Remaining friends

CulturedGentleman921 · 2024-05-03T23:58:34+00:00

Can Batman be "friends" with the Joker?

Jhonnybgood2017 · 2024-05-01T19:52:07+00:00

If you want to hear about her recent sexual encounters, go ahead and befriend her.

pradeepsmehra · 2024-05-01T18:06:49+00:00

I want to, but I will not do it 100%

DuelCitizener · 2024-05-01T03:56:55+00:00

Generally, no. If she instigated the divorce and you were not willing part of it, then being friends will only lead to the friend zone. Plus, awkwardness will ensue when one of you starts dating. All this is a course of generalization also common advice.

black65Cutlass · 2024-04-30T16:23:56+00:00

I couldn't do it. My ex-wife was my best friend when I married her. I didn't know about her mental health issues or that she would end up being abusive. It is amazing how little you really know about someone until you actually live with them long term. She can go to hell now.

organicwilly · 2024-04-30T16:11:01+00:00

You'd be setting yourself up for failure, obviously it didn't work out the first time. The definition of insanity is repeating the same action and expecting a different result. I never want to even lay eyes on my stbxw again let alone contemplate being friends with her.

Canadian_builder1081 · 2024-04-30T15:28:55+00:00

Why? If you don’t have kids together, move on! There are loads of single women out there who you could find a better connection with.

Timely_Froyo1384 · 2024-04-30T14:57:41+00:00

Dude don’t friend zone yourself.

Civil yes friends 🫤

ShaunyP_OKC · 2024-04-30T04:07:35+00:00

Don't do it. It's a trap and your ex wife will treat you like her emotional tampon. Shit can her and move on. That reminiscing is just your brain on love withdrawal. Ignore it. You're divorced for a reason.

probebeta · 2024-04-30T03:38:11+00:00

No. You can meet other women, build new friendships. I met a girl and in 3 months I learnt more about her than my ex of 10 years.

hazalo9 · 2024-04-30T03:18:18+00:00

"Just wanting us to go back to a time we had fun together" this says it all. You don't want to be friends, you want a relationship with her again. You can be friends but these type of feelings will get you in trouble emotionally. You have to be comfortable with yourself alone before moving on to something more advanced. Good luck bro

recovering88 · 2024-04-30T01:24:39+00:00

My ex and I were attempting to have a friendship for our kids sake but that ended the day I started dating someone new. She became someone that I didn’t recognize after that

dukeofthefoothills1 · 2024-04-30T00:20:05+00:00

Empty nester. She’d prefer more of a relationship; not me.

Famous_Vermicelli_56 · 2024-04-30T00:02:15+00:00

No. To me she is like the prosecuting attorney.

jjfishers · 2024-04-29T21:25:04+00:00

But why?

rhett342 · 2024-04-29T20:52:25+00:00

You probably didn't get divorced because the sex was bad. You got divorced because of your personalities. Why would you want to keep that failure around?

DivorceRecoveryMen · 2024-04-29T20:18:50+00:00

Why?? What is the up side?? Move on with your life and make new friends in order not to be alone. Venture out.

justme4556 · 2024-04-29T20:18:20+00:00

I will play the tape forward. Your friends, then your friends with benefits then you're in a relationship. Then remarried. Then divorced. again. It's a full red stop. Your ex needs to be ghosted if everything is settled. If kids or any other matters need to be handled treat it as a business exchange. Nothing more. How do I know this I did that exact pattern twice with my ex. Saying it was for the kids ect ect. Don't do it and learn from my mistakes.

krazykanuck · 2024-04-29T20:03:41+00:00

Im going to take a stab in the dark (feel free to ignore if im wrong), but im guessing you still are holding out hope and want this as a connection to her. Regardless, would you be able to encourage her in her new romances? Would you be able to hear her regale you about her amazing nee man? You know, things a friend would encourage. If you would have difficulty with that, then ask yourself honestly what it is you are really hoping for.

AttemptScary4550 · 2024-04-29T19:40:27+00:00

My EX seems to think we are friends. She said we could even have family events together with our new SOs. She talks to me like I'm interested in her life and care about it. No chance. I can no longer believe anything she says. She causes turmoil in my children's lives. I am very nice person in most cases so I'm friendly but we are not friends.

Character_Let_3982 · 2024-04-29T19:20:35+00:00

She feels I did something to her.

No cheating.

I did criticize her career though. She does even less than coasting. She plays at work. She has reached quadruple levels in Candy Crush, cultivates 1500 friend on Facebook, etc. We (meaning me) struggled to buy a home. And she went to Starbucks three times a day. That was a big recurring fight.

She told me (in a joking way of course) that my purpose in life was to serve her. I didn't laugh.

But anyway, I'm more forgiving. I'd rather get along just to avoid a lifetime of awkwardness. She's winning because she's forcing a lifetime of awkwardness.

HereinPA1 · 2024-04-29T19:00:37+00:00

I shake my head every time I see this question posted.

Why would anyone remain friends with an individual, assuming it was the wife that left, that abandoned a marriage, broke up a family and got paid to do it simply because they wanted to or had an affair?

The most useless person in the world to you is an ex. If I never saw her again it’d be too soon.

WittyBeautiful7654 · 2024-04-29T18:55:32+00:00

I tried, she got distant. Had to see her go on with her life. At lease seem be . Now I just try to ignore her existence. We have kids so I can't

ABBucsfan · 2024-04-29T18:18:50+00:00

Nope. There is a reason you got divorced. If both people really enjoyed being around each other that much then why did they divorce to Begin with? I'd say especially if kids were involved.

As others said if you're looking for a friend there are a ton of better options.. plenty of guys and girls out there (tbh I've never had a female that was a better friend than my dudes, I've only had a couple good female friends that felt close to comparable.. usually relate to other dudes more on that level.. had one really good long term female friend that was like one of the guys). If you don't have any other friends that. That's a bigger issue. You let yourdelf become isolated. Go out, join a club or a meetup group for hobbies like hiking, Volunteer somewhere etc. you'll make some friends

iSurvivedltd · 2024-04-29T18:12:13+00:00

Nothing positive will come from this.

There are 3.9 billion women on this planet. If you need a female friend, it shouldn't be too hard to find a replacement.

CulturedGentleman921 · 2024-04-29T18:04:39+00:00

Are you cool with seeing her go on dates with other dudes?

Heavy_Guitar_4848 · 2024-04-29T17:46:52+00:00

Don’t do it, find someone that’ll make you never think of your ex again. Resentment will always fester with an ex

whiskey_piker · 2024-04-29T17:37:04+00:00

Terrible idea. Besides, there are so many dynamics of people and relationships out there; being left, being the one that left, abuse survivor, abuser, etc.

CrazySanta7 · 2024-04-29T16:39:08+00:00

No. Often, one person still has feelings for the other and secretly hopes time will 'change her mind'. Are you ready to hear about dudes plowing your ex wife? That's what friends talk about. You'll just be another male orbitor on her friends list to give her the male validation most women seek.

TheWritePrimate · 2024-04-29T16:38:23+00:00

I’ve maintained a few friendships with ex girlfriends, but not all of them. Even then, we’ve never been as close as we used to be. I wouldn’t be against being friends with an ex, but it’s not necessarily good or bad. Really just depends on the relationship you have with that person. My ex wife and I, however, are definitely not friends. 😆

RichardCleveland · 2024-04-29T16:36:05+00:00

You are going to slow down the healing process, and perhaps even halt it via "hanging on". Ask yourself this, what happens when she is with someone new? It's very possible that she will randomly cut you off completely. Will it cause you a sense a loss all over again?

Or what happens if you run into your "friend" and she is walking hand in hand with some other guy? Would that feel like a dagger through your heart? Would you still want to talk about the "fun times"?

Honestly I don't like those idea's, I think turning to the next chapter and moving forward is the healthiest option.

fishingforthought · 2024-04-29T16:29:21+00:00

Weren’t friends in the end and it’s better to move forward not backwards.

CaliDude75 · 2024-04-29T16:08:40+00:00

Not “besties” with my ex, but we’re on civil terms. We live 400 miles apart from each other now.

I would like to remain on at least friendly (non-antagonistic) terms. If she expresses she wants no further contact, I’d be fine with it. 🤷🏻‍♂️

dday_throwaway3 · 2024-04-29T16:04:47+00:00

You don't get divorced to remain best friends.

You think your STBX is one-in-a-million, when in fact she is one-of-a-million. Your scarcity mindset is likely one of the root causes you are divorcing. You need to take some time to reconstruct yourself, because you're one blowjob away from creating closet space for another woman.

This is the best advice I've come across about post-divorce relationships: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/ogjhm0/wait_at_least_one_year_after_divorce_before_dating/

Title	Remaining friends
Author	fffrdcrrf
Upvotes	14
Comments	44
Date	April 29, 2024 3:56 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1cg2nvm/remaining_friends/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/remaining-friends.1516812 https://theredarchive.com/post/1516812

Comments