What to do when the question "So how many partners have you been with?" comes up.

Delightful_White · 2011-01-05T04:06:10+00:00

I get this one a lot. I say "I'm a virgin" and it always makes them laugh. They'll know you're lying and they'll keep pressuring you but just keep saying "im saving myself for marriage". Never give your number. Ever.

EDIT: for extra points, throw in "and I don't want to know your number"

VolumeMatters · 2011-01-05T04:30:07+00:00

[permanently deleted]

theponyexpress · 2011-01-05T04:59:55+00:00

"I don't kiss and tell."

chumpta · 2011-01-05T03:58:22+00:00

according to neil strauss this is the only time you're allowed to lie.

solastsummer · 2011-01-05T05:12:16+00:00

44 is REALLY FUCKING HIGH! (an almost troll like figure)

But that aside: my opinion is never lie. You can avoid answering if it's something that you don't want them to know e.g. "A few" or "Enough". Or you could just give them some joke answer like "You were my first!" and then quickly change the subject - easier to do if she hasn't told you her number yet.

Out of interest, and not that I'm trying to thearpy you, but what is the longest relationship you've ever had?

BPhair · 2011-01-05T07:09:23+00:00

Your number is 7.

When you turn 30 your number becomes 10.

2011-01-05T15:32:27+00:00

44 is a very high number for age 23 regardless if it's real or not.

lilninjalee · 2011-01-05T11:12:24+00:00

Its shit like this. Women, stop asking stupid ass questions that you don't want to know the answer to. Answer: Make up an astronomical number.

ZorbaTHut · 2011-01-05T06:05:16+00:00

All of them.

ProzacLady · 2011-01-05T09:27:03+00:00

Beware of this trap, gentleman. There is no correct answer. When I was dating my husband, I asked him for a number, and my girl-mind wanted (seriously) his number to be both higher and lower than mine. I didn't want him to have slept with fewer people than me...that would make me a slut in his eyes. I didn't want him to have slept with more people than I had...then I would feel less desirable.

I'd try the flirty non-answers below, but some girls will press you for an answer. Your best bet is to say "7," and then follow up with a compliment of her. Not a comparison comment about how she's the best, just a nice compliment and a kiss -- disarm her ASAP.

It goes without saying, doesn't it, that you never, ever give details of ANY of those past lovers. Right?

Good luck, boys. I don't envy you one bit.

advicemcadvice · 2011-01-05T04:06:45+00:00

[permanently deleted]

netwiz101 · 2011-01-05T05:06:52+00:00

Tell them you're saving yourself for marriage, with a coy smile. Then be confused and offended when they don't believe you. This works best when you're OBVIOUSLY experienced(edit: obviously comfortable making sexual advances). It turns into a whole game.

Me and my buddy used to play "fake shy" with strippers. They ate it up. I mean, who the fuck gets free dances!

jette_moi · 2011-01-05T08:36:51+00:00

I personally don't count for my own purposes, because I don't feel that I need the reassurance of a number (I can say with confidence however, for my fellow sedditors: I'm somewhere in between 40 and 80). I could go back get a more precise estimate, but I'm confident enough with my game that I don't need to. But that hasn't answered your question.

My approach:

I'll open, jokingly, with a ridiculously high number ("Hrm... umm... 4 or 5... million? I don't know..."), and if they pressure for an actual answer, then I'll defuse the test with something like:

"I honestly just don't count... How pretentious do you think I am? ;)"

I've been able to hold down solid relationships for long periods (6months+) without the question resurfacing.

ohyesdontstop · 2011-01-05T09:44:46+00:00

[permanently deleted]

zoinks · 2011-01-05T15:15:15+00:00

I honestly can't imagine how one can even keep track of them up to 44. After a certain point, it turns into "Well....a couple...dozen?"

seddition · 2011-01-05T16:54:12+00:00

44 is high. I'm in my early 30's and only slightly ahead of that. Granted I did have a girlfriend for 6 years, another for 4.5, and another for a year 1, so a lot of my prime pipe laying years were locked up with gf's, and i'm generally not a cheater. Good on you for getting your share. I have afc friends in their 30's who have fucked like 4 girls..pathetic.

HearAndNow · 2011-01-05T18:20:31+00:00

Say, very slowly like you're trying to remember: "fiiiiiiive.... hundred and sixty three-ish?"

RedErin · 2011-01-05T18:48:26+00:00

I don't know you well enough to tell you such personal things about myself.

superphly · 2011-01-06T08:29:55+00:00

26 @ 29.

avrus · 2011-01-22T18:47:39+00:00

"Only the ones I cared about."

Title	What to do when the question "So how many partners have you been with?" comes up.
Author	VolumeMatters
Upvotes	3
Comments	51
Date	January 5, 2011 3:45 AM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ewdfi/what_to_do_when_the_question_so_how_many_partners/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-to-do-when-the-question-so-how-many-partners.1314247 https://theredarchive.com/post/1314247

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