Why do people always say there is someone out there for everyone? why should I believe the right girl for me is out there? why should I believe that I will get a girlfriend? Because I have Asperger Syndrome.

jjness · 2012-07-05T22:18:37+00:00

Technically, there's no expiration limit on someone's loving, dating, or relationship abilities. I mean, sure, after you get old enough, you're not shooting the most virile of sperm anymore, but even then you can freeze some for later these days.

But I think what the people that say this are getting at is the romantic Hollywood ideal that you'll be a down-on-your-luck loser for a long time and just when you've given up on it, someone will walk into your life and help you save yourself.

Know what?

Fuck that.

First off, Seddit doesn't prescribe to that bullshit because we are here to teach and learn how to make our own lives so much better that some of the women you meet won't be able to help themselves but to feel attracted to you. One of the major lessons is that you don't get women to love you until you love yourself. You're so damn awesome that before you know it, you'll be turning women down. You won't even notice that it got to that point as you'll have been having so much fun just being awesome! Seddit is more self-improvement and seducing yourself as it is seducing others.

Secondly, I understand you have some hurdles that I don't and I won't pretend to know to what depth they affect you. I can only hope that the analogy of an amputee is encouraging and fitting: if you see someone who has lost a leg (or born without one), you will most likely see the fat person rolling around in a power chair and lamenting their life, or you'll see the person who gets fitted for one of those kick-ass spring legs and runs marathons and sprints. The difference is that one person accepted how they were challenged and proved themselves capable in spite of it. The other person gave up. If that helps to spur you to succeed and conquer, all the power to you!

Don't worry about wasted years. Sure, you'll not get them back, but they can serve as the potent reminder and motivation you need to continue the self-improvement that you're looking for here.

There are a few people here who are in their 40s (and maybe a few older) who've given field reports of successes in bars and clubs, typically a young man's arena. It really isn't ever too late to start. In fact, the best time to start is always yesterday, so since you missed that, make it up to yourself by starting today.

keikenamarinai · 2012-07-06T00:33:32+00:00

I have major depressive disorder. It crippled me socially for over 10 years. I dropped out of high school and spent the next the next three and a half years either gambling or sitting in my mother's basement on the computer. Even after that, I spent all four years in college without a girlfriend. I let my self-limiting beliefs take over. Worse yet, I pictured myself as a white knight—I had bought into all the media lies about women wanting to be "rescued." I was also psychologically abused and made to feel ashamed and worthless.

By chance I joined reddit and by chance I found /r/seduction. I also finally found a job and moved far away from my old life, hoping to rid myself of all that I had tries to deal with back home. I started learning about how to flirt, escalating, and how to tell if she's interested. I started taking more risks talking to people and making friends. I started losing weight and eating, well, at least a little healthier.

I've made a few blunders—no, a lot of blunders—along the way, but I've met some great people, I've started attracting women, and I've even managed to have two fun, sexy nights with a beautiful woman. It didn't work out in the long term (she's unhappy with her living situation, scheduling, distance) but the rush I got from it made me feel invincible.

I still hold on to some self-limiting beliefs and feelings of loneliness, but I still know that I have worth, I value myself, and I know I am attractive.

I did it. You can do it too.

leodoestheopposite · 2012-07-06T01:21:49+00:00

There are many girls out there who have Asperger Syndrome who are thinking that they'll never have a boyfriend or a relationship.

Prove yourself and them wrong!

destinys_parent · 2012-07-06T02:47:38+00:00

Believe in yourself, be assertive, and you'll have better luck.

itsmevichet · 2012-07-06T03:15:42+00:00

Seriously, i hate how we guys have to have confidence but girls don't have to

Yikes. You have Asperger's. You'll never get rid of it. Accept that now.

But, you can mitigate it. I know lots of guys with Asperger's who are up front about it, who lead really full social lives. Our friends just accept them for who they are - they see it as a quirk. The reason we can all be friends is because even though they have Asperger's, they're still independent, still have passions, still have lives.

They just don't always know when to stop talking, or how to empathize with people right away.

But then, I really don't know many "normal" people who are exceptional at knowing when to stop talking or how to empathize.

So, aside from your Asperger's you have despair.

That's your bigger problem.

Forget about women for a second. This isn't about them.

This is about you.

I'm sorry you have Asperger's, but it's not going away. You know how to deal with it better than I do. Keep doing that.

As for the rest of your life, what do you want to say about it? Don't tell me that your goal is a girlfriend. There's so much more to life than that. And, really, the answer differs from person to person.

The only thing that I can tell you that is ALWAYS true is that another person is not the answer to your life's happiness.

Pursue the things that will make you happy to be you. Asperger's makes socializing more difficult - yes. But, you're still physically capable, and theoretically you're just as smart as everyone else, right?

Use what you got. Get what you want.

You can do it.

toughluck1 · 2012-07-06T03:35:05+00:00

It's how the world works, you either live with it or die alone trying to fight it. It's never late cause the time you have now is more than time you'll ever gonna have from this point forth. I'm turning 20 this year virgin, I'm just trying as hard as I can to game and shut cause hell I don't want to look back and wait even longer being frustrated at this world

Frexican · 2012-07-06T03:52:33+00:00

I remember that there is a channel on youtube about a guy and a girl who are a couple and they both have aspergers. I remember the girl actually being very cute. Does someone know the name of the channel?

IHateBeingAnAspie714 · 2012-07-06T06:09:26+00:00

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baaaark · 2012-07-06T07:53:43+00:00

Here's the deal. Life can be a bitch sometimes. You got dealt a bad card in the game of life. We all have some bad cards, but yours happens to be on display and involves social skills. If you approach it from this mindset your options become clearer; you kind of have to embrace that which makes you unique (because it's not a bad thing, it's who you are!).

Life can be swift, chaotic, unforgiving, and completely unfair. But it is always impartial. There is a possibility that you may go your whole life without ever finding the right girl, and life won't care if it does. There is only one person out there that cares enough about you finding true love enough to do something about it and that's you, but only if you are willing to do something about it.

Also I understand being on the spectrum can make things excruciatingly difficult, but life is by no means impossible. I can tell you right now that I know a guy who has Asperger's and has a girlfriend...and she's not only hot as fuck but she has her masters in mechanical engineering. She's like perfect and could have her pick of who knows ho many guys, but stays with him. And yes, the stuff that comes out of his mouth is painfully awkward sometimes, but she totally gets it and rolls with it. It can be done. :-)

WharrgarbI · 2012-07-06T11:08:51+00:00

I made this account because I understand exactly how you feel. I have struggled horribly and sometimes hilariously for years.

I truth is that there isn't a quick fix, the hardest thing is starting to be sociable when you can't read people / feel akward, or flat out don't want to go meet people. I guarantee you it is possible to find someone who will accept you for who you are and who can make you happy.

Every journey starts with a single step, take one today.

IHateBeingAnAspie714 · 2012-08-15T16:57:30+00:00

i feel the fact that I have Asperger Syndrome, that no matter how hard I try, I won't ever get better at approaching and talking to women

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