Shit test question/statement "you are a player, aren't you?"

demilitarizdsm · 2018-03-04T09:37:06+00:00

I know it's not the standard agree & amplify but last time I past this one worked and it was on the fly.

"You think you aren't attracted to players. But you have a strong opinion about them because you've found yourself with them often, which tells me I don't need to worry what you think about them"

She shrugged and have me that "ok I conceed to that" look.

DrBalance · 2018-03-04T12:04:51+00:00

An often mentioned comeback to that is apparently 'why are you so attracted to players?'.

Deep_freeze202 · 2018-03-04T17:24:30+00:00

There isn't a "best way" to pass a shit test, it's just about passing without letting it disturb your frame. There isn't certain responses that are optimal in specific situations, there are too many variables, just don't fail that's what matters.

If she's asking if you're a player, and she's still there, what she is saying is "I hope you're a player". Pass the test whichever way best suits you and continue escalating.

RickyRockyDude · 2018-03-04T09:36:46+00:00

"Just because I'm charismatic and awesome doesn't mean I'm slooty"

jimlockers · 2018-03-04T12:40:31+00:00

“Yeah, I really enjoy tennis.”

recyclablebanthas · 2018-03-05T05:42:48+00:00

____1____

Shit tests are often misunderstood. They're often made out to be as if girls are sitting there planning how to test a guy. Usually it's not like that at all. Usually, it's someone trying to be playful, actually just being curious about the other person but unintentionally hitting on a sensitive subject, or they're showcasing their own fears or anxieties.

In Japan, you're most certainly dealing with the last one; fears and anxieties.

____2____

Foreigners in Asia have a rep. Some of it's well-deserved, some of it's just a stereotype. A lot of it springs forth from how socially awkward Asians often are. In a context like that, ANYONE who can handle meeting strangers comfortably at all, is a one-eyed king among men.

Asians will often assume that this leads to promisciuty. After all, if you can meet new people, in their minds, in their pent-up culture, you must be a sex machine every day.

So if she's voicing this, it's probably her being intimidated by your outgoingness and not wanting to be just another notch on the headboard, or just wanting a human interaction, even if it is casual sex. Or being worried about where you've been in terms of STDs/STIs.

____3____

Ironically though, if they met you in a venue that's known to have foreigners, then all their comments kind of cut both ways. They could probably find venues that are Japanese only, but if they're at a bar or club that's popular with foreigners, then they probably have a bit of a fetish there.

plowzedong · 2018-03-04T17:09:19+00:00

Expat in Vietnam here. I get something similar. It usually happens when you are too comfortable pulling and closing.

Here my normal responce.

I like to meet people.

I find this works quite well. You frame it in a way that she can't argue against, without lying and with revealing too much.

asthebroflys · 2018-03-04T17:15:14+00:00

Not sure why you’re getting downvotes, but you’re 100% right. Her BS radar is going off if she’s asking that.

twdziki · 2018-03-04T18:27:34+00:00

"a lot of girls like you, right?"

This one works well if you can say it with confidence: "Yeah, but not many catch my attention".

Same with "You say that to every girl, don't you?" - I usually go with "Nah, only the ones I find cool or interesting".

But you have to say them with playful confidence. Otherwise you'll sound like someone from /r/niceguys.

NilacTheGrim · 2018-03-05T00:04:51+00:00

I think you nailed it. That's the best reply I can think of. It doesn't even look cheesy to my eyes here as an American.

It seems to me you are on top of the situation.

And yes, one of the problems of being a player is then they hold that over you, so it's another hurdle. It never ends. But better to be considered a player than a guy who has no ability to seduce. If I had to pick between the two, I'd pick your situation.

That being said you can always go about your business like a gentleman. Be good at seduction without the obviousness of being a player.

But that's the next level ultra high level jedi master type of thing you eventually get to. Walk in the shoes of the player for a while. It's the logical step on the path.

The more you do this, I suspect, the less appealing "playing" will become and then maybe things get even more interesting.

But.. It's a first world problem you have, my man. Enjoy it.

suckymeh · 2018-03-05T13:09:09+00:00

A girl only asks this if she had some attraction. And she's probably slept with her share of players already, so you know you have a chance.

Just last night on a date, a girl asked if I was a player. I've been with plenty but I'm quite far from the player type. I take it as a compliment actually because she must think I'm attractive enough to pull it off.

In a sense I turned it into a test back on her by saying "actually I'm a virgin" (we had already made out by that point so it was ridiculous). She protested, I reply, "ok ok I've been with one person, you'll be my second". (Still ridiculous, I'm teasing her sensibility and making her work for the conversation). In the end, she's really acknowledging my attractiveness and sexual skills... Which means I'm desirable and have options which we are subtly agreeing on.

Trust me, a woman would rather be with a player than a socially awkward geek.

DesignMyself · 2018-03-07T05:34:34+00:00

There is a textbook answer to this exact question in Japan and it worked for me. Answer, “Yes, but you like players, don’t you?”

Frozen_Existence · 2018-03-04T09:54:39+00:00

When I get this shit test my usual go to is (depending on where I am) Club: "nahh, I rarely ever go out to be honest. I'm always _____ (working or studying...whatever fits your life) and I finally decided to take a night out." I'm a student so my go to is studying which always leads to a broader conversation like what's your major or whatever. Usually easy to escalate from there. Ex: oh you're a psychology major...explains why you can get out of my head or something stupid like that. But please for the love of God know that the club is a terrible place to talk. Most of your talking is with your body. Movements, eyes, etc...

If the scene is something like a coffee shop I make a joke and say "Really? Point me in that direction, I didn't even notice". 9.5 times out of 10 it gets a laugh or chuckle. But I always follow it up with "just kidding but I'm sure you always get attention, you're gorgeous" The goal is to always put the spotlight on her. Let her talk, listen to her but don't be a statue either.

My other go to, if I want to be more cocky rather than conversational or funny is "maybe...but I'm talking to the prettiest girl in the ____ (club, store, country. Whatever you want.) That way you show her you're comfortable in your own skin but you put the spotlight, again, on her.

The point in all of these is you're shifting the conversation away from you being a player and on her doing or being or whatever something else. It's almost always a bad idea to talk about conquests with other girls or getting attention from other girls. But I'm sure I didn't need to say that...actually you'd be surprised some of the dumb shit people do when they feel pressure.

This is great because the different options let's you show different sides of you. Cocky, funny, a nerd, geek etc...again, depends on you.

As long as you're having fun and keeping her off a pedastal with the rest of us (girls shit too gasp) then I'm sure everything will come natural to you.

These are what I usually use and so far it's almost always worked but I'm me and always have been me so idk if this'll work for others or not. Also, I'm on mobile so sorry of the format looks weird.

CANTgetAbuttPREGNANT · 2018-03-04T17:35:50+00:00

"Like anything in life, if you're gonna play the game, you might as well play it well, right?"

TorDZeus · 2018-03-04T09:40:18+00:00

Shit Tests aren't real. If girls are saying this then you are giving off a fake/insincere vibe. Act more normal and you will never get this criticism. Yes you could try to find a cocky and funny comeback and it will work on some girls but that's not addressing the root problem.

LingeringGnome · 2018-03-04T22:22:33+00:00

Her: You're a player, aren't you?

You (with a grin): I never kiss and tell.

Title	Shit test question/statement "you are a player, aren't you?"
Author	RevanSkywalker13
Upvotes	13
Comments	19
Date	March 4, 2018 8:52 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/81wn5g/shit_test_questionstatement_you_are_a_player/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/shit-test-questionstatement-you-are-a-player-arent.1442611 https://theredarchive.com/post/1442611

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