time that I am outcome dependend. I want something to work and then I fuck it up. The best approaches happen if you are in the flow and everything comes just natural. But getting there is terrible hard especially if you have no experience.

What you can do is to set lower goals. Try to get 10 handshakes or 10 names. Try to get 10 hugs or 10 conversation that lasted at least 4 minutes. If you become more confident with this stuff, try to turn it sexual from the first minute. Tell her that you stopped her because she looks super sexy in her pants. You might creep 50% of the girls out, but that doesn't matter if you are truly outcome independend. Maybe give her a high five, then tell her that she is to sexy to just let her pass by. And by the way you can leave without the number. If it's to hard to keep the tension after such a move just which her a nice day and leave. Make it a fun experience for you.

Also try to record yourself, and when you go home be your own critic. Why did the girl freak out? Maybe you will discover that you speak in a Donald Duck voice or that you speak super fast. Maybe you say something mean or stupid that you didn't realise in this moment.

What's important is that you keep experimenting and reflecting on your approaches. If you do this you will have success.

TinkleThief · 2016-07-07T18:30:19+00:00

First of all, the fact that you can approach that many women is something that most guys are unable to do at all, so you're already FAR ahead of where other men are at. You should feel fucking awesome because of that.

That said, approaching 25-30 women without success (by that I assume you mean they are rejecting you) tells that there's probably something wrong with either your approach or maybe the environment you're approaching in. You should take some time to reflect on what message you're sending women when you talk to them, and also there could be a problem with your environment as well.

richie0777 · 2016-07-07T16:53:26+00:00

I feel like only people who have actually done this number of approaches should be commenting. When I first started I got rejected all the time. It was very hard to keep going so I stopped. Spent about year away from game. I lived life as normal- except I worked out a lot and built up a good wardrobe. When I started back up girls were much more receptive. It was a easier to deal with the rejections when I a sprinkle of success mixed in.

Itchyscratchypalms · 2016-07-07T18:22:52+00:00

I need more context. 25-30 times within what timeframe? What kind of environment were you approaching in? What was your general approach? How far along did you get? What is your definition of success?

LiberalPenguin · 2016-07-07T18:24:55+00:00

define success, please

NTSpike · 2016-07-07T22:01:41+00:00

How are these rejections happening? Is there no positive feedback at all? 25-30 approaches without a lay/solid phone number is reasonable, but to get absolutely nothing is indicative of you doing something very wrong.

shoganaiyo · 2016-07-07T23:13:59+00:00

Went through a few periods like that in my life. I don't remember staying motivated, each time I've been pretty freaking frustrated and found it really sapped my confidence and desire to keep going. A few times I've retreated into solitude to reflect and recover, sometimes days, weeks or months. I've just found I know too much now, I can't go back to being just an AFC so I just keep trying.

Justachillday · 2016-07-07T23:54:08+00:00

25-30?

i got rejected at least 1000 times when i first started

lawrent633 · 2016-07-07T13:44:11+00:00

First watch this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7U514hbGnGo

Then ask yourself if the way you are approaching women reflects your true, genuine self.

Then take a moment to ask yourself: what is it that, deep inside, I really want? Why is approaching women so important to me? Your experience will be different when you find the answer.

The_Pleasure_Is_Mine · 2016-07-07T20:36:26+00:00

This is vaguely related and I was half thinking about this today so bear with me.

I've recently started working as a street fundraiser, them people in the street with ipads you avoid all day.

Some days I'll go hours without someone speaking to me, let alone actually signing up, Its hard to keep your vibe up those days but the most important thing I've found is amusing myself.

Lose the care of how other people see you, you're looking for those one or two people who are willing to give you their time of day.

Some of the best conversations I've had are from people who were caught up in my energy and I feel this applies to seduction also, Ive had a few girls who were hooked on my every word just because I acted confident and had fun with them.

I feel Im rambling but I just hope this helps someone.

Conotocaurious85 · 2016-07-07T22:09:28+00:00

Something that made a huge impact for me was to record the audio from my approaches. I use that audio to get feedback on my progress. I benefit from:

Getting advice on the situation as it happened, not as I was able to recollect and convey it.
Noticed a billion mistakes I had no idea I made.
Have been able to measure the succes of my methodolody by comparing later approaches with early approaches.

Two is so so so so big, I can't even.

GeorgeAlexandru · 2016-07-07T15:25:24+00:00

You are doing something wrong, try to change something, maybe you are still too needy

Title	I've been rejected around 25 - 30 times without any success did any of you go through this when starting out how did you keep motivated?
Author	Footnob
Upvotes	15
Comments	36
Date	July 7, 2016 1:08 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/4rogij/ive_been_rejected_around_25_30_times_without_any/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/ive-been-rejected-around-25-30-times-without-any.1409236 https://theredarchive.com/post/1409236

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