Never chase a woman

DoubtAcceptable1296 · 2025-07-05T13:23:49+00:00

You’ve been chasing, got burned, and now you think detachment is power. I get it. But listen closely:

There’s a difference between confidence and fear of connection.

Yes, some women want attention, not love. And yes, chasing someone who isn’t interested is pathetic. But deciding never to care? That’s just another way of being afraid.

You think being cold makes you strong? No. Strength is being real, and knowing when to walk away without bitterness.

If she’s not showing you effort. Leave. Simple. But if she is, and you shut it down because you’re scared she’ll change her mind? That’s not power. That’s self-sabotage.

You can’t scare someone into respecting you. Respect comes when you stand in your truth not when you play games or act like she means nothing.

Oh, and calling women “bitches”? Please. That’s not alpha. That’s wounded little boy energy. Grow past it.

jackthehat6 · 2025-07-05T11:39:52+00:00

When a woman likes you its really easy

You cant convince anyone to like you

this the heart of it. Even the professional PUA coaches get rejected again and again despite their PUA techniqes and flirting and pushpull etc, and can never turn a clear 'no' too a yes. She makes up her mind within a split second and no PUA pro can change her mind as infields show

Far-End470 · 2025-07-05T15:51:47+00:00

“Be yourself” “I’m 23”

You have a long way to go. At least you’re on the right path.

Puzzleheaded_Gain493 · 2025-07-05T15:57:14+00:00

Women hardly ever chase , and the times they do it’s usually because there’s a clear difference in ‘value’ , good luck getting a 9 to chase 😂

Billy79 · 2025-07-05T12:25:40+00:00

Just pointing out that the exact same is communicated with swapped genders. If everyone follows through, nobody will ever approach or make an effort anymore.

Hopefully I will not be thrown back into the singles market anytime soon- it seems people are too afraid to form genuine connections anymore.

Minimum_Exchange_622 · 2025-07-05T12:30:28+00:00

'hen a woman likes you its really easy.'

Oh man, this cant be repeated enough boiiiss, remember this rule and this rule only, you don't need this fucking 'game' graphs and quantum physics of womanese, when she is into you you just be yourself whoever you are and nature will do its course. She does it for million years, modern times are the worst lets agree but those primal rules are still in charge of connecting women and man

HistorianOk2573 · 2025-07-05T15:56:16+00:00

You are confusing invititing with chasing.

Starting a conversation is inviting a woman to create something together without any specific goal in mind, and being detached from the final outcome because you are simply evaluating who she is as person, adn then determine if she is worth yoru time or not.

Chasing means you cahse a specific goal or outcome from the interaction with a woman, often pushing and performing to get there no matter what, even at the cost of your own personal integrity and standards, where you've already determined that you will give her your time no matter the cost.

- Nah its called protecting your heart my man. Its called preserving your energy for the bitches who deserve it and show you CONSISTENT respect. Absolutely any sign of resistance or friction u must walk away.

There are some truths you said, but this one is not because you are contradciting yourself without realising.

For a romantic or sexual relationship to blossom, it requires vulnerability from you and her. Being vulenrable means you are willing to put yourself in a position where your feelings could potentially get hurt because you have to trust your intuition, the uncertainty, the ambiguity, invest emotionally in a girl, and potentially lead to disspooinment in the end.

Notice that you say don't chase, but if you want consistency and clarity from a woman at all times. Then you are chasing an outcome from her.

Walking away from resistance or inconsistency is a power move, but only if it’s coming from a place of self-respect, not fear or ego.

If a guy says, “I don’t chase,” but deep down he's still attached to the outcome, craving consistency, reassurance, or her choosing him, then he’s not chasing her legs, but he is chasing a result. And that’s still chasing.

- I lower my value by acting needy pathetic and validating a eoman too much when she doesnt even deserve it. This whole idea of 'game' is embarrassing. You cant convince anyone to like you.

But that's the thing, that's not game. The rules of the game are: Don't act needy. don't give her validation, be outcome dependent, and don't try to convince her or give her reasons to choose you, because attraction isn't logical, it's emotional.

Your comment has certain truths, but you still haven't fully figure it out because you are confusing concepts and you still have no true understanding of what game is.

- And you cannot ever convince them you are good enough and for them to like you

True, but seduction and game already said that. You are implying that pick up advice is about convicing a girl that you are good enough, and that's not true. Seems like you haven't studied the fundamentals of seduction and are interpreting advice from people who don't know anything about seduction and then attributing that to seduction and game.

Seduction is about connecting and feeling emotions together. The actions that you do and words you say during the interaction, can make both of you feel something strong and you have control over those actions and words, and that's what game is. The ability to influence emotions, connect and set the tone to create intimacy and for attraction to blossom.

Game however is not about giving her a list of reasons why she should date you or kiss you or whatever. That's the opposite, that's being logical and chasing.

- So save your energy and let things unfold without any effort. You will never have to make the first move.

The problem with this statement, is that many people will interpret this as "just stay at home and do absolutely nothing, never speak to any woman ever again in your life unless spoken to" and that's a recipe for being a virgin until you die. taing the initiative to start a conversation doesn't lower your value, your value is only lowered when you start to impress her, or prove your worth, which isn't necessarily tied to the idea of starting a conversation.

RSSvasta · 2025-07-05T12:50:21+00:00

I agree; I actually experienced a group of women calling me to come to them a few times. Too bad I was too big of a pussy and too stupid, so I didn't do anything. If I had come to them, I would have had a good chance. If I were to try to approach women without them showing obvious interest first, I would get so many rejections that my self-esteem would plummet to zero and I would get depressed.

Nearby_Advance7443 · 2025-07-05T14:38:13+00:00

Stupid post and stupid comments. Further proof that this sub is full of lonely men seeking somebody to validate their pitifulness than to do the work that goes into becoming good at this stuff.

I’ve never mastered, but I’ve had enough successes to know “If she likes you, she likes you and you can’t change if she doesn’t,” is fucking stupid.

I’ve mentioned it several times in this sub. My biggest counter-example was when I was friendzoned for three years, and then I studied dating courses and within a couple months I had her losing weight because she was thinking of me so much, and then begging to suck my dick after explaining this to me. Now, I fumbled that situation in part because once I got comfortable I fell into the same mentality as this post’s and reminded her why I was always in the friend zone. I stopped doing the course work.

“Bois.” Seduction is work. Accept it, or just become more pathetic and guys who get it will pick on you to entertain the women that only they are getting. Stop bemoaning how unfair it is. It’s just a sanitized version of the wild, and in the wild you whiners would’ve been eaten by now.

Different-Plum-3591 · 2025-07-05T17:53:15+00:00

I’ve been given different advice.

As a woman I’ve been told never to chase a man.

So if men are told never to chase a woman and women are told not to chase a man, no one is going to have any date and we will all end up single as no one will chase anyone

jejunum32 · 2025-07-05T22:13:56+00:00

Never chase a woman… unless she stole your wallet. Then you can chase her.

Bad joke but seriously these blanket statements on this sub are getting ridiculous.

BluTao16 · 2025-07-06T02:03:34+00:00

But at the same time, no woman will come over and talk to you. You still have to make the move and shoot the shot. The difference is how you do it..

Not caring and acting like you are all your own, you have all the power by staying there wont get you nada, nothing..

You talk, you make her attracted to you, you shoot your shot. You don't act needy, yes you can message her the next day depending on how the convo went previously.

A lot of generalization and that doesn't work for everyone. The main thing is again dont act needy , true, dont get excited cause that means she knows you are digging her and probably have no other woman etc, but a bunch of other stuff varies..

I once fooled myself believing that women are too emotional, that i need to make that part by talking to her emotiona etc but all that failed me cause you cant be listening her emotions and go with that. She will ironically ghost you. Meanwhile my friend was picking women after meeting them for very shor periods , even some of them traveling for the weekend. You need to be flirting, making her attract to you, confidence, etc but mever be neutral. She will test you many times over, just keep your calm and not let any of that make your emotions burts..

Shaax- · 2025-07-06T09:05:00+00:00

No offense, but you really need to use paragraphs. That wall of text is brutal to read.

bafun13 · 2025-07-05T10:39:52+00:00

I love the chase tho

readonlyuser · 2025-07-05T13:46:59+00:00

In all honesty, women who like you will make the first move.

Objectively wrong. Unfortunately, you do have to expend energy and effort meeting women because they will not do it for you.

Tough-Football9284 · 2025-07-05T18:30:28+00:00

It’s clear you’ve been through a lot and have learned some tough lessons about dating, self-respect, and boundaries. You’re right that constantly chasing after someone who isn’t genuinely interested can be exhausting and damaging to your self-esteem. Protecting your energy and not overextending yourself is important, and many people—men and women—eventually realize that healthy relationships are built on mutual effort, respect, and interest.

That said, it’s also worth remembering that every person and every connection is unique. Some women are more direct, some are more reserved, and the same goes for men. Sometimes a little effort is needed from both sides to show interest and build trust, especially in the early stages. It’s not about chasing or performing, but about being open, authentic, and willing to communicate.

The key is balance: don’t chase, but don’t be so detached that you miss out on genuine connections. If someone isn’t reciprocating interest, it’s healthy to move on and focus on people who value and respect you. But also, don’t close yourself off completely—sometimes people need a bit of time or encouragement to show their true feelings.

Ultimately, the best approach is to be yourself, respect your own boundaries, and look for people who meet you halfway. You don’t need to play games or put on an act, and you definitely don’t need to lower your standards or self-worth for anyone. The right people will appreciate you for who you are, without you having to chase or prove yourself.

Doki_Doki_Doki · 2025-07-05T20:19:26+00:00

I can see where you're coming from, and it’s tough navigating the dating scene. I’ve definitely learned the hard way that chasing can really drain your self-esteem. From my experience, here are a few tips:

Be yourself: Authenticity attracts the right people.
Set boundaries: If someone’s not showing genuine interest, don’t hesitate to walk away.
Focus on self-improvement: Invest energy in hobbies or skills that make you feel good about yourself.

Remember, it’s about mutual respect. If she’s not putting in effort, it’s not worth your time. Keep your head up! 😊

IGetBoredSometimes23 · 2025-07-05T23:18:44+00:00

Christ, dating sucks in your 20s.

I said all the same stuff when I was 23.

Heavy_Consequence441 · 2025-07-06T00:35:40+00:00

Agreed. Point is to create your own abundance so you can pick and choose

anothwitter · 2025-07-06T01:39:21+00:00

Just learn to tell when a woman is interested. I was so clueless at one point that I had a gorgeous blond girl come to my house, wearing short shorts and bend over in front of me, pretending to look at something. Yet I didn’t act. Girls are passive. The society has ingrained this on them, that they just cannot initiate. The more beautiful they are less likely they are to initiate.

Content-Region8821 · 2025-07-06T10:59:40+00:00

“Pick who picks you”

Intelligent-Roll-763 · 2025-07-06T13:06:19+00:00

There has to be a balance. Don't chase, pursue . Have a clear list of things that you will do, when and how. Also have a lost of things that you will NOT do. As long as you have clear internal boundaries you're fine .

Reno0vacio · 2025-07-07T06:46:28+00:00

I do not necessarily agree with everything. For example, how is it that a man should not be happy when a woman initiates or shows signs of liking a man because the woman will change her mind "anyway"?

Pretty negative and non-realistical.

Paarebrus · 2025-07-05T14:32:37+00:00

what is rizz?

No-Environment-5939 · 2025-07-05T12:16:35+00:00

Sassy man epidemic

CandidParsley8973 · 2025-07-05T14:23:15+00:00

You know even men of my age aren't that mature...You are just 23...i feel astonished..I feel you..every single you have uttered is so true..I can confirm this because I have experienced the same thing over & over...

the_noodleBoy · 2025-07-05T14:24:50+00:00

Chase a chick Never chase a bitch

 -Future

ArmitageShanks69 · 2025-07-05T13:56:41+00:00

Best post I've ever seen in this sub, period.

Title	Never chase a woman
Author	Appropriate_Store814
Upvotes	148
Comments	73
Date	July 5, 2025 10:18 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1ls6o2m/never_chase_a_woman/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/never-chase-a-woman.1556387 https://theredarchive.com/post/1556387

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