Step by Step Approach

aMob0fFatChicks · 2012-09-16T23:19:07+00:00

Finally something simple for the people that are terrible at opening.

RareCandyPooper · 2012-09-16T22:14:02+00:00

Want to ask her how many hours she can work a week and what she can bring to the company?

I'm just kidding, I like the "What's your story?" question, that's good.

I'm not usually this outgoing. How about you? Although I don't like using the phrase, this can be perceived as a DHV.

The others seem just too interview-y. Have you heard of a concept called conversation thread? Cavitycreep posted a really good article on it, it's a really powerful and simple technique, that's not exactly manipulative and rehearsed like half of the stuff you'll read on these PUA forums. I'd give it a read.

Conversation threading

c0ckmasterz · 2012-09-16T22:01:53+00:00

Leave out the "I'm sorry to bother you".

Tortheldrin · 2012-09-17T00:08:39+00:00

I like to say a joke before I ask her questions. Something to get her smiling. I hate getting answers with no emotion in them. it's intimidating.

Delightful_White · 2012-09-17T05:25:31+00:00

If she responds with something negative or insulting, say "Well you were cute until you opened your mouth. Have a good day!"

This kind of butthurt reaction is exactly what we want to avoid while learning seduction. One of the cardinal rules of seduction is to remain nonreactive. So if a girl ever gives you a bad attitude for approaching, the key is to plow through like she never even said anything. Don't acknowledge it at all, just continue on with your charming banter. If she still gives you a negative reaction, then just say:

"Have a good day"

The reasoning behind all this is because: 1. Being reactive is always beta. Throwing insults only brings you down to a lower, non-value giving level. And 2, when you remain cool after she acts like that, she might just realize how rude she was and apologize to you as you calmly walk away. "Hey, sorry I was being a bitch, I've had a long day.. blah blah blah", giving you the floor to further the conversation.

paulgualtieri · 2012-09-17T05:48:23+00:00

Drop "by the way." Just say your name. You don't need to make it seem insignificant. Who you are is significant. You're the man! ;)

squarehouse · 2012-09-17T05:13:57+00:00

Here's something I learned from Mark Manson: You can't be afraid to polarize women. I agree that your post sounds too deferential.

By polarize, Mark means that if she likes you, then she's really going to want you to sit with her. If she doesn't like you, then she's really going to not want you to sit with her.

So stop being afraid. You're trying to avoid that risk, but it is exactly that risk which women find the most attractive in guys. You need to be willing to put yourself out there. She's just a girl.

If she responds with something negative or insulting, say "Well you were cute until you opened your mouth. Have a good day!"

Unnecessary, and very beta. If you care this much about her response, then you have a lot of inner game work to do. Her insulting you should just roll off you.

I'm not usually this outgoing. How about you?

DLV. Also, avoid the interview stuff.

Arigot · 2012-09-17T06:23:53+00:00

Ask open-ended questions. They allow you to learn much more about the person than if you ask a "closed" question, because then they're allowed to answer however they want and that can tell you a lot.

We had an Interpersonal Communication class at my university, and the professor gave this example: "Say you meet somebody who lives in Flowermound (a city in Texas). Don't ask them something like 'Oh, do you like the mall there?' because that'll just end with them saying yes or no, and it doesn't progress anything. Instead you can ask them if they like living there, and if they say yes, ask them what they like about living there. If they say the mall, now I know they like shopping. If they mention the airport, now I know they probably like traveling. Etc."

I'd say the more you can do this, the better. It also helps the conversation feel more fluid, which is obviously important. For that reason, I love the "what's your story?" line and have used it a bunch myself, since it allows the person to respond how they'd like to and is a very effective way for opening up multiple branches of conversation.

choc_is_back · 2012-09-17T07:56:10+00:00

you're really cute

Now, see, the problem is that there's no decent way to translate this to my language without sounding like a total jackass :( There's no 'cute' way like that of saying a girl looks, well, beautiful.

(Dutch from Belgium btw)

But Thanks for sharing this! I'd love to see more of things like this, 'universal fallbacks'.** I think mine would be to start talking about the fact that strangers are so afraid of each other and they don't dare to connect, and I think we should not give in to that and talk.

imironmantoo · 2012-09-17T05:01:23+00:00

HB means hot bitch, right?

skeletondog · 2012-09-17T06:47:11+00:00

Don't be afraid to push the conversation a bit until she opens up. "blah blah blah I'm here studying whatever" before you ask "what are you studying"

wtk · 2012-09-17T10:27:37+00:00

You don't put out hand to shake her hand first. S a v o i r - v i v r e ? :P

iwenttocharlenes · 2012-09-17T02:33:32+00:00

Overall, I think your attitude is a bit too deferential. You are not lucky to sit with her, she is lucky to sit with you. Don't be arrogant, but when you ask if you can sit with her, you have to act like you know she's going to say yes. Otherwise she feels like she has a greater ability to say no, and she probably will if your delivery is the way most people would say "sorry to bother you..." and such things.

icandoitnow · 2012-09-17T08:08:19+00:00

Well you were cute until you opened your mouth. Have a good day!

Is there a better way to exit if she doesn't response well to you then saying this? I feel like this just makes you sound like a douche.

i_bet_so · 2012-09-17T11:09:49+00:00

source : Ross Jeffries (f.e. Gold Walkups)

credit to where credit is due

terzog · 2012-09-17T05:55:14+00:00

"Well you were cute until you opened your mouth. Have a good day!"

that is sooo goood and hilarous LOL.

a little mean but fuck that made me laugh

Title	Step by Step Approach
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	125
Comments	54
Date	September 16, 2012 9:40 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/zzmq0/step_by_step_approach/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/step-by-step-approach.1296140 https://theredarchive.com/post/1296140

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