Pre FDS, I used to be the woman who wanted to impress guys with how cool, how chill, and how independent and how modern I was. I had adopted many libfem qualities like asking guys out, offering to pay, driving to him, asking to define the relationship or saying I love you first, etc (vomits). As you grow solid in FDS you may find that you have to unlearn your old libfem habits and literally learn to be comfortable with HVM treating you well.

Case in point : I’m currently dating and vetting a few men. One man in particular is showing signs of potentially being a HVM. He drives an hour each way to meet me in my city. He always pays. Always. And he smiles when I politely thank him for dinner like it’s his absolute pleasure. I sometimes catch myself wanting to tell him “no, you always pay, let me get treat you this time” “this is too expensive I’ll split” or “I’ll drive to you.” And then I repeat to myself:

RELAX. HE WANTS TO DO THIS. HE ENJOYS THIS. IT MAKES HIM FEEL LIKE A MAN. ITS OKAY TO BE TREATED WELL!

Male lurkers will read this and think this is selfish and one sided. Nope. I show and tell him I appreciate his gestures with smiles, and squeeze his hand and kiss his cheek and other small, non monetary tokens of gratitude. But I NEVER step into his role and become the pursuer. I never let him think he’s choosing me instead of the other way around.

TLDR: Reformed libfem ladies- ALLOW yourself be pursued by HVM. Don’t get scared and regress back to the 50/50 girl hoping to impress him with your coolness. It’s hard when you’ve been conditioned to chase all of your life but learn to RELAX and receive.