I met the woman I wanted to marry at age 34.

She got pregnant. It was no accident. I was paying for her prenatal care out of pocket as she was uninsured.

She quickly grew distant and uncommunicative, which culminated in her going to find out the gender of our child without me, having said that the appointment was an "unimportant one."

She left me at 5 months pregnant after I moved house to one she preferred that cost quite a bit more. I lost the deposit on that house and had to sell quite a lot of my belongings to afford a new deposit to move back to my original home after she left.

I tried counseling. At the therapist, she falsely accused me of "potential violence," then asked me to stop speaking to her, so I did.

She named our daughter without my input. I was allowed at the delivery, but was threatened with removal from the scenario if I tried to discuss our situation.

I go back to the hospital the day after my daughter's birth, and the birth certificate comes in for her to sign. I was purposely left off the birth certificate. This was January.

Come June, after initial visits at her home that I thought went well, then solo visits for around 8 hours a week at my home, I was served papers for a paternity suit. Not only had I never denied paternity, but I repeatedly asked to be put on the birth certificate so that I could give my child health insurance.

I am afforded the bare minimum of visitation with my child that the affluent county she's currently residing in requires, around nine hours a week, and now I'm headed to court this week. The state of Kansas mandates via formula that any case brought before it require child support payments.

As she has not been working since before the birth, the formula determines that I will be losing 600 dollars a month of my pretty meager income to her, as well as retroactive support back to June... despite the fact that I have given her 200/month in all the diapers, formula, and jarred food our child could ever need. This could reach ~3600 dollars by the time the case is settled, due immediately. I will never have 3600 dollars all at once in my life on my income.

She broke federal law by excluding my information from her state assistance forms for income assistance and health care before and after the birth to increase the assistance amount and duration.

When these child support payments start, combined with my student loan payments, I will no longer be able to afford a place to live.

edit: wanted to add an addendum detail for the lulz... At brunch one morning after our child's birth, my ex looks at me and with no irony whatsoever, explains to me how if her younger sister had been raised with a father figure that maybe she'd not be dropping out of high school. WTF-squared.

I still attend the same therapist we tried to see together last fall. She's willing to testify to my character as a non-abusive, rational, and committed father and that my ex has borderline personality disorder.

My ex is one of two daughters of a mother who has never been married. Neither of these daughters has any significant relationship or interaction with their fathers. The younger of the two daughters has literally never met her father. They drove him away through accusations of stalking and taking him to court.

There's little to none to be done about this but wait for my punishment and pray that something changes.

That's it. Thanks for letting me vent here.