Virtually every newbie problem in game can be solved by talking to more women.
- Oneitis - cured
- Flakes - who cares
- What to say - doesn't matter, just step up to the plate
B-b-b-but I have approach anxiety
You don't have 'approach anxiety.' You're afraid of talking to strangers.
The only way to get over that is to.... stop treating them like strangers and talk to them.
B-b-b-ut I'm a fit guy with interesting hobbies and decent fashion, but women still don't like me.
Ok, but do you actually go out and talk to women?
If not, that's your primary problem.
B-b-b-but I don't know where to start.
Start by making time for it. Either go everywhere 45 minutes early, or start scheduling 2 sessions per week dedicated to cold approach.
B-b-b-but I've approached 100 women in the past year.
You approached 1 woman every 3 or 4 days?
That's nowhere near the volume you need. Your first approach of the day will always be stifled. You're essentially doing your worst possible approach every time you take a swing.
Your first 2-3 approaches are just 'warming up.' You won't find your true rhythm until your 5 or 6th approach of the day.
B-b-bro, I have approached over 1000 women in the past year, and still nothing.
Ok, in that case (and assuming you are actually following up with girls), you are obviously doing something wrong.
Just doing more of the same action won't help you. You need to figure out what you're doing wrong.
You can do that one of 2 ways. First, reflect more by writing a journal or making consistent field reports. Second, find a coach who will offer an unfiltered and objective perspective on how exactly you can improve. Oftentimes, it's little micro behaviors that sabotage otherwise good approaches.
B-b-b-but there's more to it than just approaching.
Yes, of course there is. A lot more.
- Being authentic
- Being congruent with the environment
- Being polarizing
- Escalating
- Not trying to put on a performance
- Etc
But you won't reach that level of problem-having unless you are actually talking to girls on a regular basis.
If you're a beginner wondering where to start, the answer is simple.
Get good at saying hi and starting conversations with strangers.
If you aren't doing that, no amount of info-gathering or mindset-jerking is going to help you.
Happy hunting
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