What does being vulnerable mean ?

recyclablebanthas · 2020-10-30T02:43:44+00:00

If you're going to discuss something from a book, kindly cite where in the book you're talking about:

Page number(s)
The paragraph(s) and line(s) in question.
The exact words or phrases quoted directly

Otherwise, the thread inevitably spirals into so many directions as people argue over details unnecessary to the question actually being asked, including often bickering over what is even being discussed.

Ar least if one has the citation down then at least everyone will know what is being discussed.

MK2718 · 2020-10-29T13:03:51+00:00

"Being vulnerable does not mean being weak or soft, but rather that you are strong enough to deal with the repercussions that may result from exposing your true self."

-Showing Vulnerability: Is It An Attractive Trait?

Facio101 · 2020-10-29T13:40:18+00:00

Something I wrote about this many years ago:

Its reflects strength when its a choice. Its a weakness when its forced upon you.

There's a misconception that vulnerability is a weakness or something to be avoided. Some dictionary definitions of vulnerable are:

capable of being physically or emotionally wounded or hurt
open to temptation, persuasion, censure, etc
liable or exposed to disease, disaster, etc

By these definitions, one would think of vulnerability indicates only weakness. Like many things its meaning is defined not by some intrinsic quality but by the lens through which it is seen.

The person who chooses to be vulnerable because they want to be open to the world and can handle what comes at them is strong and is coming from a place of power. The person who is forced into a vulnerable position, or closes them-self off due to fear of harm is coming from a place of weakness.

Gerealtor · 2020-10-29T17:27:56+00:00

It's funny, I see it the opposite. Being too afraid to let yourself be vulnerable is a sign of weakness to me. To let yourself be vulnerable is to allow for people to really get in, even at the risk that they might hurt you where you're weakest. It's risky and scary, but it's also the only real way to create deep intimacy and trust with someone.

optimal981 · 2020-10-29T17:15:10+00:00

Being vulnerable in dating, is showing your true self. So many people fake who they are when meeting new people and the first few dates. Mason's point, is to be comfortable and confident in who you are as a person so that you don't need to put on an act. This also helps attract people who attracted to your true personality right away.

jesusisnice · 2020-10-29T16:53:23+00:00

Vulnerability is not bad whatsoever. The ability to be vulnerable and your true self without fearing the repercussions/rejection when dealing with a potential partner can be incredibly rewarding long term if they are emotionally mature.

SonsofOcelot · 2020-10-29T21:56:33+00:00

Just finished this section. What I got out of it was, don't be afraid of putting yourself out there. If you fear what others think of you then the people that would be truly attracted to you will never see that side of you, hence you will never know that they were attracted to you. I highly suggest rereading that part like 2 or 3 times because Mark is very clear that being weak is not what he means.

rezuler · 2020-10-29T12:00:15+00:00

Now be weak but only for things that matter, and limit how weak your willing to be. That's vulnerability.

revente · 2020-10-29T13:07:38+00:00

Frankly it's probably the most controversial chapter from Models. Focus on all other aspects first.

blackswordsman6 · 2020-10-29T23:56:52+00:00

The denotative meaning is susceptible to physical or emotional attack or harm

Captain_w00t · 2020-10-29T15:03:28+00:00

There were good replies to your question, here’s some practical example from my experience:

at the beginning of the first date with a woman, I just told her: “I like to smoke weed”. I knew that for someone this aspect would be a deal breaker, so I threw it on the table.

another example: after I matched on Tinder, one of the first things I said was that I have kids. Same reason: for someone this might be a deal breaker.

In both cases, I told them something that might have ended the interaction pretty instantly, even if they aren’t something that I might be afraid of (I’m not, indeed). You haven’t idea of how many men hide simple stuff like this because they fear rejection.

afuntimewashadbyall · 2020-10-29T12:49:18+00:00

Unpopular opinion but vulnerbrality isnt good.

A person should try and be as strong as possible. Real strength not fake. Having had a hard life I thank god im not vulnerable. Fake vulnerability is the biggest turn off and if youre not a vulnerable guy embrace that.

Being open to love and sharing yourself is good but purposely being vulnerable isnt.

Vulnerable people can do great things dont get me wrong.

Maybe it will get you laid but when life hits you side ways and youre dead broke and alone and gotta dig yourself out of a hole. Strength and intellect will save you.

Just my two cents.

iamtheghast · 2020-10-29T16:56:11+00:00

Being vulnerable is a valuable trait but don't use it too quick when you meet a girl for the first time because that's creepy

LuciidEnigma · 2020-10-29T18:45:10+00:00

IG I'm a weak person... Rather be "wEaK" then put myself in multiple positions to get hurt with no long term benefit

traviij · 2020-10-29T20:59:01+00:00

Many spins on this - to me it’s acting on your core principles, and allowing the judgement of others to be as it may - not altering your sense of purpose / duty. This carries over into relationships pretty fluidly I would say.

Iharf · 2020-10-29T21:11:13+00:00

I haven't seen any of Mark Manson's content but I am familiar with the term vulnerability in terms of relationships. Here's what I've gathered (from my own experience too).

Vulnerability comes into play when deep emotions are about. Love is sacrifice, and sacrifice is a loss, to lose something there must be risk, so basically vulnerability means that you open yourself up to someone, the parts of you that you usually protect.

Example. You meet a girl, at the beginning things are light and casual, you don't invest too much, but time. When things get more serious, and you decide to go the distance, to have a relationship, you will show her the deeper parts of you, among those: fears, insecurity, imperfections, such things - these make you vulnerable because the person now has valuable insight that could hurt you or knows of parts of you that hurt you. In the beginning, both sides tend to posture and protect these parts, even pretend a bit (sadly).

You don't just jump in and open up immediately the parts of yourself that you should protect to someone you barely know.

No_Chapman1731 · 2020-10-30T00:51:15+00:00

It means being open about yourself. Putting it all out there, good, bad, and ugly.

2020-10-30T02:19:33+00:00

Vulnerability means you show parts of yourselves to others that make you feel weak and exposed. It is actually a very strong, tough and courageous thing to do. People usually respond well to vulnerability and connections improve.

Title	What does being vulnerable mean ?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	29
Comments	31
Date	October 29, 2020 11:41 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/jk8gbi/what_does_being_vulnerable_mean/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-does-being-vulnerable-mean.1504785 https://theredarchive.com/post/1504785

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