Where do you guys get the endurance?

norwegiandoggo · 2025-02-02T18:21:13+00:00

By focusing on learning over outcomes.

See it as a cool "loser to hero" journey that they would make into a movie. It wouldn't be a cool movie if it was smooth sailing all the way.

You need some challenges and problems to overcome in this journey. Otherwise it's no fun.

Focus on the process of improving and getting better. Learning from your mistakes. Every failure is a fantastic opportunity to adjust your strategy and learn a lesson. You get stronger / better each time.

It also helps to read a lot of theory along with actual real-world practice - because it really keeps you in that learning frame of mind.

DaygameCode · 2025-02-02T19:27:13+00:00

The problem is not that you get rejected, the real problem you have is you don’t get rejected enough. You only learn by approaching and getting rejected.

You actually don’t learn much from approaching and being successful because success makes you believe that your successful approach is universally effective, which leads to complacency and a lack of growth.

Rejections, on the other hand, force you to adapt, refine your methods, and develop resilience, ultimately making you more adept in the long run.

So mate, this is like playing a video-game twice having two lucky victories and then saying “ok it’s enough I’m not playing this game again”. You may think you don’t want to play the game anymore, but you should know the difference between quitting the game because you’ve genuinely mastered what you wanted from the experience, and quitting the game out of complacency.

So, at the end it’s all about embracing rejection as a vital part of the learning process. The key to growth lies not in the fear of failure but in the persistent pursuit of improvement through each setback. Rejection or relationship failures are not a signal to stop; they are a lesson to learn from, refine your approach, and push forward with greater wisdom and resilience.

So, keep playing the game, not just to win, but to master the art of playing through every challenge it throws at you.

bruno-vr · 2025-02-02T20:03:21+00:00

Hey I had really good success on apps and I deleted them this year too because I dont like the idea of dating girls I met online while sitting in the couch swiping. I lost my ‘roster’ of 3 girls this week and I’m back to zero again too 😂

Looking forward to those rejections again lol

InternationalSwan162 · 2025-02-02T18:53:43+00:00

This OG quality of this thread was never about approaching or gamifying the dating experience. It was honestly better before RP was (rightfully) banned—

Because the notion of you loving yourself, and having the confidence (truly) built up in your personal value is what ultimately makes you an attractive partner and someone capable of shaping (vs enduring) their dating life.

HomelessMilkman · 2025-02-02T20:31:11+00:00

putting myself back out there and getting rejected over and over again

This is obviously the problem. If you're just repeatedly getting rejected without changing or improving what you're doing, why would you expect any different?

The confidence in knowing that you're improving as time goes on, regardless of what results you're getting; becoming more relaxed, getting out of your head, diverting your energy from being inwardly self-consciousness towards being externally expressive; then it can become fun and enjoyable.

The whole goal is to have fun and having fun can't be exhausting or difficult. What's exhausting is all of the things that are 'anti-fun'; judgement, comparison, filtering yourself, managing a persona, ect. 'Ego'. Having endurance isn't doing those things and finding the extra energy to power through, it's not depleting that energy in the first place.

Dandys3107 · 2025-02-03T09:31:03+00:00

I guess you should improve your methods and mindset. Don't get attached too soon. Train recognizing signs of interest and disinterest. Improve your sexually attractive traits so you can naturally expand your opportunities and rise odds. Realise that dating market is pretty tough for a guy that didn't really pay attention to attract or handle gender interactions properly, but success may be just around a few steps of development. Even PUAs have multitude of failure cases, but they understand that it's just how it is if you take challenges.

mitcht3 · 2025-02-04T01:20:58+00:00

Look at how far you got in one month man that’s impressive. Take some time to chill and reflect and then go forward

Wing_Inevitable · 2025-02-02T20:37:19+00:00

Where do you guys get the endurance?

Maca.

For 2025 I decided to start meeting women in person. as a guy that was successful on dating apps this was going to be a new experience.

Oooo you are about to have a shit time. IRL - you have to be a bit out there - cuz you have to get attention.

During January I put myself out there and ended up having two connections that went past just pleasantries.

That sounds a lot better than most newbies. You must be good looking.

Give your parents a cookie.

Also “Connection” in woman speak means “He makes me wet”. I presume you mean it in the male sense so these are going nowhere.

One was a fwb and the other I was looking to date.

Great - congrats. They are still dying if you continue to just “bond” - sorry at least you are hearing it now instead of taking 10 years to learn it for yourself. Your incredibly dashing good looks will only get you so far.

In the past 24 hours both connections ended and I’m back at the drawing board.

Guessed it. Give me a cookie too.

the thought of putting myself back out there and getting rejected over and over again is putting me in a state of paralysis and a mind fuck.

This will happen a lot - as you get better less so. It will still happen all be it occasionally.

how do I get out of this and get excited to meet women again?

A bunch of different ways which I will go in to after I’m done with this incredibly important ,borderline critical , sentence - from today’s sponsor …. (I got bored of the joke)

1 The emotions way

Push the emotion you want

You probably feel dread - well act like you felt excitement. You will eventually re-condition yourself to feel excitement.

Manipulate yourself

You can in fact manipulate yourself to get you going

A) become outcome independent or lower the bar for the outcome

Win = I approached ( I Dislike it , but you do you)

B) Reframe rejection in to something positive (Dislike but you do you)

C) Get into a positive happy state (I approve of this one )

Increase your chances mentally (Like “I’m god’s gift to pussy - All pussy begs me to lick it”

2 The physical way

Since your chances are low - Your brain takes that chance and tells you it isn’t worth it through fucking with you.

Solder through

Just DO IT.

Get good

If you increase the chance - It will make you more excited to do it (Up to the point where you get lazy about it)

More probably - I’m doing this of the top of my head

Dwerg1 · 2025-02-02T18:36:09+00:00

Expect it, move on when that happens without spending mental energy on it. Focus on finding ways to enjoy the process regardless of outcome. If you're having fun with it even if you're not getting any action then it's not really hard at all to endure.

If you need results you're gonna have a bad time and decrease the chance of getting results.

AngryGoose21 · 2025-02-03T12:34:27+00:00

hey guys I took all of your advice. last night I decided to go out and I met two cute girls. they both came back to my place and we hung out. I dropped one girl off at her car and the other one came back home. I just finished fucking her all night. honestly if it wasn’t for your inspiration I wouldn’t have walked outside my door and had the experience

epimpstyle · 2025-02-03T14:53:04+00:00

putting myself back out there and getting rejected over and over again

Why do you think like that?

If you want to start a business, will you put all your efforts knowing that it will not work and you will close the business in 2-3 months or will you do your best knowing that you will make money?

When you approach a girl, do you start a conversation with her knowing that she will reject you, or do you start a conversation with her and see how far you can get?

nordik1 · 2025-02-04T03:08:25+00:00

Exhaustion is a sign of over investment and/or needing a break

If you’re exhausted after getting 2 girls in a month it sounds like you’re definitely over invested or going about the process in an inefficient way.

1 month is nothing AND you had above average results

Intelligent-Roll-763 · 2025-02-05T15:27:30+00:00

This is so relatable to me.

What happened is you got lucky just by taking basic action , but you didn't take the time to properly desenticize yourself.

When you're desenticized approaching means nothing, it has no emotional charge .

Also speaking of rejections, if you're approaching the right way you won't get rejected most of the time . It's not normal or expected to be rejected most of the time , which is why you feel emotionally exhausted. Can you dm me? I love this topic .

theasianplayboy · 2025-02-02T20:55:35+00:00

Endurance in dating comes from discipline and commitment, just like fitness. If you’ve built the habit of going to the gym regularly and eating well, it starts to feel weird NOT to go. It feels weird NOT to have your muscles ache. The same applies to socializing—when you make it a daily part of your life, it becomes second nature.

Building social endurance is about consistently putting yourself in situations where you’re engaging with people. Just like in fitness, where progress comes from pushing through the discomfort, social success comes from pushing through rejection and awkward moments. Over time, it stops feeling like effort and starts feeling like part of your identity.

When I was working toward my six-pack abs, I had to embrace discipline and structure. The same principles that got me in shape also helped me succeed with women. You learn to see the fun and reward in the process, not just the outcome.

Title	Where do you guys get the endurance?
Author	AngryGoose21
Upvotes	52
Comments	26
Date	February 2, 2025 6:00 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1ig37eg/where_do_you_guys_get_the_endurance/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/where-do-you-guys-get-the-endurance.1542795 https://theredarchive.com/post/1542795

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