Panic attacks/depression

Business-Hope-5414 · 2024-04-14T18:56:46+00:00

Whatever you… don’t use alcohol as a means of self medicating… speak to friends.. family… most importantly… see a therapist… it’s all about requiring your brain. What I have been finding helpful is “mindfulness meditation”. You tube it…

Sea-Combination-3981 · 2024-04-14T01:02:11+00:00

I’ve been dealing with the divorce proceedings for over two years. I can definitely relate. For me, the most helpful thing has been to exercise. I started running and lifting weights 14 months ago. Its sole purpose has been to achieve some sense of stable mental health and work out some of the frustration, anger, disillusionment, etc.. The added benefit is that my physical health has gotten better and the exercise definitely helps me sleep better. I try and do everything I can to keep my sleep consistent.

jrgunner · 2024-04-13T21:02:22+00:00

I've had panic attacks, not because of her but because of all the drama (minimal timesharing, lawyers, courts, motions, having to constantly demonstrate I'm not guilty of any of her baseless allegations, financial ruin, etc).

My approach was to get healthy because I wanted to avoid any drugs/medication. And because therapy was not helping me at all. This is a topic that nobody wants to hear about this topic because it sounds crazy and it's boring. But your gut health is absolutely the most important thing you can do for your mental health (f.e.: did you know most serotonin comes from your gut? And that's there's a direct relationship between your gut and brain? And that we have neurons in our gut?) I can go on and on, but the point is that your gut health will have a direct impact on your mental/emotional state. I recommend you look up microbiome and especially Justin and Erika Sonnenburg's work.

Basically... 1. Avoid junk/processed foods. Try to get at least 35g of dietary fiber per day from whole foods while keeping your net carbohydrate intake to under 75g per day ( simpler but more difficult than it sounds). Get at least 70% of your daily calories from healthy fats. 2. Improve your sleep quality. Go to bed at the same time and wake up at the same time 7 days/week. 3. No alcohol or weed or any drug. 4. Walk at least 30 continuous mintues/day. Lift weights. 5. Get sunlight daily. 6. Meditate/pray or read. ( I recommend trying Wim Hof method).

This is not a weight loss/fitness routine. It's a mental health routine.

P.S. I don't know how old you are but if you haven't already done so get bloodwork done. You may be deficient in some nutrient or have a hormonal imbalance (especially testosterone).

Cheb44 · 2024-04-12T04:01:14+00:00

I had severe anxiety and depression afterwards, I had to check myself into inpatient because I was going to kill myself. I got back 4 weeks later she yo-yo’d me and left me again. I lost my job after that. Luckily I had established the first time I didn’t want to kill myself. I left her and my kids, took some time at my parents. That time probably saved my life. I’m paying for it in she has alienated me from my kids, but they still have a dad at least.

All that to say, you aren’t alone, we are all here and we have been through it. With time it gets better, I’m in the middle of it, but it has gotten better.

Medications help. Talking helps. Venting here helps. Literally just vent man, tell us how much of a fucking whore she is, trust me we get it and you will feel better.

Comfortable-Long-419 · 2024-04-12T00:40:24+00:00

I got on some extra anxiety meds, and got my antidepressants upped. It's helped quiet a bit

Ecstatic-Shopping313 · 2024-04-11T15:32:54+00:00

Inderal. Ask your doctor. It helps in a tight spot when you can't escape and go calm down, like at work. It's a beta blocker, so as long as you don't have blood pressure issues your doctor should give it to you or recommend a psychiatrist who will.

black65Cutlass · 2024-04-11T13:16:01+00:00

My panic attacks left with her, nothing since the separation.

roshi-roshi · 2024-04-11T11:06:49+00:00

What did you go back to school for? I think I might do the same thing.

I don’t believe I have total panic attacks, but I get a wave of absolute helplessness and hopelessness and can’t breathe. Usually freaking out about the future. The only way I can calm down is if I call my dad, text him or take a clonopin. It’s the worst part about this. The attacks and this nagging depression. I don’t foresee myself losing my job, but have recently been so tired at work I get worried.

Miserable_Ad_1172 · 2024-04-11T08:44:56+00:00

A low level anti depressant which helps with anxiety and panic attacks. Helped me well along with counselling (solo). It’s ok OP this is a place for you to vent and feel good. Your not alone and know most of this is the natural process of a sep/divorce. Don’t ever feel ashamed or depressed, you are going through a great deal but it will end and shall pass. You are only here once don’t live a sad life because of someone else’s choices. Always here if you need to chat. Stay strong and keep going, you got this.

fffrdcrrf · 2024-04-11T04:40:40+00:00

Thanks everyone, this is the only outlet I’ve found to be men helping men and it’s working. Makes me feel better about myself as a man

WartimeDad · 2024-04-11T04:24:49+00:00

In my opinion, having dealt with panic attacks, you need to channel both mental and physical energy into something a bit extreme.

They tend to happen when the mental stress/anxiety/pain triggers the amygdala (the most ancient part of brain) to interpret literally nothing as a very very physical thing. For example, in the Stone Age you would see a bear coming at your children. This amygdala is sending chemicals to the rest of your brain in order to jolt you into action. But you’re literally just sitting in a chair or walking across the room. There nothing there. So: panic attack.

The solution for the body is to exercise really hard, telling your body that it has done the thing. It has saved the children from the bear. You also are working mentally by doing this, because as muscles relax it sends chemicals to the brain.

The solution for the mind is a little bit weirder. You need to do something that evokes an animalistic fear in you, and then you need to conquer it. These aren’t big things, but they are mental things. Here are a few: jumping into a pool when it’s a bit cold. Getting into a cold shower and forcing yourself to stand in that cold shower. Your mind knows for a fact it’s in control. You’re not gonna die. You can turn off the cold. But you fucking stand there anyway. This is one of my favorites, because it’s a dopamine kick, and it teaches your amygdala that you are the boss. You will be not wanting it, and you wrestle for the win. Another example is a sauna. Get in that bitch with a big thing of water and fight against your amygdala begging you to get out. Stay in there 15 minutes.

My favorite is to knock out the mind and body at the same time. Another is running long distance. Your amygdala says “no stop no!” But you go on another little while anyway.

By far my favorite method is rock climbing. Fear of falling and dying will definitely trigger the amygdala response, but your tenacity to hang on and do things you thought would be impossible heals. And the physically side- I have never been stronger. I’ve been much bulkier, but this is lean and useful muscle. You also have a bit of socialization. Many strangers cheer each-other on. I recognize that not everyone has the minimum level of fitness, but I started at a relatively old age and just don’t push myself to do dumb shit.

Good luck man

a_day_at_a_timee · 2024-04-11T03:05:49+00:00

i quit drinking and the anxiety went away completely in about two months

UseResponsible4368 · 2024-04-11T02:53:58+00:00

Panic Attacks are rough. I've only had one or two clearly physical caused ones (sleep dep put off with too much caffine for too many days straight) and they're scary as hell, with the heart pounding and the light headedness.

Three ideas that really help calm me down and might work: Get LED lights and set them in soothing colors (They have these are very affordable light bulbs - Govee is one brand), and experiment with aroma therapy and music. I like saffron-orange, salty ocean spray smells, and the Orb (Space/Trance/Electronic Drone). Soma.fm a free internet radio station has "Drone Zone". Think the filler music for astronomical documentaries.

I also have a cheap "nebula" machine with a bluetooth speaker that shines "nebulas" on the walls and ceilings

Some might say it's meditation or it's too "Dorm Room Decor" but hanging out for 5-10 minutes and just chilling helps center me when I feel overwhelmed or overstimulated.

EDIT: Another idea is replace one meal with a Salad or Fruit/Cheese/Cracker platter. Something light and refreshing. The vitamins and fiber will help your overall as well as mental health.

engineered-chemistry · 2024-04-11T02:02:40+00:00

I’ve never had a panic attack before either until going through separation. Wish these on no one. For me, house projects, woodworking and exercise (tennis, sprints and lifting) seems to keep the anxiety at bay. Much better to fall asleep physically exhausted than have my mind race all night long with “what if” scenarios that don’t matter. You are not the only one…

dday_throwaway3 · 2024-04-11T01:15:27+00:00

Panic attacks about what? That she's gone? That you're lonely?

You say you're depressed. Is that self-diagnosed or are you actually seeing a therapist and taking medication for it?

MysteriousLevel526 · 2024-04-11T00:49:31+00:00

I got panic attacks for a couple of months but they went away. Never had them before or since but they were fucking terrifying. Don't drink no matter how you feel, it'll make them worse.

BusinessElectronic52 · 2024-04-11T00:19:48+00:00

Goto dr get low dose Xanax prescription. Practice trying to end panic attack without the pill only take half if you need it

OctinoxateAndZinc · 2024-04-10T23:34:48+00:00

How far are you into things?

First month I was a DISASTER. EVERY DAY. Thats normal. You're mind/body is in full blown disaster control mode. It heaps on stress. I wasnt sleeping, eating, super emotional, just top to bottom hot mess.

what do you do about it honestly?

Reached out to all my friends. They were/are a massive support group. I had no issue texting/calling saying "please get me out of my house" and went and saw movies or grabbed something to eat. Being out of the house and around others helps.

I FORCED myself to eat well - healthy meals at least once a day. No junk food/sugar/fast food. Even if you just buy a pre-made salad or fruit or something. Get all the crap food out of your house. If its not there you will not eat it.

NO DRINKING. I have not had a drop since this started and that, above all else, was prob one of the best things I could have done. Clear mind and not feeling like crap after a night of drinking. It solves nothing and just makes things worse emotionally.

I’m worried it will affect the one proactive thing I have left which is my job.

If you haven't done so already tell your boss. My boss was in the first ten people I told and they were understanding. Also provided some flexibility when I had to leave work due to legal BS and just flat out being unable to focus.

This is gonna be the worst thing you've ever dealt with in your life but you are dealing with it, even now, coming here and asking for advice. You WILL get trough it. Im 18+ months out and am SO SO SO much better than I was at the onset.

Title	Panic attacks/depression
Author	fffrdcrrf
Upvotes	14
Comments	23
Date	April 10, 2024 11:20 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1c0ztfs/panic_attacksdepression/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/panic-attacksdepression.1514712 https://theredarchive.com/post/1514712

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