Woman here....

R2THEON · 2019-10-06T03:50:36+00:00

Strictly from my veiwpoint, yes. Duh. Most of us men started here because we are/were terrible with women. The more hints you drop, the better. But follow the same rules that we're expected to. Dont be creepy. If he's not into you, find one that is. Etc.

Glaabi · 2019-10-06T04:36:09+00:00

Most guys will be glad if a woman is the initiator for once.

burtguthrup · 2019-10-06T03:29:07+00:00

here goes her pm’s getting all full...

ajlee9797 · 2019-10-06T03:41:33+00:00

As a man I would have to say it depends on what you are looking for in a man.

VDKay · 2019-10-06T11:37:29+00:00

IMO, what you can do is just give him hints for him to take. The best hint is, of course, to show interest. Text him first, ask him stuff about himself, remember things he told you, give him compliments, make plans, be available if he asks you out (or make effort to find a suitable schedule, instead of leaving it to "we will talk next week"), etc. IMO this is the best a girl can do. Guys are always in the dilema "Is she just friendly/polite, or is she flirting?", but this is actually out first test. When women show interest to guys there are only a handful of possible outcomes:

He is uninterested
- But he enjoys your company and wants to keep you around as a friend (proceed only if you are also OK with this)
- He will push you away, saving both of you the trouble (nothing to do here)
He is interested
- But he is super-shy or not-so-sure or with emotional-burden, so he will make baby steps, be super-awkward or will send mixed signals (you can stick around, hoping to get better one day, but IMO, more often that not, you will end up realizing how tiring and childish this is eventually, and then you will regret all the time and mental energy you spend there)
- He is socially-competent to take the hint and assertive enough to ask you out and/or take it from there (This is the best case scenario. Aim for this as you will end up with an assertive guy who he really wants you and is not playing games)

p.s. It should be also made clear that there is nothing wrong with the girl making the first step and e.g. asking a guy out, telling him she likes him, etc. It is rather cute and works best with shy guys. Just be ready to walk away if he does not feel the same way of course.

GrandTrickster1 · 2019-10-06T04:52:50+00:00

Hell yes!! Guys love it when you show interest. You’re way more likely to get the guy you’re looking for if you pursue him instead of merely waiting for him to pursue you.

GrumpyRPGReviews · 2019-10-06T06:04:46+00:00

Yes, you can pursue.

essyjoy11 · 2019-10-06T06:29:29+00:00

YES WHY NOT!!! sometimes guys are dense and they might not realise how they feel about you, are not the type to go out and be bold with girls, are shy, etc etc. so a 100% yes drop hints, and if they still don’t get it you can even switch it up a notch!!! speaking from experience :-) because that’s how i got the guy i’m currently dating interested, he was so dense and shy he wouldn’t even kiss me when i created the opportunity so i had to initiate for him to realise like OH

shemparider · 2019-10-06T08:57:41+00:00

There is nothing more telling then entering his personal space, when he is talking laugh and reach out and lightly touch his forearm. non sexual intimacy. Its permission for him to touch back. Adjust your clothing to appear more presentable as he approaches, preen while he talks to you be attentive show subtle clues that your interested. good luck

pm-your-titties-pls · 2019-10-07T17:15:25+00:00

Yes please. It’s great when the dance of courting actually involves both people for once

themaker87 · 2019-10-07T21:54:26+00:00

I think you've done well. Indeed the cellphone thing is a bit unusual. You mentioned he said more than once that you will see in a few days, in the first conversation you talked about. The repeat sounds to me like he's trying to say he is looking forward to it. Also the small gift is, to me, a big sign he is interested in you. About the cellphone thing, there might be a story behind that, and it would be silly to assume because of it that he's married or whatever while you have no indication why. I think he'll invite you soon, since he also probably knows it's not the first time he delayed it. As someone else said, do what you feel.

Marvinkmooneyoz · 2019-10-06T04:56:56+00:00

Thier perogative. Womens instinct usually stops them from being bold, even wtih those they like. SHOULD is a tough question.....evolutionary logic has one sert of "priorities"....but those priorities arent for our subjective best wellbeing.

yurtru1 · 2019-10-06T06:03:47+00:00

Yes! I've had women come up to me form my past saying how much they wanted me But never gave me any hints.

RockieRed · 2019-10-06T06:41:00+00:00

I don’t see a problem with it. It’s just pursuing or flirting not asking the guy for marriage or something.

Also, I think that this stigma is false because I’m sure plenty of women literally throw themselves at famous men so it’s not like women don’t do it anyways.

exophrine · 2019-10-06T07:00:39+00:00

Flowers would be cool. I'd like to get flowers from a girl once, just because. :)

AnotherLonelyKid · 2019-10-06T08:06:26+00:00

Well would the alternative would be to show no interest? Are you still ok with guys approaching you when you dont overtly display you're interested?

BonPlaisir · 2019-10-06T09:45:11+00:00

RedditjayCena · 2019-10-06T11:39:18+00:00

I say Go for it, accidentally i meet a Girl in 20 minutes just because SHE asked ME Out when we met the first time at a Party and stayed consistent. There is a thin line though as a woman to appear needy if you dont let the man do the seducing.

I would say: you can 100% ask him Out. But after the first date, he hast to do the chasing

blockfuture · 2019-10-06T11:54:18+00:00

I think women should definitely pursue men more. I think women need to learn how to deal with that kind of rejection/understand what they put guys through; It will help them learn how to reject guys better etc. Also It is fair that they bear some of the load of breaking the ice.

blockfuture · 2019-10-06T11:56:10+00:00

lots of women eventually do "pursue men" and it is extremely clumsy and as off putting as a man who is first starting. Why not start earlier? it should be more socially acceptable.

capncatbeard · 2019-10-06T12:06:35+00:00

I'm hoping seduction is for ALL genders cuz if not imma have to leave this sub

D1DgRyk5vjaKWKMgs · 2019-10-06T12:22:21+00:00

Yes. If you want to get into contact with someone, try to approach them.

LiranMLG · 2019-10-06T12:44:00+00:00

Please do, We need more women who initiate stuff.
It makes stuff much easier and much better.

Ur_X · 2019-10-06T13:03:08+00:00

My approach, which could be used by a woman. Is to limit texting to once a week and only use it to set dates.

If you think he is interested I would go the passive route and text things like "we should grab a drink sometime" if you don't know that he's interested and need to get to know him a bit better then the active route of "when are you free to grab a drink"

THE_ANGRY_SHARTER · 2019-10-06T13:48:50+00:00

Most people on Reddit will tell you that it's perfectly okay for women to lead the interaction. That a lot of men actually love it when women message first.

Are you on Online Dating? Because if you are, I'd like to share my experience with you in regards to "making the first move". Like you, I was curious about this. I lurk on relationship / dating / breakup / relevant subreddits and I'd read over and over and over and over again that it's okay to make the first move as a woman, that it's encouraged and preferred. Hell, it's the reason for Bumble, I think.

But I never used Bumble, and maybe that's my mistake. Bumble is an app where women basically message first. Men who are on Bumble know that, and that's probably the reason they sign up for it. I did a series of "test" messages on Ok Cupid and Tinder where I messaged the men I matched with first. In about 9/10 cases. No response. The tenth guy got back to me, months later, and was ghosty in text. NOBODY on OkCupid texted me back.

I had much greater success on Tinder or OKC when I mass swiped and just kinda let the messages flow into my inbox from men, and then I responded to them.

JackDallas · 2019-10-06T16:24:45+00:00

You scope out a man ... you like him and want social interaction.

Good, find out his habits, where he drinks coffee, goes to gym,

visits a bar room, works, attends church, anywhere he is.

Place your self there discretely. Make your self known to him.

Charlie Chaplin (great movie comic) met a wife this way.

You can too. Make certain you like this guy, when he keeps

running into you, he will make a habit to engage in conversation.

Wish you well.

Chrisanova_NY · 2019-10-06T19:09:08+00:00

What's wrong with boldly asking them out ?

Women are equals.... aren't you ?

UneAmi · 2019-10-06T05:00:28+00:00

has this been asked for many years now?

Sorry for being a jerk but I'm very sure about 10 guys will be here and give the same answer.

cheeeezeburgers · 2019-10-06T22:12:13+00:00

Ask him out. It's not that fucking hard.

smorrow · 2019-10-07T14:50:29+00:00

Female proceptivity (while letting the man think it was him) is literally more common than not. Kind of sad (for the girl) but true.

GeckoVanderwahl · 2019-10-06T03:35:30+00:00

I am also female, every relationship I've been in I've been the aggressor. I've felt a guy who is coming up to you, is approaching a dozen other girls too. Could never really trust him.

Title	Woman here....
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	65
Comments	80
Date	October 6, 2019 3:26 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ddxyns/woman_here/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/woman-here.1480480 https://theredarchive.com/post/1480480

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