Legal separation

Braccas · 2019-10-26T23:09:26+00:00

It depends on the State. In Colorado, legal separation is identical to a divorce other than you can't get married again. Here's the scoop It is specifically for religious beliefs that don't allow divorce, and for health insurance reasons. However, most insurance companies recognize legal separation and will kick her off insurance immediately. The federal government doesn't recognize it, so if your insurance is through the feds, she'd be safe for now.

Legal Sep in Colorado breaks all financial ties. Child Support, Alimony, Division of Properties, and Assignment of Liabilities are all taken care of. It can't be changed, and is a final order. If you want to be a lazy bum, she doesn't have to help you. If you win the Powerball, she can't touch it. Should you choose to divorce later, it's one form, $130.00, a statement saying you told the other person, and it's granted without review.

I looked into it when I was getting divorce, just so she'd have health insurance for 6 months. (per our agreement) The insurance company would have kicked her off, so I cut bait and got divorced. It cost me an extra 5k, but 5k is nothing when she walked out with 250k.

I wish the States would get out of marriage and divorce cases. All cases should be looked at with the who, what, where, when, why mentality by a mediator, with BLAME placed. A divorce should be granted for any reason, but when it's a "I was bored and he's never home because he's making money to support my cushy lifestyle, so I fucked the pool boy when I was on vacation in Ibiza" case, she should take a financial hit in the proceedings, too. Alimony is supposed to be to help her maintain her lifestyle until she can do it herself, but if her lifestyle includes fucking random people after taking a vow "before God and the State", I shouldn't have to subsidize said lifestyle. /Rant: Off

sexytimeinseattle · 2019-10-26T18:19:59+00:00

You’re going to get blow back. This is classic wanting cake and eating it too. She wants to live her life but maintain financial protections of a marriage.

I very much doubt you’ll be able to provide enough in a handshake that’ll she’ll be happy, so will wind up divorcing you to try to extract more, and will have precedence on her side then as well.

I think you should negotiate in good faith, but with legal assistance, and go for full divorce. Her health insurance is her problem.

jeffrrw · 2019-10-26T17:32:44+00:00

https://www.divorcesource.com/ds/illinois/illinois-legal-separation-5312.shtml

Its not just like divorce. Divorce is the dissolution of the marriage, property, child custody etc. All of these can be determined in a separation agreement but the final say happens in the divorce. But from my reading it appears that it is somewhat similar.

Braccas · 2019-10-26T18:39:55+00:00

Actually this is a good alternative. I have seen it done with older married couples. It is exactly like a divorce, except it’s not.

Medical insurance is a bitch and will always be important. But she needs to start working if she’s not.

In a separation, you split the assets, debt, pay child custody, childcare and support. She can take you to court to increase child support, just like in a full divorce. But financially you are each on your own financially after signing. You absolutely need an attorney. Do not try this on your own,

And know that each of you can go down to the court house and with a simple form, convert the separation to a divorce at any time. Get an attorney.

Ptown59 · 2019-10-27T05:02:18+00:00

Trust me when I say, lawyer up. In Ohio, separation and divorce are essentially the same thing. Was your ex a stay at home wife? If so, then yes there will be alimony but it’s not permanent. CS will be a ton though for 4 kids. You’re most likely going to give up half of your retirement, that’s pretty standard here in OH.

I’m sorry she cheated and is doing you dirty like this. Best of luck to you man. Best thing I’ve ever done is keep my kids in mind with everything to block out the BS of divorce. Good luck.

hairy_russian · 2019-10-27T05:01:34+00:00

This isn’t related to your question but are you using this “married” time to prepare for divorce?

Build up a war chest, put assets away into a trust etc ... consult your attorney on how to do it appropriately and above board.

derelictherds · 2019-10-27T07:53:51+00:00

Depends on the state. In my home state, a legal separation is essentially a type of divorce. Custody, property, assets, etc are settled and a decree of separate maintenance is issued. The terms of the settlement agreement can be applied to the eventual divorce. There's actually a language in my agreement that covers this. For me a legal separation seemed like a good idea because the ex wanted to stay on my health insurance and the state requires a very lengthy separation (18 months!) for a no fault divorce. I'm about 9 months in to the legal separation and it's been almost year since she nuked the marriage. If had to do over I would've pushed harder for an actual divorce. Mostly for the closure, but also because I'm finding that some women won't enter a serious relationship with or even date a separated man.

Oh and make sure your insurance will actually carry a legally separated spouse before you get too far along in the process.

dday_throwaway3 · 2019-10-27T13:29:23+00:00

What state? Legal separation isn't an option in many states. It is an option in CA.

A legal separation is for couples that do not want to get divorced but want to live apart and decide on money, property, and parenting issues. Sometimes couples prefer legal separation for religious reasons.

In a legal separation case, you can submit an agreement or ask the Judge for orders like child support, spousal support, custody, or any other orders you can get with a divorce case. It is through those orders that the Judge and State maintain jurisdiction.

Verbal agreements cannot be enforced by the court. If you only go with a verbal agreement, either one of you can change your mind at any time for any reason with no legal repercussions.

GrayCalf · 2019-10-28T01:56:58+00:00

I'm not sure if Illinois has it, but here in Maryland, if you can come to a mutual consent divorce, things move much quicker and it's considerably cheaper than fighting it out in court. I understand you're trying to play nice, but given what she's done, why wait until she's ready to stab you in the back somewhere else?

My backstory is somewhat similar to yours -- wife cheated after six years and wasn't content because I had to spend all my time working to pay for her cushy lifestyle and that of her sponge friends. I booted her out the door with no regrets. Fortunately, I don't have children like you do. Still, a mutual consent or amicable divorce is a worthwhile option if you can make it work.

And really, why do you care if she has health insurance or not? If she cared so much about it, she wouldn't have screwed someone else.

rapidwiz · 2019-11-04T00:59:54+00:00

Dude she cheated, get rid of her. Lawyer up, once a cheater always a cheater. Why are you even considering staying with her .. the long you were her, the more alimony etc .. do the right thing and divorce her cheating ass now .. do NOT stay with her and do NOT feel sorry for her, throw her onto the street where she belongs.

Title	Legal separation
Author	Braccas
Upvotes	8
Comments	29
Date	October 26, 2019 4:51 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/dngfiz/legal_separation/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/legal-separation.819084 https://theredarchive.com/post/819084

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