Resources

soontobesolo · 2024-07-20T12:59:49+00:00

Louis CK said it all. https://youtu.be/otguwCKlGtI

grimxluna4ever · 2024-07-19T22:21:22+00:00

I do it all. I'm around 7 weeks out from my knowledge of the absolute betrayal. I'll feel a bit better for a couple of days. Then in a moment. Bam. It's all there again. I almost bought her out of our home so she wouldn't lose out on her new home. I felt that bad for her. She called me and texted me for three days like we were still together. Made me feel so good. That's called manipulation. My son talked me out of it. It creeps man. It just does. I wish it didn't.

Heavy_Guitar_4848 · 2024-07-19T20:29:03+00:00

I think just having a loose picture of your perfect life post divorce in your mind helps. Tell yourself what you want and let your subconscious mind go and get it.

NorthBoy_9012 · 2024-07-19T18:48:45+00:00

Also, get in the gym as often as you can, and just crank it out. Burn that nervous energy off. I’m 54 and in the best shape of my life - losing 79 lbs and keeping it off for 6+ years. When I announce my divorce in 6-7 weeks, I have built the confidence, by knowing I look 20 years younger - women compliment me, and I couple it with clean clothes, hygiene, and also smiling a’lot and being complimentary and kind. Part of my soon to be ex’s jealousy, anger, and continued bad attitude come from her knowing, and seeing, and prepping for my best life, before I’ve walked into it. You see the same story and methods repeated her ad infinity, over-and-over. Build yourself strong, and the best revenge is going on to live well, and never look back. I wish you strength, and not distraction, but focus. When you’re ready.

NorthBoy_9012 · 2024-07-19T18:36:38+00:00

There’s a great philosophical podcast I like called Secular Buddhism with Noah Rushetta. It teaches you not divorce, but a secular version of Buddhist teaching, for how to train your mind. How to detach. How to slow racing thoughts down. The difference between your ego/self, and “thinking”. Noah calmly breaks down his life situations, and Buddhist stories in a simple, calming and clear way to give you the tools to operate your mind, and emotions, correctly. I’ll give you the 1st basic lesson: learn to control your breath. When the anxiety comes on, that surely any person divorcing or considering divorce, breathe in deep, and let out a controlled, slow, breath. Picture the stress, the fear, the rage, the terror, the sorrow just escaping as an unwanted steam. Let go of it. Draw another slow, cleansing breath, repeat. Take 5 minutes every day, or as often as you need - to do this. If you can control your breath, you can control your emotions, you can control your mind - and this leads, over time, to a “mindfulness” that will bring you clarity, and the gradual ability to regain your life. Others will eventually look at your relaxed posture, your centered mind, your poise - and understand instinctively that they cannot shake you. Three years ago, meditating, I discovered a mantra that has served me well at work, and in interpersonal relationships: “I’m not going to argue with you, or any other person, as long as I live, ever again.” I wish you luck, peace, and centeredness in your journey my friend. Your mantra’s are inside of you, but you need peace and clarity and tools to discover the thought patterns that will lead you out of where your mind, and emotions are now. Breathe.

Beamformer · 2024-07-19T18:07:48+00:00

I think I took all of it in philosophically and just sorted it to my needs and objectives. I still wanted what I wanted in my failed marriage, to enjoy life and share it with someone likeminded. The TLDR for me was work on myself physically and mentally, be careful/educated on modern women, and just enjoy pursuing a better life. Focusing on the future and enjoying the present went a long way for me.

Music.. Lyrics Born(chest wide open,shake it off, i changed my mind)

The Heavy (how you like me now, girl)

OctinoxateAndZinc · 2024-07-19T17:54:02+00:00

https://www.cnn.com/audio/podcasts/all-there-is-with-anderson-cooper

Odd-Yoghurt1869 · 2024-07-19T17:38:17+00:00

The world's best Dad during and after a divorce (amazing read, I should've read it first)

Gatekeeper-Tactical advice for commitment (ordered and on it's way from advice here, excerpts looked great)

No More Mr. Nice Guy (still reading it, it is intense and has homework, so it is like a workbook)

AliveGloriouslyAlive · 2024-07-19T17:25:11+00:00

Movies: seemingly anything. It takes me out of the moment, removes my preoccupation with myself.

Music: waiting around to die; civilian; my body is a cage; Persephone in the garden; Anne.

Books/Audiobooks: leave a cheater Gain a Life; fall higher (Dean Young); cheating in a nutshell; meditations of Marcus Aurelius; no more mr.nice guy; devotions (Mary Oliver). I have found that poetry is often the only thing my mind has the bandwidth for right now.

Serious-Buffalo6776 · 2024-07-19T16:45:58+00:00

This will sound weird, but here I go - I read a lot. This might be a personal thing, but reading got me through it. On the non-fiction side, The Four Agreements, No More Mr. Nice Guy, and The Truth About Children and Divorce (If you’re a parent). On the fiction side, I read all 6 Frank Herbert Dune books and The Journeyer by Gary Jennings. Good luck!

Title	Resources
Author	fffrdcrrf
Upvotes	4
Comments	13
Date	July 19, 2024 3:32 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1e76ldd/resources/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/resources.1524639 https://theredarchive.com/post/1524639

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